


Part 2, A New Life (Rewrite)

by peldarjoi



Series: Terrorists Don't Get to Be Heroes [2]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Bajorans, Cardassians, Domionion War, F/M, Gen, Maquis, Non-Explicit Sex, Occupation of Bajor, Original Character(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rewrite, Starfleet Academy, Starfleet Intelligence, Starfleet Vows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-01-02 15:58:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 79,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21164279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peldarjoi/pseuds/peldarjoi
Summary: Kee’s life had been singularly focused on one task. Now that her people are free from Cardassian rule she is forced to find new purpose, and struggles to adapt as her life starts over.(This is a rewrite of a work I posted here a few years ago.)





	1. Nothing

_9371-9372, Bajor (2369-2370, Earth Calendar)_

She stood in line waiting to make her purchase. The crowded store was bustling with people, yet she felt absolutely alone. Like there was an invisible shield between her and them. She could see and hear them, but couldn’t seem to reach out.

Kee numbly stepped forward as the line moved. She should have been happy. Wasn’t this all she had wanted? A normal life? No more fighting, no more death?

She was here, buying food for her family. The line wasn’t especially long, the food wasn’t rationed to portions just above starvation or barely fit for consumption. It was limited, yes, but there was enough for her five-member family.

There was nothing _wrong_ with her life. And yet-

An elderly woman shuffled by the line on her way into the shop, fragile and worn from a hard life under the Cardassians. Each step she took was carefully placed just to keep herself upright.

Unfortunately the floor was not even or smooth. Her toe hit a raised crack and she pitched toward the line.

Kee instantly reached out to grasp her elbow, steadily supporting her frail, lightweight body until she regained her balance.

With a gentle, but ice cold, pat on her hand, the woman said, “Thank you dear.” And ambled on her way.

For that one brief moment, Kee felt like herself again. She hadn’t thought, she’d only reacted automatically to help someone in danger. Then, like a forcefield reactivating, the barrier between her and the rest of the world went back up and she was alone again.

She didn’t encounter many elderly people. Many of them didn’t survive the decades of Cardassian brutality. There were precious few people left to remember what their world was like before, and that woman would certainly be one of them.

Her own grandparents were long gone by the time Kee was born. Before the occupation they had owned a large house on Paadra Lake. By their d’jarra they were fishers and worked on the lake. When the provisional government returned the property to Kee’s mother, she’d decided to continue that line of work and restart the business that once thrived out of the home.

Kee, however, despised fish. Alive or dead, she hated the slimy, stupid things with their unblinking eyes. Besides, the taste of their flesh reminded her of the Cardassian field rations she’d had to eat for so many years.

The family had eventually reached an agreement, Edda and their mother would fish the lake, Joial and his wife would manage the transportation and sale of the fish and Kee would restore the run-down house and generally keep the house running. Her life had become an endless cycle of cooking, cleaning, yardwork and repair that stretched on into an indefinite future.

If Traie was here… she immediately banished the thought.

She hadn’t even realized when she was next to be helped and she numbly set her basket and shoulder bag on the counter.

The clerk asked, _how’s your mother? How’s business? How are the repairs to the house going?_ And she answered the familiar questions automatically through a mask that was her own smile.

He read her the total and she held out her hand to drop a stack of coins into his.

The clink of the coins echoed in her ears. The store, the clerk, the money all blacked out of her awareness and she saw a Cardassian soldier drop a stack of coins into another soldier’s hand while the rest of their companions mocked and ridiculed the Bajorans before them.

Kee felt herself restrained while three of her comrades knelt on the ground. In this apparition, their faces were obscured, but she knew who they were. She knew what was about to happen to them once the Cardassians finished betting on which one would survive longest.

She blinked the memory away with a start, but kept the mask firmly in place.

The clerk didn’t notice. Neither did the others in line behind her. Not a single person knew what had just happened. Just like the way the rest of her world seemed to have moved on and forgotten everything, everyone who’d been lost.

Disconnectedly, she accepted her change and lifted the bag onto her shoulder to leave, carrying all the memories, the pain, the isolation on her shoulders as well.

* * *

Ren beamed down to the front walk of what had obviously once been a beautiful home. Kee had mentioned once or twice the account of how the Cardassians seized the property and sent her mother’s family to the refugee camp. Hearing the story third-hand, he’d never realized that it was practically a mansion.

After the Withdrawal, the provisional government formed a committee to return such properties back to the owners or their descendants. That’s when Kee had learned that the officer that had taken the house abandoned it only a decade after having taken it. It had sat empty and neglected for over twenty years, Kee’s entire life. The fact that it was still livable now was a testament to pre-occupation craftsmanship.

High above him, chipped and cracked antifix-topped gables ran across much of the third floor. A row of simple brattishing decorated the crest of the hastily patched roof. The second-floor featured a series of tall windows with ornate balconettes in various states of collapse with one entirely missing. On the ground in front lay more pieces of brattishing that looked like they belonged to the wide portico around the ornate entry doors. On both sides of the main house sat several outbuildings connected by covered colonnades that were overrun by vining weeds and accumulated plant debris.

As he walked up the eroded path past tangles of weeds and overgrown bushes, he eventually spotted Kee at the far corner of the home. She was restacking the stones of a retaining wall that had collapsed.

When Kee lifted another heavy stone to place on the top of the others, he could see part of the dark scar that ran across her back. He wondered, not for the first time, whether he had been too hard on her about the incident. It had been a difficult lesson but an important one. In the end, she’d become a better soldier for it. And that’s what he’d always wanted for her anyway. Because the better she was, the better chance she’d have to survive it all. And she did.

As he approached, she greeted him by name without looking up. “How’d you know it was me?” He asked.

She stood to stretch her back, “You walk like a Talarian lumberjack. You’re pretty hard to miss.”

Ren stepped close to her and encircled her in his arms. She wrapped her arms around him to return the embrace, then pulled back and looked at him. “Look at you!” She exclaimed, noting his red militia uniform. “This looks good on you, _Captain_.”

“They gave me one of the old ships from before the Occupation. The Krehu.”

She smiled wide at him, but there was something else in her eyes, “You deserve it.”

The two of them sat down on a finished section of the retaining wall. She looked more than just physically exhausted.

“How’ve you been?” He asked her.

“I’m ok.” She lied, but he didn’t call her on it. After a moment she leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees, looking at the ground. “This is what we worked so hard for so long, right?” Her voice wavered a tiny bit and she paused.

He waited, he knew her well enough not to push her.

Finally, she sighed heavily and continued, “I guess I just need time to get used to this kind of life.”

She was trying to make this work, but he could see how unhappy she was. Again, he waited for her to continue.

She looked up at the sky and took a shaking breath, “My brother won’t speak to me.” She shrugged and looked at him, “When he occasionally does, it turns into an argument.” She looked down at her hands, “My mother…” she paused again, trying to find words, “I think she expected things between us to be like they were before. That we’d have that relationship that we once did.” She hung her head over her hands and took a deep, calming breath. “What she wants is the girl I used to be, not who I am now.”

Ren scooted closer to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. She leaned into him and rested her head on his shoulder. They sat in silence for a few moments while he did what little he could to comfort her. He hated to see her in this position and selfishly wanted to encourage her to run off with him and join the militia, but he had to sympathize with her mother. If he’d had a daughter taken away from him, he’d want nothing more than to have her back.

“Give it some time.” He advised her, “If things don’t get better after a while, you can think about making a change. But for now, just give yourself and them some time to adjust.”

She nodded, still with her head against his shoulder. “She blames you, you know.” She scoffed, “Because I couldn’t possibly have made such a decision myself.”

There were times when he wondered if he’d done the right thing accepting her into their group. After one of their intense training sessions Oardoli had expressed her concerns. _You’re pushing her too hard._ She’d said.

But the fact was that she’d been driven from the very start. _She_ was pushing _him_, demanding more, wanting to be better, stronger. _I’m not pushing her at all._ He’d actually had to insist that they take a break that time.

_Then you need to make her slow down. Otherwise she’ll give everything she’s got and have nothing left when it really counts._ She told him.

He’d tried to take her advice, but Kee wouldn’t back down, always demanding more and more. But could he have done more to slow her down? Could he have brought himself to discourage her?

“I’m not surprised.” He finally said, bringing himself back to the present. “It was my decision.”

She pulled away from him and laughed, “Aww, that’s cute. No, it wasn’t.”

It felt good to laugh together again, he hadn’t realized how much he missed them all. “Is Joial around?”

“He’s down at the lake working on repairing the boat again. I’m sure he’d be happy to have you stop by.”

Ren stood up. He wanted to swoop in and fix everything for her, but what she really needed was space to figure out who she would be apart from him and the Resistance and what she wanted to do.

“We’ll be in orbit a few more days. I’ll stop by again before we leave.”

“I’d like that.”

* * *

The smell of the dirt was something to focus on, at least. Kee tried to concentrate on that as she dug a row of seedlings into the ground in what was slowly becoming a vegetable garden.

This should make her happy, working the soil. Bajorans were supposed to have a profound connection to the world beneath their feet.

She longed to feel that connection. Feel _anything_ really. But most of the time she felt nothing.

About anything.

She prepared food for her family, she worked on repairs to the house, she tended the garden and dozens of other chores she hadn’t known existed a year ago.

Her life had once meant something. She saved lives, helped liberate her people. But now she drifted like a piece of debris lost in space.

_Lost_ was the descriptive word. What was she even doing here?

If Traie had lived, they might have been married by now. But she clamped down on that thought before the weight of it could crush her.

She bundled up that pain and jammed the trowel into the ground harder than necessary. The tip struck a rock and her hand slipped and pinched her finger.

She sat back on the ground, focusing on the sharp pain throbbing under her skin. At least it was something she _could_ feel. The only thing that proved she was still alive and not stranded in some kind of limbo.

She stared at her hands for a long time. First the blood blister that stood out dark red against her skin. Then at the dirt on her hands and under her fingernails.

She blinked and thought she saw blood there instead.

Panic surged through her body, sending her heart racing. An overwhelming and irrational feeling of fear landed, and she scrambled backward against the tall grain stocks behind her away from a threat she couldn’t identify.

There, in a hollow between some of the stocks, hands shaking, she grasped to rein in the fright that held her paralyzed. Her breathing was quick and shallow, but she consciously forced deeper, slower breaths against her body’s protest.

She’d been through extreme trauma, she reminded herself. Her mind was still reeling from it. She’d lived in fight or flight mode for so long that she didn’t remember how to respond any other way. That’s all this was.

Breathing steadily to slow her heart, she sat back on the ground where she was and gazed up at the blue sky feeling tiny and alone. Again and again she found her thoughts returning to the three Starfleet officers she’d met on that moon in the Panora system. She didn’t even know their real names, but they’d had more of an impact on her than she’d realized at the time. That they’d risked their lives for her people when it wasn’t even their fight was something that her thoughts had hung up on many times since.

She would probably never know if their efforts had any impact in shortening the Occupation, but the fact that they’d tried spoke volumes about their courage, their integrity and their principles.

The leader of the group had wanted her to go with them. What if she had? Would he have convinced her not to go home? Go join Starfleet or some such nonsense? Abandon her people? Her friends? She thought with disgust.

But she was no longer bound by duty to her people. They’d accomplished their task. Restoring their world was better suited to farmers, politicians, builders and the like, not a soldier like her. All she could do was fight, and there had been too much of that on Bajor since the Occupation ended.

Her world didn’t need people like her anymore.

She continued to stare at the sky imagining she could see past the blue, past the B'hava'el system to the stars beyond until her eyes started to water from the brightness.

* * *

Despite the warm, pleasant summer, Kee drifted through most days, systematically checking things off of her ever-growing list of things to do. Every time she managed to shorten the list, more got added on to the end of it. Either that or something catastrophic would happen, like the collapse of another section of roof, and everything else had to be set aside.

Most of those tasks required very little concentration, leaving her ample time to think. Think about the past, think about the future, dwell on mistakes and failures and those she’d lost. And the ever-deepening feeling that she didn’t belong.

Summer had come and gone along with the anniversary of the Withdrawal which seemed both long ago and terribly recent at the same time.

She’d moved her gardening efforts into the conservatory that was attached to the back of the house where she could continue growing vegetables through the dreary, rainy winter. She stepped back from the rickety shelves that held the beginning of their precious winter food supply and looked up to reevaluate once again the stability of the place.

The ornate wrought iron assembly was rusted out in some places, missing panes of glass, the whole structure would sway in windy weather and few of the mechanisms to open windows worked freely. Most of the inside was still filled with remnants of old plants that had grown wild until they eventually died of neglect. She’d only been able to clear out a small section for her immediate use and hurriedly covered the missing glass with polymer sheets that she hoped would survive the winter. Just that day she’d spotted a small pond deep inside the overgrowth that was completely green with algae.

With the back of her dirty hand, she unsuccessfully tried to push a lock of hair back behind her ear, sighing at the memory it called up. Her hair still hadn’t grown back even to her shoulders after having been cut when she was processed to work in that mine. More than anything else, that experience continued to give her nightmares. She’d been in worse situations, far, far worse, but she’d never felt so utterly helpless as she had in that moment. The feeling of her hair being sliced off, even just the memory of it, still sent chills down her spine.

It dawned on her suddenly what time it was. She grabbed the basket full of the last of the vegetables from the outdoor garden and rushed inside to begin preparing dinner, stopping at the washbasin to scrub the dirt off of her hands. Then she wound her way through the large interior to reach the kitchen. It had taken her several weeks to master the layout of the house and there was one entire wing with such bad damage that they’d just closed it off entirely for the first few months. But now she could confidently navigate it even in the dark on those nights when they lost power.

Calling for the computer to play music, she began washing the vegetables she planned to prepare.

The old comm relay system the Resistance had used had been repurposed to broadcast music written by and for former members. Others were free to tap into it, of course, but they would never carry an appreciation for it the way those who fought the Cardassians did.

She closed her eyes as she cleaned dirt off of a bundle of root vegetables and allowed the music to carry her mind. Her heart ached as the lyrics hit home. Her throat tightened with the pain the words expressed. But despite the ache the music invoked, she cherished it. At least she didn’t feel so dreadfully alone. There were others out there that remembered and felt what she did.

Then another song came on, instead of mournful, it was upbeat and defiant, swaying her mood to lighten. Soon her hips began to move to the beat and she was reminded of the feeling of victory when they’d successfully delivered a blow to the Cardassians.

Finished with washing, she moved to a cutting pad as she heard someone enter the kitchen behind her.

Based on the huff, she could tell it was her mother. “Honestly, Keedra, I think you listen to this music just to aggravate me.”

Kee involuntarily made a face to herself at the jab, but made sure her expression was neutral before she turned around to slide a knife out of its holder. As she did so, the music’s tempo picked up for the chorus and she flipped the knife into the air and caught it perfectly on the beat, drawing an audible gasp from her mother.

“I wish you wouldn’t do that.” She scolded.

Rather than snap something back at her that would only serve to escalate the impending argument, she changed the subject. “You’re back early.”

“The boat’s motor quit again.” She said testily.

“Again?”

She and Edda had only been able to work a little more than half their usual amount that month because of that thing. Meaning their income was nearly cut in half. Meaning more pressure on Kee’s novice farming skills. She hated to apply for more government aid and take away from others who might need it more. Her shoulders sagged at the extra burden, but she would carry on as always.

* * *

On one hand, the misty rain kept her feeling cool, on the other it also made the surface of the dirt turn to mud. But Kee didn’t want to lose a moment of what little time she had left to work outside before the rain really started.

On one of the last somewhat dry fall days she had left, she was clearing out the far corner of the property where it seemed that the Cardassians had dumped everything her mother’s family wasn’t able to take with them when they were escorted away.

The moment her mother realized what the mess was, she wouldn’t go near it. So Kee had put it as a high priority to get it cleaned up.

Over the years of rain and sun and wind, the pile had been partly covered by a layer of dirt and with it, weeds. Now that the weeds were gone, she began digging deeper, uncovering everyday items like clothes, books, broken dishes. The most heartbreaking were the children’s toys.

She thought she’d managed to achieve some level of detachment when she dug down and pulled a flat, oblong piece of leather out of the dirt. She knew it was best to just chuck everything in the refuse bin, don’t identify it, but she found herself staring at it while she settled back on her heels.

Then it dawned on her what she was looking at and the realization slammed into her chest almost physically. It was the insole of a child’s shoe. She couldn’t stop herself from imagining the child who once wore it being driven from her home and dumped in a crowded, cold, muddy refugee camp.

Soon the wetness on her face wasn’t only from the rain and she wiped it away with her damp sleeve. Then she began to feel the all too familiar surge of yet another panic coming on. She tamped down the reaction, closing her eyes and breathing slowly, focusing on the present. By the time it passed, her shaking hands were balled into fists and her heart was racing, but she’d held herself together this time.

She could hardly go more than a couple of days without either a flashback or a panic attack. This wasn’t working. She couldn’t do this anymore, but she didn’t know what else to do.

All her life, circumstances had pushed and pulled her in directions she wouldn’t have necessarily chosen. The truth was that she missed the part of her old life that had given her a sense of purpose. The part where she fought to protect people, where she sought justice in an unjust world. She never wanted to go back to those horrible days, but still, she missed it somehow.

For the first half year after the Withdrawal, before she came home to live with her family, she had worked alongside a Starfleet relief team. Working nearly 18-hour days putting up temporary shelters and distributing relief supplies alongside most of the rest of her cell. That was the last time she remembered truly feeling good. She’d had purpose there. She tried to tell herself that she was serving a purpose here too, but she didn’t buy it. Anyone could do what she was doing and once her family was earning enough, they could hire someone to do it.

Then there were those three Starfleet spies. She still thought about them often. What if she had gone with them? Would it have been so terrible?

She couldn’t imagine doing such a thing while her world, and her friends, had needed her so badly. But what about now?

She was shocked to find a thrill pass through her at the thought. To stand amongst the ranks of that uniform. To have an opportunity to make a difference in the universe.

Her hopes sunk back down when she realized it was impossible. She had no real education; she’d have no chance up against those who’d had available to them one of the best educational systems in the quadrant. Beyond the basics, she mostly only knew how to shoot a gun.

But now that the thought was there, she couldn’t seem to shake it.

* * *

“You can’t be serious!” Kee’s mother said, nearly shouting across the dinner table.

Kee had spent the day at the Starfleet port in the city. She’d only intended to explore the possibility, but found that they already had a program in place for people like her, to get them up to speed and able to compete against Federation-born candidates. It would take her a couple of years just to pass the entrance exam, then would require an extra course load after that, but she’d never been afraid of hard work.

She even managed to speak to Commander Kantor, who she’d worked under with the Starfleet relief team. She’d barely finished stating her interest when he jumped in with an offer to write a recommendation.

The whole thing had lifted a weight that had burdened her for longer than she could remember. For the first time in a year, she felt hopeful.

“It’s done. I’ve made a commitment.” She said, trying to keep her tone even.

Her brother ignored them and continued to eat his meal, no doubt he’d later accuse her of abandoning them again. That is, if he said anything to her at all. There were times when they’d gone weeks without speaking to one another. Her mother’s reaction wasn’t far from what she’d expected either.

“A commitment? How could you make a commitment without checking with me first?”

“I don’t need your permission.” She shot back.

“Where is this coming from? Why in the realm of the Prophets would you even think of it? You want to get away from me so badly that you’d run off to the other side of the quadrant?”

Kee refrained from rubbing her forehead even though a pointed headache was beginning to form. Her mother’s knack for making everything about her was getting harder and harder to take. “This has nothing to do with you. It’s about me and what I want to do with my life.”

She waved a dismissive hand in front of her. “You probably wouldn’t even get in. Keedra, you have no education.”

Kee bristled at the jab, “It’ll take me a few years, but I can catch up.”

“Why can’t you just join the militia? Isn’t _that captain_ always trying to convince you to do that?” She argued.

Ren and his crew spent most of their time patrolling Bajoran space. He had tried multiple times recently to get her to sign up and join his crew, but even though she’d love to be under his command again, it still wasn’t what she wanted.

“At least then you’d still be in the area.” Her mother continued, insistent. “But going all the way to Earth??”

“I don’t expect you to understand.” Kee muttered, but Edda interrupted her.

“Of course we wouldn’t understand,” he addressed their mother, not Kee and stood, picking up his empty dishes, “we’re not _heroes_ like them.” With that he stomped away.

She ignored him. “I’ve made my decision.” She repeated.

“No. I forbid it.” Her mother said as though her judgement was final.

“You forbid it?” She said, finally losing her temper. “You need to accept that I’m _not_ a child! No matter how much you want me to be.”

Jora stood up so quickly her chair tipped over backwards. “Sneaking off to the Starfleet base! Abandoning your family! Again! You’re certainly acting like you did when you were a child.” With that she picked up her dishes and followed Edda into the kitchen.

Kee could only gape after her, heart racing, reeling from the stinging dig. She’d somehow made what Kee went through joining the Resistance about her, too. It would have hurt less if she’d been slapped across the face. She swallowed it down and rested her elbows on the table and put her face in her hands.

After a long time, she said, “I’m suffocating here,” to Joial who had wisely remained silent during the exchange. She knew he knew she was unhappy, but she hadn’t wanted to burden him with it. He’d tried to cheer her up many times, but there was nothing he could do to fix it. This was something she had to solve on her own.

He scooted his chair close to hers and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “I know.” He let a moment pass and kissed her forehead before continuing. “If that’s all it is, then why _not_ join the militia?”

She raised her head to rest her chin on her hands. She’d never told the others about those Starfleet spies, couldn’t without digging up everything else that happened on that mission. And that was a part of her mind that she could never bring herself to open.

“There’s more to it than that.” She heard the plaintive tone to her own voice. “I’ve given my life to Bajor. I’ve given everything. I hate to leave it, but…” She sighed, “I just need to go.”

“Okay. You know you have my support in whatever you choose, for whatever reasons you choose it.” His tone became less serious, “Besides, it sounds like we have at least a few years to get used to the idea.”

“And that long for my mother to try to convince me otherwise.”

“She’ll come around.”

* * *

Joial waited a few days before approaching Jora about Kee’s decision. He wasn’t thrilled about her leaving, but it was clear she wasn’t happy here and hadn’t been all along. All his life he’d hoped for a chance to have an ordinary life where he could settle down with his wife, have children and put his skills to use for some productive task. Kee, on the other hand, had never expressed such a desire. Especially after having lost Traie. Focusing her existence solely on the pursuit of justice for their people.

It was late evening and he found Jora in the doorway of Kee’s bedroom. Kee had fallen asleep, still dressed on top of her bed with a padd in her hand, no doubt already studying those Starfleet prerequisites.

“I don’t want to lose her.” Jora whispered.

“You’re not going to lose her, she’ll just be a little farther away.”

Jora turned away and walked toward the upstairs sitting room. “But Starfleet is so dangerous.”

Joial suppressed a scoff, she had no idea how much Kee had faced, how close she’d come to death or how many times. And Kee wanted to keep it that way. “Trust me, she can handle herself.”

She sat down on a stuffed chair and he joined her in the opposite one. “She shouldn’t have to. She should never have been in that situation in the first place.”

“None of us should have. But that’s the way it was.”

“It was irresponsible of _that Ren_ to turn her into a soldier, she was just a little girl.” She argued, not for the first time.

“He didn’t have much of a choice, she insisted on joining. Flat-out refused anything else.”

“Don’t defend him!” She said, beginning to raise her voice. “He could have said no.”

He looked at her sideways, “Have you met Kee? You know as well as I do that when she puts her mind to something, there’s no talking her out of it.”

“So, now you’re going to blame her?”

He was not going to be baited. “Give her some credit, Jora. I don’t know anyone else who could have done what she did. Can you imagine the courage it took for her to stand up to fifteen seasoned resistance fighters and demand a place among them?” He could see he wasn’t getting through. “She has my admiration, that’s all I can say.”

Jora waved off his statement, as tired as he was of this same argument. “I just don’t understand why she can’t stay and enjoy the life that she worked for. She deserves to have a life.”

“You’ll get no argument there. But doesn’t she deserve to decide what that life will be?”

She finally backed down, but he had no illusions that this was the last time they were going to have this discussion.

* * *

The same chores and duties no longer seemed so disheartening. She felt things again. She was no longer trapped in a bubble, detached from the rest of the world. The flashbacks still happened from time to time, but less frequently than before. She had a goal to focus on again.

With the gray late-winter weather drizzling outside the window, she sat at a table to mend some clothes. Growing up in extreme poverty meant that she’d learned the skill at an early age. By now it took little enough of her attention that she listened to The History of the Federation, one of a long list of reading assignments, while stitching and patching the clothes.

_“…There would no longer be an ill-defended Romulan Empire border; Samuels instead established a neutral zone, where entry by either side would be considered an act of war.”_ The computer’s voice read to her.

_“‘Though the penalty seemed equal to both sides,’ Samuels wrote, ‘in fact, I had succeeded in cutting off the Romulans from the rest of the galaxy.’ He had made Earth the savior of the Alpha Quadrant; the Coalition of planets, because of Earth’s victory, were now protected from the Romulans. It was leverage that Samuels needed not only to rehabilitate his much damaged reputation, but also to close the loophole that had left Earth alone to face the Romulans to begin with._

_“View: Treaty of peace between Romulus and Earth.”_

Kee looked up to note the document on the screen next to her. She’d never given much thought to the founding of the Federation. She supposed she’d imagined it as some kind of series of stuffy committee meetings full of dull proposals and long-winded, monotonous speeches. Instead it was a story of betrayal, cunning and courageous sacrifice. Along with its share of political maneuvering. The existence of the Federation was the result of a series of desperate struggles and very, very stubborn people.

The playback continued when she looked away.

_“The Romulan war had raised Earth’s stature in the Galaxy to heroic proportions, giving the Humans political capital that they intended to spend. Unfortunately, it had been very costly in lives and resources. Nathan Samuels and the United Earth Council knew that despite their success in the war, they were also vulnerable. They could not afford another intergalactic conflict, so every effort needed to be made to protect Earth…”_

She folded the finished piece of clothing and took up the whole stack in her arm to move on to her next task with the padd in hand, still reciting the text to her.

_“… With the exception of the Andorians and Tellarites, the Coalition of planets followed Vulcan’s lead. Although Vulcan had lobbied to keep the Coalition from becoming any kind of military alliance, the war had changed their point of view significantly.”_

* * *

Standing in her bedroom with an open satchel on the bed, Kee looked around uncertainly, eyes resting in turn on each piece of furniture in the room. There wasn’t much to pack, actually. Starfleet would provide all of the clothes she would need. She could, of course, take any civilian clothes with her, but found that there wasn’t anything she really wanted.

As for sentimental items, there just weren’t any. She’d lived life on the run for so long that she never let herself get attached to objects in that way. Even a favored knife or other weapon didn’t evoke any kind of bond since it could have been confiscated by the Cardassians at any time.

Over the last two years, she’d filled every free moment with study preparing for this. Really, she’d expected to have at least one more year, but she’d somehow passed the entrance exams on the first try and now only had a few days to wrap things up before she caught a ride to Earth.

It hit her hard at that moment that she really was leaving everything behind. With a tightness in her chest, she glanced around at the evidence of a life she’d tried and failed to live. Nothing here meant anything to her.

But she had to take _something._

She finally settled on the switchblade she’d had at the end of the Occupation, it really was a sturdy and useful item. She supposed that was as close to a memento she was going to get. A couple of changes of clothes for the trip and a sweater she’d ‘borrowed’ from Joial. It was sloppy and too big on her, but she now claimed it as her own by squatter’s rights. Maybe it would make her feel like home wasn’t so far away.

Part of her wanted to leave right then, not have to sit through one last round of coercion and accusations over dinner. She’d already said her goodbyes to Ren and the others. But she hadn’t said it to Joial, so she’d stay and sit through one more barrage from her mother for his sake.

She quickly zipped the half-full bag closed and slung it over her shoulder. This was what she wanted. The thing that had made her feel alive again after so much nothingness. Standing in the doorway to her bedroom, she imagined a future of hard work and sacrifice with the noble insignia pinned to her chest and smiled through the ache at leaving her world, more certain of her decision even than when she’d joined the Resistance so many years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *The text the computer is reading to Kee comes from "Star Trek Federation: The First 150 Years" an EXCELLENT book!


	2. Cadet

_2372, Starfleet Academy Year 1_

Kee had only a few seconds to catch her breath between the moment one characterless holographic opponent disappeared and the next one materialized.

Her first week on Earth had been filled with a series of aptitude tests to help map out her class load for the next four years. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been working on the Unarmed Hand Combat Placement Test, or even what level she had achieved. She hoped she’d at least reached the intermediate level. In fact, she’d been so utterly focused on her task that she’d almost forgotten about the other cadets scattered throughout the room taking their tests.

This time she heard the sound of the hologram appearing behind her, but before she could turn around, he hit her between the shoulder blades. With holodeck safeties on, the lack of pain was more unnerving than the actual pain would have been. She swung her elbow back to strike him in the face then spun around and kneed him in the side.

As he staggered back without disappearing, a second opponent appeared behind her and she turned and kicked into his chest. By the time she turned back to opponent one, he had begun to recover and she jabbed her elbow into the crook of his neck, then grabbed the back of his head and smashed her knee into his face.

Opponent two grabbed her from behind, wrapping his arms around her for a headlock. Kee positioned her foot behind his, twisted her body so she could reach around behind his back to grab his face with her hand. Then pushed back, tripping him over her foot and slammed him into the mat.

She turned back in time to see opponent one in mid-swing as he punched at her but she deflected it with her forearm. He threw another punch. She leaned to the side to dodge it. As his arm flew past her, she grabbed it and pulled him toward her as she turned her back toward him and jabbed her elbow into his ribs hard enough that they might have broken if he was a real person.

Opponent two wrapped both hands around the back of her neck and pulled her close to him. She grabbed his shoulders with one arm on the outside of his and one on the inside. With her leverage and lower center of gravity she twisted around and flipped him onto his back.

Before she could turn back, opponent one grabbed her from behind around her shoulders. She elbowed the same spot in his ribs and threw him over her head onto opponent two who was finally staying down.

Opponent one sprung quickly back to his feet and immediately charged. She tried to dodge, but he grabbed her arm and spun her around holding her left arm tight behind her back and twisting her right wrist up and behind her head over her shoulder.

Any direction she pulled tightened his grip. With an almost imperceptible movement she shifted her weight to her right foot then reached back with her left and hooked it around his right knee causing it to buckle. As he fell, he pulled her down with him. She landed on her back on top of him smashing his nose with the back of her head.

She rolled off and sprung back to her feet as quickly as her aching muscles would allow. As her opponent got back to his feet she kicked one leg toward his chest but he grabbed her foot before it hit its target. She dropped her hands to the floor so support her and used her free leg to kick his unprotected chest.

As he staggered back, she pressed her advantage and hit him in the jaw with her elbow then the nose with the heel of her hand in rapid succession. With that he dropped to the floor and vanished along with his cohort.

Kee waited for the next one, but instead the computer announced. “Final level passed. No recommended training courses in this area.”

It took a few moments for her to register what the computer had just said. She dropped to her hands and knees to catch her breath and heard a couple of enthusiastic whoops and shouts from around her.

She pushed herself upright to see that the instructors and other cadets had stopped to watch. For how long, she had no idea, she’d been singularly focused on her task. Too exhausted to acknowledge them, she just let her head drop to her chest and worked to bring her breathing under control.

As the other cadets returned to their own placement tests, she saw Commander Baker out of the corner of her eye walking toward her. She forced herself to stand up on shaking legs and squared her shoulders to meet him.

“Nice work, Cadet.” He said when he reached her.

“Thank you.” She said, still breathing hard.

“Report to my office after you’ve hit the sonic shower.” He suggested. “Say, ten minutes?”

“Of course.” She said with more confidence than she felt.

With that he walked away to observe another cadet and she headed toward the locker room. The last thing she wanted to do right now was sit down with an instructor, she wanted nothing more than to lay down somewhere soft with a couple dozen icepacks for her screaming muscles.

* * *

Baker waited for Cadet Norvish at his desk. Precisely ten minutes after he’d spoken to her, she walked in wearing a gray cadet’s uniform with gold shoulders. As sharp as she appeared now, he’d never have thought she’d just completed a grueling two-hour test of physical endurance.

“Come in.” He said.

He hadn’t invited her to sit, so she stood across the desk from him somewhat stiffly. Not quite the Starfleet posture she’d come to learn, but close.

He’d read up on all of the cadets entering the security division, of course, but her file stood out like a blaring klaxon. A former member of a rebellion? Not the type that typically joined up. But with that kind of history at only the age of twenty-one, maybe a fresh start was what she was looking for. The cadet before him certainly didn’t appear any different than the others. And perhaps her former experience could turn out to be advantageous right here and now.

There were areas where her education was still lacking by Federation standards, but it was obvious that she’d worked hard over the last few years to qualify. He looked forward to seeing how she scored in the other areas of the security division.

He got right to his point, “What you did back there was impressive. Only a few cadets pass the UHC Placement Test each year. You must have been a formidable opponent during your time in the Bajoran Underground.”

“I had a good teacher.” She said simply, not giving him anything.

“What I saw was more than just rehashing some trained moves, though. You have excellent improvisation.”

She shrugged off the complement, “Try being my size and standing up to a Cardassian soldier head and shoulders taller and three times your weight. You learn to do what you have to do.”

“I can imagine. I’m looking forward to seeing how you score in other areas.” He said, trying to steer the conversation, he needed to get a feel for this cadet, “Any guess what you’ll rate on energy weapons?”

She began thoughtfully, “I have decent accuracy. I’ve handled Cardassian rifles, of course, as well as Klingon, Breen, Lissepian... a few that I have no idea where they came from.”

“So, if you rate below a type-three phaser rifle, I’ll be disappointed.” He teased.

She laughed, finally beginning to loosen up. “I promise, I won’t. Actually, I have used Starfleet phasers, too.”

He felt his brow crease, “Where did you get Starfleet weaponry?”

She smiled and shrugged slyly, “Our supplier wouldn’t say.”

He made a mental note to look into that later. “I guess that’s acceptable. I assume you’ve handled explosives.”

“Of course. We had to use whatever we could get our hands on: thermolyte, argine/sorium, mooride polyronite b, bilitrium, ultritium resin, cabrodine/infernite, nitrilin micro-explosives, there was once an improvised grenade made out of a plasma infuser and a neurolytic restraint …” She laughed self-consciously.

He whistled, “And you still have your hearing?” He asked, only partly joking.

“I’ve had to have some auditory restoration done, but nothing too bad.”

Still working to steer the conversation, he asked, “I’m curious, how was the command structure of your organization arranged?”

If she was surprised by the questions, she didn’t let on, only giving each one appropriate thought before answering. “Seniority mostly. We had people of all ages with different levels of experience, so seniority was the most reasonable way to do it. Which meant I was on the bottom of the stack for the first two years. But after… some difficulties,” she said cryptically, but shook it off and started again. “As we began to rebuild I found myself training people twice my age. Suddenly I was the one giving orders,” she shook her head, “making life and death decisions for them. It was surreal, at the very least.”

So, she had experience in training recruits as well as in command. He probed a bit further. “Do you see yourself in a command position again in the future?”

She shrugged. “Whatever path my life takes is what I’ll do. All I want is to safeguard the lives of people who can’t defend themselves. To pursue justice wherever I can. What form that takes in my life doesn’t matter. Whether I’m one of a thousand soldiers or in a leadership position, I’ll do whatever I’m called on to do.”

He wasn’t sure how to respond. He flashed back to when he was twenty-one-years-old, he would have been lucky to have such conviction. To be so focused and have such a profound understanding of his own purpose. It certainly would have saved him a lot of trouble. He decided to get to the point of this meeting. “Since you won’t be taking any of the UHC classes, you’ll need to make up those credits somehow.”

“I’m sure I’ll figure it out.” 

“Actually, I was hoping you’d be interested in working for me.” Her eyebrows shot up, but he continued before she could say anything. “You have a knack for fighting techniques that are… outside of Starfleet training. I could use an instructor like that.”

“You want me to teach cadets how to fight dirty?” She said with a laugh.

He joined her with a short laugh of his own. “No, I want you to teach them how to defend themselves when their opponent is fighting dirty. Especially with war on the horizon with either the Klingons or the Dominion, not to mention a host of other organizations that don’t share our war-time ethics. I think understanding these non-Starfleet tactics could be the difference between life and death for our security officers.”

She nodded slowly. “I understand, and agree completely. But I can’t teach a class. I just got here!”

“Ah, but you said yourself that you’ve trained recruits in the past. And we’d start you off with some nice compliant first-year cadets.”

“‘Compliant first year cadets’?!”

“Present company excluded, of course. Besides, it would get you those credits you need, and I’d owe you a favor.”

She pursed her lips for a moment, hesitating. “I guess I don’t have any more excuses.”

“Perfect. I’ll have everything set up for you by the time classes start next week.”

* * *

Maggie balanced a stack of padds in the crook of one arm and maneuvered the strap of her bag back onto her other shoulder after it had slipped down. She slowly walked the length of the seventh-floor dormitory hallway, watching for a door with her name next to it. Other cadets brushed past her on their way to or from something.

She’d arrived two weeks late for the start of classes because she’d been on the USS Archer with her father until it rendezvoused with the Honshu on its way back to Earth. At least she was able to get started on the classwork en-route so she wasn’t behind, but this meant that everyone else had already settled in when she was just now arriving. It didn’t help matters that she’d been picked as one of the team leaders for a group project already. ‘Hit the ground running’ was an understatement.

Finally, she found it.

[_Margret Capshaw/Norvish Keedra_]

Maggie wasn’t sure whether she was relieved or terrified about being roommates with a non-Human. She’d been around non-Humans all her life, so wasn’t worried about that. The problem was she felt clumsy enough around her own people, throw in some cultural differences along with her innate social awkwardness and she was bound to spend a good part of the next year in complete mortification.

Add to that that Cadet Norvish was already a bit infamous around Academy campus. Maggie had heard that she’d actually _turned down_ an offer to join Red Squad.

Red Squad!

Needless to say, Maggie was nervous. She reminded herself that Cadet Norvish had worked hard to be here, she wanted to be here as much as the rest of them, she wasn’t necessarily going to be hard to get along with. And Maggie had done her homework, researching as much as she could about her culture. At least doing research was something of a comfort for her.

She took a deep breath and pushed the door open before she could change her mind and crossed the threshold.

Inside, one side of the room sat empty, the bed neatly made without a single wrinkle. On the other bed she found her new roommate, propped up against the headboard, reading from a padd. To Maggie’s relief, she looked up and smiled warmly.

Maggie dumped her stuff onto the empty bed and turned to greet her. “I’m Maggie.” She said, holding out her right hand.

“Kee.” She said, reaching up to grasp her hand.

“Kee.” She repeated, mind scrambling for what to say next. “I’m guessing that’s short for Keedra?”

Kee raised her palms toward Maggie, “You cracked the code.” She said with a quirky smile.

Maggie felt her cheeks flush, she was not good at this. “Um… well I don’t mean to interrupt your reading.”

Kee picked up the padd again with a sigh, “No, please do. It’s ‘A Brief Account of Andorian History’.” She said flatly.

Maggie smiled, remembering that book. “I remember reading that quite a few years ago.” She turned away to start unpacking her bag. “I had to reread sections over and over because my mind would wander even while my eyes kept moving.”

Kee laughed, “Yeah, that sounds about right.” She tipped her head back to lean it against the wall behind her. “And I have five more of these for Vulcan, Benzite, Betazoid, Tellerite and Bolian histories that I have to finish in the next month.”

Maggie could only shake her head. She at least had never had to read them all in one set, having them, and others, spaced out over her entire childhood. “There must be some way to get through it all.”

“I tried reading it in Federation Standard instead of my native language to see if that would force me to focus, but it was going way too slow.” She shook her head in defeat, “I’ll just have to slog through.”

“How’s that going? Learning Standard, I mean.”

“Speaking it is one thing, learning to read it has been a challenge. It’s very different than what I’m used to. But I have enough of it down to be able to get by for now.”

She could only imagine the difficulty of having to go from a semanto-phonetic language to an alphabetic one. It probably was even harder than her best guess.

“I’ve always wanted to learn Klingon.” Maggie offered.

“I thought about doing Klingon next.” She paused, “You know, other than just the curses.” She said with a laugh.

Maggie finished unpacking her things, still thinking about the group project. She’d heard that Kee had turned down requests to join other teams three times already. If Maggie asked and she said no, that would make this roommate arrangement that much more awkward. But if she said yes… “You’re in Admiral Namimby’s ethics class this quarter, right?”

“Yes.”

“May I ask why you turned down the other teams for the group project?”

She shrugged, “I didn’t feel like their motives and mine were compatible. They seem to be driven by ambition and a desire to be noticed by their superiors.”

That seemed like a strange thing to hear from a Starfleet cadet. “And you’re not?”

Kee leaned forward crisscrossing her legs and put her elbows on her knees. “I’m not out to make a name for myself. I just want to do my job.”

“Is what why you turned down Red Squad?”

Kee’s eyebrows arched and she sat back, “You know about that?”

Maggie laughed, “I think everyone knows about that. They were pretty miffed.”

Color filled her cheeks and Maggie assumed that meant the same thing for Bajorans as it did for Humans. “Yes, that’s exactly why. They strike me as arrogant and pompous, and I don’t need to be part of their clique.”

“‘Clique’? It’s an elite group led by officers.” Maggie couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

Kee concealed a smile by pursing her lips. “Yeah… I’ll keep my opinions about _that_ to myself.”

Maggie couldn’t help but laugh and desperately hope that she could get this person on her team. She sat on her bed to put herself on the same level. “Ok, so I can guarantee that I’m not motivated by ambition, and I don’t think I’m arrogant and pompous. I just really, really want to get a good grade.” Maggie paused, and when Kee didn’t disagree she continued, “I’d love to have you on my team.”

Kee held her gaze for a moment, her pale green eyes steady and thoughtful. Finally, the corners of her lips curled slightly, “Sure, I’ll join your team.”

Maggie resisted the urge to run out to the hallway and exclaim to everyone present that she’d beaten out Red Squad.

Instead she kept herself under check. “Great! I think we’re going to have a great team. I already have Loren Dales, and I’ve also been talking to Jack Higgins and Lweha Esaivex. I’m sure they’ll be onboard as soon as I tell them we have you.”

Whether Kee was out to make a name for herself or not, she already had and while Maggie had been truthful about that not being her primary goal, having her on the team would certainly make a few things easier.

“If you’d like an excuse to take a break from your reading, I’m supposed to meet up with Loren in a few minutes. I’d be happy to introduce you to him.”

“Sure.” She said and together they stood and headed down the hallway toward the gym.

“He’s on the gymnastics team.” She told Kee, “Apparently he’s won some awards for the horizontal bar or something like that.”

* * *

Most people tended to clam up around Kee when they learned about her past, and Maggie definitely seemed like the type to have done her research, so she was certain she knew all about her. And yet, she chatted excitedly the entire walk across campus from their dormitory to the gym.

Kee thought she’d explored the area pretty well in the time she’d been there, but Maggie seemed to know everything about everything as though she’d lived there for years. She didn’t even seem to detect Kee’s automatic habit of spotting cover, vulnerable spots, defensible areas. Kee tried not to obsess about such things, but something deep within her was always set on edge in unfamiliar places.

She’d never heard of something called a ‘horizontal bar’, and wasn’t surprised when they passed the south gym entrance that Kee usually used and continued around to the north side. She hadn’t happened to venture around to the other side just yet, normally sticking to the weight room, sparring arena and workout ring. As she understood it, the north side held areas for indoor team sports and gymnastics.

When they continued inside, she was hit with the familiar scent that she’d come to associate with the gym, a combination of sweat and equipment that wasn’t unpleasant, just unique. Then they passed through another set of doors into a large expansive space with areas designated for different types of activity, most of which were not currently in use.

An outcry of cheers sounded out from a group clustered around the gymnastic equipment and the two women moved closer to see a female cadet was up on a, well, _horizontal bar_, flipping and swinging and twisting in ways that made Kee feel dizzy just watching. She dismounted the bar, turning in midair and landed on her feet.

“I take it that’s the horizontal bar?”

“Yep.” Maggie confirmed as she waved to someone standing on the sidelines cheering his teammate on and she led Kee over to him.

He turned to shout one last encouragement back to the gymnast and started over to meet them halfway.

Kee worked consciously to keep the lustful smirk off her face as she looked him over. He was wearing a pair of loose-fitting pants over a Starfleet-red gymnast uniform that revealed more than an eyeful of defined and contoured muscles across his chest and arms. Despite her frantic grasp to control her reaction, her heart raced as he approached and she felt her body respond automatically to his open smile.

“Maggie, it’s good to finally meet in person.” He said, addressing Kee’s companion first, allowing her to drink in the heady scent of his cologne.

“You too, Loren.” Maggie greeted him back. At least one of them was still able to speak. “This is Kee.” She continued.

He turned his engaging smile on her and her mind went blank.

“Nice you meet you.” He said with easy warmth and held out a hand to her.

She grasped his hand in the customary Human greeting as she scrambled to find something to say other than _uh-bluh_. What was the appropriate response again? What had he said?

“You too.” She finally managed to say when her brain kicked in again, thankful for her years of practice at keeping her emotions from showing through to her face.

What was wrong with her? She’d interacted with plenty of attractive and well-formed men over the past few weeks and never reacted like _this_.

“Kee’s agreed to join our team for the project.” Maggie jumped in.

“Great.” He said, flashing another one of those paralyzing smiles. “Do you want to grab some coffee and go over the plan?”

“You don’t have to stay?” Maggie objected.

“Nah, it’s just practice and I’m done.” He waved it off and, to Kee’s immense relief, he slid a jacket over his arms and shrugged it up onto his shoulders. But it ended up only making him more enticing somehow.

“Okay, then, coffee.” Maggie agreed.

Swallowing her ridiculous responses, Kee walked with them back outside and toward the cadet lounge. Maggie and Loren chatted about their plans for the project which involved an analysis of one of several cross-cultural incidents encountered by Starfleet ships. The two of them were inordinately enthusiastic about digging into ethical dilemmas. It was so very, very Starfleet, and Kee enjoyed every minute of it.

“All of these incidents have been analyzed and reanalyzed over at least the last hundred years. I’d like to find some way to explore the incidents in a way that’s different than what’s been done before.” Maggie said as they retrieved coffee from the replicator.

“I suppose just taking an Andorian or Tellarite point of view would be too obvious.” Loren said, setting his coffee down on a café table.

“Right, that’s been done lots of times.” Maggie said. “Same with any of the non-Federation races directly involved in each conflict.”

“What about non-Federation races that at first look don’t have any relation to the conflict at all.” Kee finally jumped in. “The galaxy is like a spider web, things that Starfleet does, or doesn’t do, have an impact much more far-reaching than most people realize, in cultures that don’t appear to have any direct link to those involved.”

The two Humans fell silent, considering, so Kee gave an example.

“For example, around 2270-ish, the Federation mediated a dispute between the elite class and the miners on Ardana.” She paused to give them a moment to recall the details. “That was all well and good, but the consequences go on. The new joint Ardanan government stopped selling zenite to the Kobliad because of changes to mining practices that reduced their output.” She had, naturally, sided with the miners wholeheartedly when she read the report, but that wasn’t the issue she was pursuing.

“The Kobliad’s ability to produce deuridium to treat its population was severely limited, sending the people into generations of shortages. They eventually turned to the Cardassians to find a substitute. The Cardassians, then, renege on an agreement with the Talarians regarding gallicite trading in favor of obtaining it from the Kobliads who were desperate to make a deal. The effect of that triggered an uprising in which the ruling Talarian monarch was deposed. All because of equal rights for the Ardanan miners.”

Loren’s eyebrows puckered upward in the center ever so slightly as he tracked the information. Something about the look of concentration set her mind reeling again.

Eyebrows? Seriously?

_Since when are eyebrows sexy?_ She demanded, but the part of her that insisted they were had no answer. 

“I hadn’t realized.” Maggie paused thoughtfully. “So, we take these specific incidents and trace them far out into the galaxy.” She said almost gleefully. “I like it.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Maggie excitedly chugged the rest of her coffee, wincing at the heat, and stood. “I’m going to see if I can find Jack and Lweha.” With that she dashed away with PADDs in hand.

“Something tells me I just made more work for us.” Kee mused as they watched her go.

“I think we all made more work for ourselves the moment we agreed to be on her team.” Loren said dryly but with a smirk.

Kee blew a laugh through her nose, “Sounds about right.”

He sat back in his chair, seemingly satisfied that his joke landed. “No more talk about the project, then. We’ll be a meter deep in it soon enough.”

She couldn’t disagree with that. In fact, between classwork, physical training and practice, and actually sleeping once in a while, this may have been the first time since she got here that she had done something that could be considered relaxing.

If he had had another subject in mind when he made his suggestion, though, he didn’t follow through with it and the silence stretched longer than was comfortable. After a quick sip of her coffee, she made an attempt to break the awkwardness, “Maggie said you’re planning to be a pilot.”

He perked up at that a little, “Yes. I mean, I _am_ a pilot, but I want to fly starships.”

“You’ve been doing it for a while?”

“Ever since they would let me.” He said, beginning to recover his confidence. “My first flight was when I was ten, but I was doing the Flotter Flight Simulator in the holodeck as far back as I can remember.”

Kee laughed, “I have no idea what that is.”

He joined in, “It doesn’t matter. Do you fly?”

“I can get a ship to go in the general direction I want it to go.” She said noncommittally, then added quickly. “And I can land.”

He laughed at that, “That’s an important part.”

The silence settled again. She’d been hoping that would carry them farther than it had.

This time he broke the silence. “I guess piloting probably ties in to my other interest.” He gestured to the logo on his jacket that was a simplified version of the Starfleet Academy badge with male and female silhouettes crossing each other in mid-jump.

“Fly through the air versus flying through space?” She presumed.

“Something like that. Formally I think I was five when I started, but I was climbing on jungle gyms and engineering catwalks before that.”

“Not afraid of heights?”

“I don’t remember ever having been. Though, a little fear might have saved me from a few injuries here and there.” He smiled a little, contrary to that memories he must have had in mind.

“Maggie said something about winning awards.”

“Not until a while later. We moved around a lot because my mom’s engineering specialty meant she got reassigned frequently, so I didn’t do much during those first years. Then we settled more or less permanently on Betazed when I was nine and I started competing.”

Without meaning to, Kee did the simple math, he would have been nine-years-old the same year she joined the resistance. The contrast slammed home with the reminder of how different she was from everyone else here. But she shook it off in an instant and tuned back in to what he was saying.

“… been looking forward to working with the team here at The Academy.” He trailed off after a run-on sentence, seeming suddenly self-conscious. “What about you? What do you do for fun?”

She opened her mouth to respond but found she had no answer. There were a lot of things she did, but none of them would be considered fun. She hadn’t thought of her life as dull, not by a long shot, but she really had no answer.

“Um, I guess I… don’t?” She said tentatively. “After the withdrawal, I worked with the relief teams eighteen hours a day, we didn’t have time for anything else but eating and sleeping. After that I worked on repairing my family’s home, which took up all of my time. And once I decided on Starfleet, I had to spend every waking moment that I wasn’t working on the house learning and catching up just to pass the entrance exam. I guess there’s never been time for fun. And I doubt that’s going to change any time soon.”

She suppressed a heavy sigh at the road ahead of her. She was going to be taking a one-hundred-fifty percent workload all of the next four years to be caught up with her peers by graduation.

“I wouldn’t count on that with Maggie as a roomie.” At her arched eyebrows, he explained. “I’ve known people like her. They’re not satisfied with being an overachiever themselves, they have to take everybody along with them.”

Kee chuckled at the non-insult. “Actually, I could probably use some of that.” She said truthfully. She was used to doing things on her own and, before that, taking the lead, but here and now, letting someone else coach her along for a while would be a huge relief.

“Good. Then what would you do with your admittedly limited free time?”

She drew a blank. She knew a surprisingly great deal about construction and restoration, she knew enough about gardening to get by and an unfortunate amount about fishing. But none of that held any interest to her. She figured she’d probably fill any gaps in her time training at the gym, but guessed that wasn’t the kind of answer he was looking for. She settled on “I have no idea.”

“Well, fortunately I’m an expert at wasting time.”

“Why is that fortunate?” She said with a laugh into her half-empty cup.

“You appear to be new to the concept of free time and there are too many options. You can’t afford to blow it on things that aren’t fun. I will be your guide.” He said decisively, but she caught just the edge of a mischievous quirk in his engaging smile.

“My guide to wasting time?” She teased back.

“Exactly.”

She felt herself bite her lip unconsciously for a second. “I guess I can’t pass that up.”

“Good, and I have the perfect first assignment. Barker, Watts and Patton are hosting a movie night tomorrow night.”

Movie nights seemed to be a common pastime around here, she’d been invited to a couple of them by other people, but staring passively at two-dimensional images didn’t sound like something she’d find interesting.

Her disinterest must have peeked through onto her face because he jumped in to say, “It’s not just a movie. They pick really bad movies and then comment on them.”

She stared at him, unconvinced.

“No, really, it’s funny. The movies have bad writing, bad acting, everything’s terrible and Barker, Watts and Patton make jokes through the whole thing.” At her continued lack of enthusiasm, he added, “Just try it once, if you don’t like it, you don’t have to go again.”

“Tomorrow night? If I can get this,” she held up the PADD with her reading assignment on it, “finished by then, you’ve got a deal.” She said, still skeptical.

“I’ll hold you to that, but speaking of wasting time,” he glanced at the chronometer on the PADD, “I’m going to be late to class if I don’t get going.”

It took a conscious effort for her not to watch his backside as he walked away from her. She did not need this, so she did her best to put it out of her mind and picked up the padd to keep reading her Andorian history assignment.

She’d made it less than half a paragraph before a message notification distracted her yet again, but her grumbling was cut short when she saw that it was from Cadda and she thumbed the message open.

A few months before the end of the Occupation, somebody had made an amateur recording of a couple of her songs and it got passed from person to person within the Resistance. By the time the Cardassians withdrew, she was already fairly well-known. It didn’t take long before she put a band together and her popularity soared. Rumor was that even the new First Minister was a fan. Skimming the message, she saw that she had completed the first concert of her tour.

Looking forward to her friend’s infectious enthusiasm, Kee flagged the message to read in detail and reply later and prepared to get back to her reading. As she was settling in to do so, she reached up to rub an itch under her nose and caught the scent of Loren’s cologne. It must have transferred to her when they shook hands earlier. It pulled at her focus, demanding her full attention as she unintentionally breathed deeply.

She shook herself out of it, she could not go down this path again. Never again could she allow herself to be open to that kind of pain. Life in Starfleet was a dangerous thing, she couldn’t risk getting that close to somebody only to have them taken away. Again.

Despite her fierce effort at control, memories of _him_ forced themselves to the surface. She’d flirted with him. Joked with him. Loved him. And in the end, he was brutally torn away from her.

His death was still a livid wound inside her. She’d never managed to move on. Nor did she wish to. There were so few people left that even knew he existed, knew about his bravery and the courageous things he did. So few people that knew about the lives he’d saved or how hard he fought to free their people. Somehow, to move on and leave him in the past seemed demeaning and scornful. He deserved to be remembered as the hero he was, not forgotten by the one person who had loved him most.

Recognizing the downward spiral, she took a slow breath and stuffed everything back into the dark recesses of her mind. In a few days she would begin sessions with a Starfleet counselor. She was both looking forward to and dreading it. However necessary for her mental stability, the process would undoubtedly open up old wounds that she’d carefully hidden away.

Again, she shook herself out of it and finally absorbed herself in the account of Andorian/Vulcan first contact until she found herself holding a cold cup of coffee when someone dropped into the chair across from her. She looked up to see that it was Cadet Tim Watters, again.

“I told you, I’m not joining Red Squad.” She told him, returning her attention to the padd. She was becoming more than a little irritated at his attempts to convince her to join.

“You’re making a mistake.”

She replied without taking her eyes off of the padd even though she wasn’t actually reading it. “And I suppose you’re going to tell me why.”

“Think of how it’ll look on your Starfleet record. Promotions come faster to officers who were members of Red Squad.”

She finally put down her padd. “And I told you that I don’t care about that. I just want to do my job.”

“So, what do you think your _job_ is?” He said in a mocking tone.

“To save lives. No matter my position or rank.”

“Red Squad can help you do that better!” He seemed pleased with himself for making what he thought was an irrefutable point.

“How?” She said, already knowing his answer.

“With real-world training. Special combat simulations.”

She leaned forward with a smirk on her lips, “You do understand I actually _have_ real-world combat experience, don’t you?” She pushed it farther, digging into that dark place inside her and looked straight into his eyes, “I know what it’s like to point a gun at a living being and pull the trigger. Do you? I know what it’s like to slide a knife across your enemy’s throat and watch the life drain from his eyes. Do your _simulations_ teach you that?” She’d meant to shock him into backing down, but he seemed more excited than ever.

“And that’s why we need you! You know what it’s really like!”

“Ah! So now we know the real reason you want me to join you. It’s not for me, it’s for you.”

“I’ll admit that the rest of us would benefit from your experience.” He leaned across the table between them and lowered his voice. “And it would benefit you not to refuse our offer. You’re a first-year cadet, you have a lot of years ahead of you here, things can be very easy for you or very difficult.”

Without meaning to she let out a short burst of laughter, “Are you threatening me?”

“Not at all.” He leaned back in his chair, clearly proud of himself.

She lowered her voice again. “I withstood Cardassian torture, you don’t intimidate me.” With that she picked up the padd again and tried again to read.

He stood up and towered over her. “This is your last chance, we won’t ask again.”

“Oh please let that be true.” She said, looking up at him with the sweetest smile she could manage. He turned and marched away, shoving another cadet out of the way. Kee sighed and finally, began to read again.

* * *

“… at least I didn’t have to do it up close.” Kee had just finished describing to Counsellor Solot her first mission with the Resistance, the first time she’d killed. It didn’t come easily, she’d never talked about it before. Ren had been there, he knew, and he was the only one that mattered, so there was no need to tell anybody else. But this was supposed to be for her own good so she trudged onward.

“Do you think it made it easier than it would have been if it had happened at close range?” He asked evenly. She’d specifically chosen a Vulcan as a counsellor so that he wouldn’t become caught up in the emotions of her past. She didn’t need or want pity. The lack of emotion was a little unnerving but also freeing.

She tucked her legs under each other in a cross-legged position on his couch, fully aware that he was analyzing her posture as much as her words, and cradled the warm coffee cup in her hands while she turned his question over in her mind.

“I wouldn’t say ‘easier’. ‘Less hard’, maybe.” It may not make grammatical sense, but it was the best she could describe it. She’d known people whose first kill was up close and personal, intimate, and she was sure that was harder than pulling a trigger from a distance.

Solot only nodded slightly in a non-Vulcan gesture he probably used to put his patients at ease. Though, his next question did the opposite. “Tell me about the Joralla Massacres.”

Her entire body tensed in an instant. One of the worst experiences of her time with the Resistance. So many of her comrades, dead, right in front of her. So suddenly. So much blood and slaughter. People that deserved to be alive now. The images flooded into her mind with such force, she struggled to push them back down.

She stared into the light brown liquid in her cup, willing herself to be able to speak. “We, um, had made camp for the night.” She failed to keep the quake out of her voice. “Everything seemed normal.” Oardoli had sat behind her to braid her hair like she sometimes did while others tried to best each other with eerie stories of _borhyas_, the _Saakroth_ and other creatures. She squeezed her eyes shut as if she could physically push the scene away.

“The Cardassians were on us in seconds. A skimmer sped in and beamed troops down all around us. They knew exactly how to find us.” Sticking to the hard facts of the incident was the only way she could get through it. “They took out three people before we even knew what was happening.”

She had to clear her tight throat just to continue. “We fought, hard, for hours, but our leader finally gave the order to retreat and meet up at a designated location. In the end, only five of us made it out.”

They’d lost people before that, she’d known that any moment could be the last, but losing so many so fast had been a painfully jarring experience that she rarely allowed into her conscious mind.

With little reaction, he continued asking her pointed questions about specific events in her past. Things she didn’t know were on record anywhere. Things she had avoided thinking about for fear of the same overwhelmingly painful feelings that twisted her stomach and felt like they would crush her heart.

His questions cut her to the core and she struggled to keep the horrors of her past in check. She gripped the empty coffee cup like it was her lifeline.

“We were arrested together, but I was the one they wanted. I had the information they were after.” Even years later, this was one of the most difficult incidents to recall and she had to fight hard to keep from breaking down. “It had nothing to do with him, he just happened to be the one with me, but he paid the price.”

Ilwea’s injuries had been terrible, all they could do at the time was keep him alive. Even now, he was severely handicapped. The nerve damage was so extreme that even Federation medicine couldn’t restore what he’d lost because of her. And now here she was in perfect health while he struggled just to walk or pick up a utensil.

“I know that there was nothing I could have done different. If I had given them the information, it would have meant much worse for many more people, and it wouldn’t have stopped what was happening anyway.” She parroted the rationalization that Ren had drilled into her, but the words meant nothing to the ache inside her.

Fortunately, Solot didn’t probe deeper into it. For that matter, he’d taken her shallow narratives as they were without pressing for more of anything.

“I have asked you about a lot of difficult incidents. The purpose of doing so was so that I can assess your coping method. When recalling something painful, you have an initially visceral response, then you remove the feeling from your conscious mind, probably with the use of mental imagery, then you share only the most bare, emotionless facts.”

She had to admit it rattled her a bit to be read so easily.

“This type of coping is typical in cases like yours where the mind cannot endure what has happened.” He continued. “What we will endeavor to do during our sessions, will be to unlearn this unhealthy coping mechanism and learn to work through the grief and accept the memories as your own rather than ignoring them.”

Simple, clinical, right to the point. It was exactly what she expected from a Vulcan, what she needed. But she wasn’t sure if she could do it.

“You must learn to live with the feelings, to allow them to become part of you again. No matter how painful.”

A daunting task.

“We’ll end each session with a Vulcan meditation technique. You will also practice it morning and evening every day. As you go about your days and these feelings surface, you must not retreat into your old coping method. Wherever you are when it happens, excuse yourself and take a few minutes to meditate.”

Evidently, her days of packing down the feelings and moving on were over. She only nodded, already her emotions were too raw to reply.

“Place your hands in your lap as so.” He interlaced his fingers, steepling is index fingers and she copied his example. “Envision your breath inside of you.”

Her eyes automatically closed and she focused on her breath. Slow and even. The memories and anguish like phantoms churned around that small calm space like the eye of a storm.

“Expand the quiet place that is your breath.” He said, seeming to know exactly what imagery her mind had supplied. “The calmness continues to grow until it encompasses your entire body. Everything you’ve felt during this session remains outside until you choose to call on it.”

She sat like that, breathing slowly for some undetermined length of time. It was the most peace she’d felt in her entire life and wanted to stay there forever. Finally, she opened her eyes and took a deep breath as though coming out of a trance and found that the peace was still there. For the time being at least. Some of the heartache she’d buried deep within her was too terrible to open up. Ever. No matter what they accomplished in this office, she would always be broken inside.


	3. Courageous or Foolish?

_STARFLEET: 2372, YEAR 1, KEE: 21_

Kee stood around in a dank, musty cavern. Some cadets from the engineering track were working to restore a network of underground tunnels under the city of Seattle. This was not included in the brief Earth history she’d read, so one of the engineers, Eric Morgan, chatted to her about the history of these passages.

She learned that the city was only something like 600 years old, which on Earth was considered quite old. At some point in its history the city had suffered some kind of disaster, at which time it was decided to rebuild above the original street level leaving old sidewalks and building fronts facing eerie, underground tunnels. Then, after the damage that occurred during World War III, the streets were raised once again creating a second set of tunnels.

Over the centuries the soft ground continued to settle and sink, making the passages dangerous and unstable. Since they held historical value, filling them in or demolishing them was not considered an option. So, restoration efforts had to be carried out over and over to maintain the network.

That’s where the engineering cadets came in. They were working in the lowest level on removing old restoration equipment to install the new stuff and they’d requested some security cadets to assist them. They had already set up a temporary support system and were currently removing an old 22nd century monitoring unit that used an obsolete uranium power cell. Or so Morgan told her.

Along with the other security cadets Cain and Adachi, Kee helped maneuver heavy items out of and into place, handed tools to the engineers and kept an eye out for safety. Most of that left her mind free to wander. Parts of the tunnels had sunk more than others and there were places where stairs and ladders had to be used where the path had originally been flat. Arched doorways led to abandoned and often collapsed building interiors. She took a moment to appreciate the mason work. It wasn’t elaborate but, unlike modern building methods, each and every brick had been set in place by hand. Every layer of mortar had been spread by a real person long ago.

_“Hey, we could use a little muscle up here.”_ Hill’s voice came over the comm. She was the other engineer cadet in the upper section with Adachi.

“On our way.” Cain responded and nudged Kee’s shoulder with the back of his hand.

Kee followed him up a steep ramp then a ladder through a small opening to the upper underground level where they found Hill and Adachi waiting next to a large section of the temporary support system. The three security cadets lifted the crisscrossed beams into place while Hill worked underneath to secure the new section to the rest of it. It was heavy and her muscles strained to hold it steady. This was the third one like it today.

“Ok, you can let go.” Hill finally said after what seemed like forever.

Kee and the others let out a collective breath and leaned up against the structure.

“I think she likes to take her sweet time just to make us suffer.” Cain complained.

Hill whistled softly, feigning guilt and pretended to ignore them. The security cadets chuckled and Kee made a move to return to the other group below. Suddenly there was an odd cracking and grinding sound and the floor began to move like it was floating on top of water. Then it buckled on one side and slanted down just as the opening to the lower section collapsed and debris tumbled over it.

The whole thing only took a few seconds. Before the dust had settled, Kee’s hand was already on her combadge, “Morgan! Woelk! Are you guys ok?” Silence.

As she continued to try to contact them, Hill pulled out a tricorder to scan the section below and Adachi tapped his combadge to call for help. “This is team five, we have a tunnel collapse in section 5-8-1…”

Morgan finally responded to Kee, “I’m here.” His voice sounded strained like he was injured. _“I’m trapped. Woelk is either unconscious or dead, I can’t tell. And it looks like there’s damage to the unit we were working on.”_

“Stand by, we’ll get you out.” She told him then turned to Hill.

“There’s too much interference to beam them out. If the power cell in that unit was damaged, it’ll be leaking radiation.” Hill studied the readings on her tricorder, but shook her head, “There are some openings in the debris that came down, but nothing big enough for us to fit through. They’re sealed in.”

Cain looked over her shoulder, “What about that one.” He asked, indicating a slightly jagged route that the computer had highlighted.

“It’s less than ten centimeters high.” Hill argued.

“I can fit.” Kee volunteered.

“No, it’s unstable. If it shifts again, you’d be crushed.”

“I’ll take the risk.” Kee insisted.

Hill shook her head but turned to grab the emergency med kit, “I don’t like this.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t either.” She assured her. “But we’ve got to get to them.”

Hill reluctantly rummaged around in the med kit for a few moments before holding up a hypospray. “You’ll need a dose of hyronalin before you go down there.” She pressed the hypo to Kee’s neck. “I’ve loaded two more for them.” She snapped the med kit closed.

Kee walked along the rubble and found the opening the tricorder had indicated. There wasn’t much to it, just a slightly wider place among the broken slabs of concrete, asphalt, twisted rebar and old, mangled copper pipes. Inside was only blackness. And it smelled faintly of stale seawater. Her initial instinct to recoil was immediately overridden by the sound of Morgan’s voice still ringing in her ears. He was injured and pinned, she had to get to him.

Once she had climbed part way inside, she turned and took the med kit from Hill, then slid herself inside. The passageway was rough and irregular, she had to keep twisting her body to squeeze through the gap. Her legs were nearly useless since she couldn’t bend her knees, she could only push herself onward with her hands and scoot her back along a centimeter at a time.

She forced herself to breathe slowly and relax, getting tensed up would only make it harder for her to move. The debris above her was barely beyond the tip of her nose in some places and she fought to ignore the panic that was creeping up her shoulders.

Without warning something shifted minutely above her, raining dirt and small pebbles into her face. Then the entire tangle of rubble moved to the side with a horribly loud scraping sound. Kee sucked in a breath and turned her face away, expecting to be crushed.

When it stopped, she opened her eyes, but the passage was too tight even to turn her head forward again. Jagged pieces pressed in around her and there was a sharp pain in her ankle. She moved each of her limbs and torso to test.

_“Still with us, Norv?”_ Adachi’s tight voice came over her combadge.

“Yeah.” She managed to say, “But I think my ankle’s pinned.”

When she tried moving her left leg, pain shot up from her ankle. Steeling herself against the pain, she wiggled her foot back and forth until it seemed to make some progress. “I think I can get it.” She continued the movement even as she felt something sharp cutting across the front of her foot. Some pained sounds escaped as she worked, but she kept going.

Finally, her leg was free and the pain diminished slightly, replaced by the distinct feeling of blood seeping across her skin.

She continued shuffling her way downward. “I’m moving forward again.”

_“It’s tighter than before, but you’re better off moving forward than coming back.”_ Adachi informed her.

In the even tighter space, unidentifiable rough and sharp things scraped against her back and chest. Finally, her feet emerged into emptiness, then her legs. Once her hips were free, she contorted her lower half until she could find something to brace her heels on and squirmed the rest of her body out.

“I’m through.” She said to the open comm, “I see them.”

Woelk was lying flat on his face near the old monitoring unit that had been partially crushed by a stone beam. Morgan was conscious, but trapped under a tumble of debris. Kee picked her way down a loose mixture of broken concrete, bricks and twisted metal to reach them.

“Check Woelk first!” Morgan called to her.

Kee pulled out the tricorder from the med kit as she hurried over to him. She dropped hard on her knees next to him and passed the tricorder’s probe across his body. “He’s alive.” She confirmed with relief. “Took a nasty dose of radiation, but other than that he’s uninjured.” She closed the tricorder and rolled him over onto his back, revealing radiation burns on his face and hands. Kee pressed one of the prepared hyposprays to his neck, then hurried over to check Morgan.

“You’re bleeding!” He exclaimed, pointing to the blood that had soaked through her gray pant leg.

“It’s just a scratch.” She dismissed his concern as she knelt down and began scanning him. “You’ve got a mild concussion, no internal bleeding, right arm’s broken, dislocated hip, a cracked kneecap,” her shoulders sagged at the next line. “And a compound fracture of the tibia.” She summarized. “I hate those.” She muttered under her breath while she dosed him with the final hypospray. Then said louder, “The blood loss is very slow, though, so you should be ok for a while longer.”

“We need to get that radiation leak under control. I can walk you through it.” He said weakly. “So to speak.”

As Kee moved toward the damaged unit she let out a breath, she’d rather deal with the compound fracture than a piece of machinery. It had been well established during the last six months that she had zero engineering skills. She could repeat what she’d been taught and she understood the basic concepts, but going into unfamiliar technology without any experience was intimidating at the least.

“You’re not going to lose consciousness on me, are you?” She called back to him.

“I’ll do my best.” Once she had retrieved the tool kit he began, “First you need to shunt power from the HNS relay to the backup KRL interface, then…”

“Whoa, whoa! Slow down.” She picked up the appropriate tool.

She’d completed a basic engineering course so far this year and concentrated on what she’d learned. Morgan started over again and walked her through each step of the process more slowly. Some of the things he had her do didn’t seem to have any purpose until suddenly the entire unit shut down.

She picked up the tricorder and scanned it to confirm that the radiation leak had been sealed and the power cell was inactive, but it would still take time for the radiation to dissipate enough to be transported out.

As she moved back over to Morgan she took a peek at Woelk, he was breathing but hadn’t begun to wake. Kee scanned Morgan with the medical tricorder again to confirm he had not worsened. “Hill, is this wall stable enough for me to move the debris off of him?” She asked.

“It is for now, but I’ll keep an active scan on it as you go.” She said while urgent voices overlapped in the background. An emergency crew must have arrived.

Kee began pulling pieces off of the pile, watching the rest of it for movement as well as Morgan’s face for pain. She cleared away everything on top of a large chunk of concrete, which looked like it was the main culprit holding him in place.

Pressing her back against it and gripping the lower edge with her fingers she told him, “This is probably going to hurt.” At his nod, she lifted with her legs and raised it just a few centimeters.

Morgan grunted painfully, but slid himself out from under before her strength gave out and she allowed it to drop with a thud.

The compound fracture was visible now and Kee bent down to tear his pant leg away from it, avoiding the gruesome injury as best she could. Human blood was a brighter shade of red than she was used to, but it was the broken white bone visible through torn flesh that nearly made her gag. She’d seen plenty of injuries like this before, but could never get used to it.

She opened up the med kit again and inserted a vial into the hypospray that would sanitize the wound and reduce the pain. She injected it into his leg just above the break, then wrapped it with a compression splint, eternally grateful for Starfleet medical supplies, and pulled a second splint out of the kit. 

“I can’t do anything about your hip.” She said by way of an apology as she wrapped his arm.

“It’s alright. I’m glad you’re here.” He said weakly, already beginning to succumb to the painkiller.

“Just doing my job.” She smiled at him, then returned to Woelk who had begun to stir.

He finally opened his eyes, “What happened?”

“This part of the tunnels collapsed and you caught some radiation when the unit was damaged. But you’ll be alright.” She looked up at the crumbling and deformed ceiling. “As long as this place doesn’t come down on us before they can beam us out.”

Woelk sat up and continued to blink himself back into consciousness.

“Any idea how long it’ll take for the radiation to dissipate?” Kee asked the engineers.

“Maybe be a couple of hours.” Morgan said.

Kee sighed. A couple of hours… could be worse. Then she realized it was worse. Water was seeping up from the bottom slope of the hill.

“Guys, there’s water coming in!” She called through the comm as she knelt down to prepare to pull Morgan away.

After a long pause, Hill responded. _“The tide’s coming in. Looks like the tunnel slipped below the tideline, you’d better get to higher ground.”_ Hill said.

“How high is it going to get?”

_“Let’s see, you’re on the western end of the block, you need to go to the north side and all the way up to the eastern side which is not much below its original elevation.”_

Kee peered down to the north-west corner of the block. In the first level of the underground, each city block was completely closed off from the others. She hoped to the Prophets that the east side of this block was still high enough.

“Come on, let’s go.” She said, hoisting Moran’s arm over her shoulder and lifting him to his feet.

Woelk pushed himself up off the ground and shuffled ahead of her, but stopped when he turned the corner. When she reached him, she found out why, what was left of what had once been a relatively level floor was now a pile of rubble that went up at least five meters by the end of the block. It would be a hard climb in Morgan’s condition, but water was coming in fast.

She waited while Woelk clambered slowly across the rubble, then lifted and supported Morgan as he limped painfully across. They reached a smooth place and ambled along to another length of ruins.

Woelk started to climb but Morgan stopped. “I can’t do it.”

“You have to.” Kee said gently. “We need to get above the tideline.”

He let go of her shoulder and slid down to sit on the floor. “I can’t do this.” He repeated, “It hurts so bad, I feel like I’m going to pass out.” She could give him more pain killers, but that might knock him out and she’d have to carry him.

Kee nodded to Woelk to keep going then sat down next to him and thought about pointing out that the water coming toward them was salt water and it would hurt a lot worse when it reached his leg, but decided on a different tactic.

“I wonder why this ground is so unstable.” She mused.

The engineer in him got the better of him even through the haze of pain and medication, “A lot of the city was built on unstable fill. They’ve had problems with slides for centuries.”

“Oh yeah?” Kee maneuvered herself under his left side again and hauled him back to his feet. “It’s a wonder the buildings are still standing.”

“Ever since the early 22nd century all new buildings were required to have titanium-reinforced foundations that reach all the way to the bedrock.” He told her, slightly slurring his words, as they began their ascent again.

“The current streets are supported independently, too. The whole hillside could slip away into the sound and it would all be left still standing.”

He continued to describe the details of building structures and the numerous earthquakes to hit the region over the years. After a while it became harder and harder for him to both talk and climb. Eventually he fell silent except for strained grunts of exertion or pain.

Finally, they reached the east side of the block and Hill’s voice came over the comm again, “You’re high enough.”

Kee laid Morgan down gently then straightened up to stretch her back.

Woelk had essentially collapsed, exhausted from radiation sickness.

Morgan rolled onto his back, “I don’t have that kind and a lot to be a great way.” He mumbled to no one in particular.

Kee immediately pulled out the tricorder and passed the probe over his head. “That’s what head trauma sounds like.” She muttered to herself while waiting for the results. A moment later the tricorder confirmed her suspicions, his concussion was worse than it had looked initially. “Hill, are you making progress up there?”

_“Stand by.”_

‘Stand by’ was not what she wanted to hear. She had one engineer with radiation burns, one with head trauma and numerous broken bones, and a tunnel that could slide again at any moment. She could not stand by.

She began pacing. The ceiling here was a lot higher than in other places, suggesting that while the floor had slipped, the ceiling had not.

_“Norv, we have a shuttle in place over you, they’re going to use a tractor beam to stabilize the upper tunnel while we dig down to you.”_

“Confirmed.” She said with relief and pulled out the tricorder again to estimate where they might break through.

It looked like they were working on a section that had crumbled in a previous slide and was likely more stable than the rest of it. Kee looked around for something to climb on. She spotted a large piece of intact masonry and maneuvered it into place directly under the place the rescuers would emerge. Climbing on top of the wobbly brickwork with her heart pounding she reached up and began pulling away pieces of debris, checking with her tricorder from time to time to ensure she wasn’t making matters worse.

She had created a substantial pile when she began to see light coming through. A few more minutes of digging and she could feel fresh air on her face, then one last chunk of stone was pulled aside and a bright light shone in her eyes.

“Back up, we’re sending something through.” A voice she didn’t recognize called to her.

As soon as she backed down onto the floor a rescue basket was pushed through the opening. Kee went to Morgan, who was completely delirious at that point, but she lugged him up over her shoulder and maneuvered him down into the basket. “He’s ready!” She called, then guided it as it was pulled back into the opening.

The basket returned and she helped Woelk into it. As she watched him disappear into the opening she breathed a heavy sigh and rubbed her face with dirty hands before following him through.


	4. Go Forward or Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode reference: DS9 Accession

_2372, Starfleet Academy Year 1_

“No! Absolutely not!” Kee shouted at her mother, Jora, through the comm while Maggie did her best not to eavesdrop.

_“What do you mean ‘no’? This is not a debate, Keedra.”_ Her mother said, _“You have to come home.”_

Maggie saw Kee tap her foot a few times on the floor, struggling to keep calm. “I’m not going to quit.”

_“You don’t have a choice. And it’s just as well, now you can give up on,”_ Jora paused, evidently gesturing in some way, _“…on this fantasy. You belong on Bajor with the rest of us.”_

“I’m staying. Period.”

There was a long pause, Maggie hadn’t been able to follow much of what they were talking about. Not that she was eavesdropping.

Finally, Jora spoke again in that ‘mom’ voice and even Maggie knew well enough that it would only push Kee to dig in harder. _“Keedra, this is not a request, it’s not optional. This is a direct order from the Emissary.”_

“Frak the Emissary!”

Kee’s mother gasped loud enough for Maggie to hear, _“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”_

Kee pointed at her mother’s image on the screen, “You don’t like this any more than I do!”

_“I’m already following our d’jarra.”_

“You don’t want to be stuck doing that for the rest of your life. I know you don’t.”

_“That doesn’t matter anymore now, does it?”_

“Yes! It does!”

_“I expect you to be home within the month.”_ After that Maggie heard the transmission blink off.

Kee picked up the nearest padd and threw it across the room where it shattered against the wall.

“Sorry.” She took a few breaths, “I think that was mine.” She said then buried her face in her hands.

Maggie had witnessed a few arguments between Kee and her mother, but none this heated. She wasn’t even quite sure what was going on. She rolled the desk chair she was sitting on nearer to Kee.

When Kee raised her head, she looked decidedly less certain than she had a moment ago. “I don’t want to resign. I don’t want to go home. But I’ll have to.”

“Why?” Maggie said as gently as she could.

“I-” She sighed heavily. “I don’t know if you’ll understand.” After searching for the right words, they all flooded out. “The Emissary stepped down and the new Emissary, which I can’t even make sense of, believes that the Prophets want him to take us back to the old ways, which include the d’jarras, a caste system. I would be forbidden to serve in a military organization. I would have to go home. I would be locked into the line of work my family has done for generations.” She let out a frustrated sound and stood up to pace a few steps.

“And they expect you to just give up everything you’ve worked for?”

“I don’t have a choice.”

“What happens if you don’t go?”

Kee took a deep breath and pursed her lips, “Exile.”

Maggie watched emotions fight for expression on her face. The absurdity of it. Kee had worked so hard to be here, and continued to work hard. For all of that to be thrown away because some self-righteous religious leader decided to implement some old tradition?

Maggie stood up, defiance on her friend’s behalf bubbling to the surface. “They have no right to make you do this! They can’t force you!”

Kee looked up at her with a small but amused smile, “That’s a very Human thing to say.”

Maggie could see she wasn’t helping the matter, so she let it drop. “I’m sorry. How much time do you have to make your decision?”

“I’m not sure, it depends on how fast things on Bajor develop.”

* * *

“How does he think he can just show up and dictate to us what we can and can’t do? He wasn’t there for the past fifty years, he doesn’t know!” She vented, not expecting or needing a response from Solot. “He shows up, takes over the title and we’re all supposed to abandon everything we’ve worked for? The d’jarras were a bad practice in the first place, they kept my people from moving forward for a thousand years. And everyone’s just going along with it! We fought and prayed for freedom and we’re willing to give it up just like that for a repressive social structure because somebody showed up claiming to be the true Emissary?” She didn’t add the final snub that she would be considered illegitimate because her parents were not from the same class.

“I don’t want to go back to that life.” She sighed heavily at the despairing thought. “But if I don’t, I’ll be expelled from the world I fought and bled for. But I can’t throw away the last three years of my life.”

She paced forcefully through Solot’s office as his eyes tracked her passively. She didn’t even care that he was analyzing her every step, she’d repeated the arguments over and over in her mind and needed someone else to hear them. Her requests to speak to Ren weren’t getting through, it seemed that Bajor had already begun to isolate itself.

“What do you wish to do?”

She dropped down onto the couch with an aggravated sigh, why did he have to be such a counselor? “I don’t know.” When he didn’t offer anything more, she continued. “I don’t want to go home. I don’t want to be stuck there again in that life.” That useless, bleak life. Just the thought of it weighed down her chest. “But to never go home again?” Her throat squeezed tight so that the last words were barely audible.

“The future you wish to create means abandoning the past that created you.” He stated in his calm manner.

That was it, exactly. Bajor was not her future, but it was a cherished part of her past, not to be thrown away, but not to tie her down either.

She sighed, as insightful as it was, it didn’t give her an answer.

“Have you meditated on this?”

She sagged into the back of the couch. “I tried, but I’ve been too agitated. I can’t focus.”

He steepled his hands in his lap so automatically, it must have been a constant habit. “Envision your breath inside of you.” He said as he always did.

Reluctantly, she sat up and followed his guidance, placing her hands in her lap and turning her attention inward to her breathing.

“Expand the quiet place that is your breath.” He said. “The calmness continues to grow until it encompasses your entire body.”

He allowed her to remain suspended in the quiet place for an extended time. Thoughts of her future, her anger at being controlled, her fear at what this could mean for her planet’s future all at war with her stillness. It was no passive meditation.

“Allow the question to enter your space: Do you wish to remain in Starfleet?”

As much as her heart broke, she heard herself answer, “Yes.” Her eyes drifted open, but she only stared at her hands loosely interlaced in her lap.

There was her answer. And somewhere inside her, she knew it was the right one. She treasured her world and the people on it that she’d been willing to die for, but to choose between them and Starfleet, this was the only option she could take.

“How do you feel about your choice?”

She searched for an answer. “I don’t know yet.” She said truthfully with a hollowness inside. She’d have to live with it for a while before she knew. “Can we talk about something else?” She asked, knowing he would allow her to guide the process.

“Of course.” He said simply. “Have you had an opportunity to share with your friends?”

She slumped back into the couch, that wasn’t the topic she’d had in mind. In her last session, he’d suggested to her that she open up to her friends about her past. That talking about it would help her cope.

Had she had opportunity? Yes, but not the courage. Anything she could share about her past was dreary at best, horrifying at the worst. Talk to them about being tortured? About coming upon the slaughter in the town of Hegasa? About constantly fleeing for her life amid the ever-present threat of starvation? She couldn’t bring herself to do it.

What had happened to her? She had once been strong, confident. Doing what needed to be done with no thought about what others might think. She faced the worst of hardships, fear, gore, horror and so much more, but now she shrank from doing something as simple as sharing her feelings?

He took her silence as the answer it was. “What keeps you from sharing?”

She stared at the subtle geometric pattern on the ceiling with her head resting on the cushions behind her, “I guess I don’t want them to see me that way. They know who I am here and now. They’re all born and raised in Starfleet, they’re so perfect, uncorrupted. They all know a little bit about my past, but even their best guess wouldn’t come close to the reality.”

“You’re afraid that if they see the real you, they would reject her.”

“I guess so.” She pushed herself forward and leaned her elbows on her knees. “I’m guilty of things that would horrify even seasoned officers. The only reason I’m here and not in prison is because the Federation gave us a pass.”

“You are not in prison because the Federation recognized that it was a time of war. You are here because you have the potential to be a valued member of Starfleet.” He corrected gently. “Concealing your personal history will only serve to isolate you from your friends. If the woman they think they know is not the woman you really are, are they truly friends?”

_No._ But she didn’t need to say it.

“You do not need to share every detail, only enough for them to know you for the whole of who you are. They will accept it or not. If not, you needn’t spend any more energy pursuing their friendship.”

* * *

The next week or so passed in a fog. Despite her decision, Kee’s thoughts wavered between the two options in front of her: return home forever to a life that she couldn’t bear or never return at all. Commander Baker had offered her time off, but the last thing she needed was more time to fret about it. Her salvation had come with a single-sentence message from her mother. The true Emissary had reasserted himself and assured her people that the Prophets had no intention of forcing them to return to their d’jarras.

A huge weight had been immediately lifted.

When Maggie heard the news, she gleefully pulled out a bottle of nail polish to ‘celebrate’. She was so sweet about it that Kee couldn’t bring herself to refuse and currently had her fingers spread out on a desktop in front of her. “You do understand that I have to take this off in the morning.”

“Why?” She said with a disappointed furrow to her brow.

Kee had to remind herself not to gesture with her hands. “I’m in security… do you know what the other cadets would say if I show up to class with pink sparkly nail polish?” She said with a laugh. “I’d never live it down!”

Maggie giggled and nodded, bouncing her curly hair. “I guess you’re right.”

Kee watched her carefully apply the color to her fingers. It looked strange on her short-clipped nails.

When Maggie spoke again, she didn’t look up and her voice was soft. “Um, you were talking in your sleep again last night.”

Kee felt her back stiffen immediately. What had she been dreaming about?

Blood poured over her hand from his neck wound. ‘I’m sorry.’ She sobbed… Her hands were shackled to a cable attached to a spike sunk into the ground… Rain soaked through her clothes and dripped off the tip of her nose… She ducked her head as explosions showered shrapnel and fire over her… Someone grabbed her shoulders….

She shook the memory out of her mind. “Sorry. I hope I didn’t bother you.”

“No. It’s ok. It’s just that you talking about someone named Nin?”

Her instinct was to brush it off, but Solot’s directions stopped her.

“We grew up together, he had joined the resistance with me.” That wasn’t so bad, was it? She stared at her fingers as the memory forced its way to her attention.

She and Nin had been sent to the outskirts of one of the towns to meet a contact for supplies. She felt so vulnerable without the others, without Ren. She hadn’t been far from his side for more than a few minutes during the last year. Before they could get to their meeting place a Cardassian patrol had come upon them. She found out later that their scattering field had malfunctioned and they showed up on sensors. They’d tried telling the Cardassians that they were just kids that had gotten lost, but their phaser rifles told a different story. A thumbscan gave away their identities anyway.

Kee stood facing Nin. Each of them was being held in place by a Cardassian soldier while several others spoke in a small cluster a short distance away. As they walked back to them, one of them, the glinn, looked both of them over and motioned to Nin, “We won’t need that one.”

Immediately the soldier holding Nin pulled a knife out of his armor and slid it across Nin’s neck.

“No!” Kee screamed as Nin fell to the ground. She wrestled herself from the grasp of the one holding her and rushed to Nin’s side. She covered the wound on his neck with her hand, trying to stop the bleeding, but blood poured between her fingers. His blood felt hot on her cold hand and it came in pulses. His mouth gaped and his eyes were wide but still focused. “No.” she repeated between sobs. His eyes began to glaze over. “I’m sorry.” The blood began to slow down. “I’m sorry.” She repeated. His body went limp and his eyes fixed. She felt two more weak heartbeats, then nothing.

The Cardassians didn’t give her a chance to weep, they grabbed her and roughly pulled her away. As her tears flowed they bound her wrists in front of her and shoved her away from the scene. One of them behind her asked his superior, “Sir, should we dispose of the body?”

“No, the wild animals will take care of it.” He said indifferently.

As they marched her through the forest, one of them turned to him, “What shall we do with this one after we’re done with her? Take her to the training facility?” He asked, referring to the place where they took girls her age to be trained to become comfort women.

The glinn considered it for a moment, “No, she’s likely been ruined by the rebels, she’d never be retrained.”

“To the other facility, then?”

She knew what “other” facility he was talking about. The one where they sometimes sent female resistance fighters who’d been captured to be locked up and made available to any Cardassian soldier. She’d die before going there.

The glinn nodded, “If she survives, you can take her there yourself.”

The one who’d made the suggestion turned and gave her a sickening smile that turned her stomach. They marched her through the forest to a clearing that was partially surrounded by a rocky bluff and took her to the middle of the clearing. One of them pounded a spike into the ground in front of her then attached one end of a short cable to it. They forced her to her knees and attached the other end of the cable to the manacles on her wrists, then backed away and disappeared into the forest.

They’d laid a trap and she was the bait.

She’d knelt there for hours, desperately hoping that her colleagues wouldn’t fall for it. All the while knowing that Ren would risk everything to save her, and that scared her more than anything.

It began to rain and after a while her clothes were completely soaked. She shivered and water ran down her ridges and dripped off of the tip of her nose. At least the rain was washing some of Nin’s blood off of her hands.

Through the sound of the rain she heard the faintest noise that told her they’d come for her.

The Cardassians knew it too because she heard the glinn call out, “Ren Larno, we have weapons trained on the girl, step into the clearing.”

She wanted to scream at him to stay away, but soon she saw a pair of boots some distance in front of her and she knew exactly who those boots belonged to. She didn’t trust herself to look at him, was certain that if she did, she’d fall apart.

What the Cardassians didn’t know was that Ren and the others weren’t alone. And that they had recently acquired a member who was an excellent sharpshooter who was already perched up in a tree.

Phaser fire lanced through the air high above her head, hitting a target up on the ridge. Immediately more phasers shot out from the underbrush and grenades exploded across the edge of the ridge. She ducked her head to shield herself from the blasts. Suddenly Ren was at her side with his hands on her shoulders. He pulled a pair of wire cutters from his pocket to cut the cable and they ran back into the safety of the forest.

“It sounded like you were apologizing to him?” Maggie’s voice pulled her back to the present. When Kee didn’t say anything she backpedaled, “I’m sorry, if you don’t want to talk about it… It’s not my business.”

“It was my fault he was there in the first place.” She admitted. “Nin and the others were willing to go to the safe house after we were rescued, but I made them refuse. Talked them into joining. If I hadn’t, they’d still be alive.”

Her throat tightened, remembering going to their families after the Withdrawal to tell them what had happened. She quickly stuffed the pain back down where it had come from and took a cleansing breath while testing the polish with her fingertips.

“We should go, the others are probably already downstairs waiting for us.”

* * *

Loren waited with Lweha and Jack in the lobby of the dorm complex. Something had been a bit off with Kee lately, and Maggie’s sudden suggestion for the friends to gather had him a little worried. Kee tended to be so guarded, it was rare to see anything crack the surface of her public persona. Before he could puzzle further over it, Kee and Maggie finally emerged from the turbolift.

“Sorry! Someone decided she needed to do this.” Kee said cheerfully, showing them her painted fingernails.

“No problem, we’re not in a hurry.” Lweha assured her as he and Jack chuckled at the site of the pink sparkles.

It was unusual to see Kee out of uniform, even when working out she usually wore the standard-issue apparel and her hair was always pulled back into a pony-tail or a bun. This evening, though her hair fell softly around her face and shoulders and the sparkle of an earring peeked out to the right of her face.

Instead of a uniform she wore a formfitting wine-colored tank top with a sheer, off-white open cardigan that draped delicately over the curves of her body. Most surprising, she wore a black, knee-length flared skirt. He was certain he’d never seen her in a skirt before and his eyes automatically traced the smooth, muscled curve of her legs.

Lweha raised a disapproving eyebrow at him and he turned away, trying to make it appear that he hadn’t been looking. There was no fooling a Betazoid, though.

Together the five of them walked the short distance to the transporter hub. Kee offered to use her transport credits for all of them since she rarely left campus. Always studying or training, it was hard to get her to take a break. As far as he could tell, the only time she took off was with them.

At the coffee shop they placed their orders and sat in a semicircle of stuffed chairs. Kee slipped off her shoes and tucked her feet under her, making her legs almost disappear under her skirt.

They chatted about their plans for the semester break, nobody bringing up the subject of Kee’s recent frame of mind. Maggie, Jack and himself planned to go home to visit their families. He was looking forward to seeing what his parents had done to their house since going into semi-retirement. No doubt, they’d put him to work on some project. Lweha planned a ski trip at a resort in Antarctica with some of the other cadets from the science division.

Kee sipped her coffee and observed silently, seemingly unaware that Loren was aware of her reticence. The break wouldn’t be long enough for her to go home. Loren and the others had grown up immersed in the Starfleet culture. To them, practically all of Federation territory could be considered ‘home’, but the way Kee talked about Bajor made it clear that she missed it terribly. That is, when they could actually coerce her into talking about personal things. She was always so careful about what she shared, so vague. He guessed he might be too if he’d had the kind of history she did.

Maggie, Jack and Lweha got into an energetic discussion over the latest developments in nanotechnology, giving Loren a chance to chat with Kee. Whatever had been weighing on her mind for the past week seemed to be gone. He wondered what it had been but if she didn’t volunteer the information, he wouldn’t pry. But it turned out that he didn’t have to anyway.

“I know I’ve been a bit on edge lately.” She said to him.

“I hadn’t noticed.” He chided her.

“Oh, really?” She joked, “I should learn to wear my emotions on my sleeve more?”

There may have been more truth to that statement than she would admit.

She gave him a brief overview of some kind of caste system that would have forced her to leave Starfleet and go home.

“I can see why that would have put you in a difficult position.” He said, unsure what else _could_ be said.

“What’s that expression? ‘A rock and a hard place.’” Kee nodded with a half-smile, “That pretty much sums up my life.”

“So, if this caste system had never been abolished in the first place, you would have been out on a boat fishing right now?”

Kee laughed at the idea, “No. No, under the d’jarra system my parents would have never been allowed to be together. I wouldn’t exist. My father belonged to the engineering class.”

Jack must have been eavesdropping because he let out a noticeable snort.

Kee pointed at him in mock offence, “You! Don’t laugh.” Everyone knew that Kee struggled with engineering. Jack had spent a good deal of time working together with her on it. Although ‘struggle’ was a relative term, he’d seen her scores and they appeared to be on par with others in the security division.

“How’d they end up together, then? Your parents, I mean.” Loren asked.

“My father and uncle were on track to become software engineers when the universities were closed down. Around that same time Bajorans were banned from all of those types of jobs and their family went to the refugee camp where my mother and her family also ended up when their house was appropriated for a Cardassian officer.”

That was suddenly a lot of personal information, possibly more than she’d ever shared in the previous six months. He wasn’t sure how to respond. “Oh, that sounds tough.”

She seemed suddenly flustered. “I’m sorry, that was probably more information than you were expecting.”

“No, it’s alright.” He wanted to know more about her, but could never figure out how to get her to open up. She seemed uncomfortable, so he changed the subject. “I, uh, almost didn’t recognize you with your hair down.”

Kee laughed self-consciously, “That’s what happens when I let Maggie dress me.” She smiled over at her friend, “She’s just so persistent.”

“I think she did a good job.”

“Thanks.” Another self-conscious laugh. “It just all seems a little silly. Putting so much thought and effort into the way you dress or wear your hair. Before the Withdrawal, I don’t think I ever owned more than one set of clothes at any given time. Growing up, as soon as one kid got too big, their clothes would be passed on to someone younger.”

“I guess from that perspective we must seem a bit spoiled.”

“‘Spoiled’, no.” She said thoughtfully, “Just… privileged.”

“I guess that’s ok.”

Kee smiled wistfully, “But now there’s a whole new generation of children on Bajor who get to grow up privileged, too. Never knowing the Occupation.”

“Thanks to people like you.”

She scoffed, “Nah. We just blew stuff up once in a while.”

Loren laughed.

“It’s actually pretty awesome, you should try it sometime.”

“Blowing stuff up?”

“Yeah.” Her playful smile lit up her face, some combination of the coffee and the relief she felt seemed to have opened her up more than usual.

“I think I’ll leave that to the security division.” He said, but the thought of her teaching him wasn’t unappealing. He almost said as much, but caught himself.

After a long moment, Jack interrupted. “So, Kee, what’s with the tattoo?”

They all knew she had some kind of tattoo which she’d gotten special exemption for from the uniform code. No one knew why, though.

“Yes, I have a tattoo.” Kee said flatly, making it clear that that was all they were going to get about it.

“Can we see it?”

“Come by the sparring arena sometime and take your chances.” She sipped her coffee with a sly smirk.

Based on his nervous laugh, facing her on a sparring mat wasn’t something he was enthusiastic about, but Loren found the idea at least a little intriguing. He had strength and agility, but he was absolutely certain she’d have him flat on the ground in a matter of seconds.

“Did it hurt? To get it done?” Jack asked.

Kee raised her eyebrows at him with a look that gave him the answer. “No, it was brushed on by butterflies.”

Loren had the unfortunately bad luck to have been taking a drink at that exact moment and managed to inhale enough coffee to send him into a coughing fit. He waved a fuddled protest at Kee’s concern. “I’m okay. I’m okay.” But he entirely missed whatever Jack’s reaction had been. Glancing over to see him back focused on the other two women.

“Is that what you security guys do over there on the other side of the gym? Taunt each other into fights?” He prodded, trying to recover his ‘cool guy’ persona.

“Sometimes.” She said with that smile that shone in her eyes.

“I suppose I’ll find out soon enough.” He was scheduled for a self-defense class the following semester. He really wasn’t looking forward to it, but at least that meant he might bump into Kee once in a while.

“It’s not so bad, we go easy on the newbies.”

He ran his fingers across his forehead, “That makes it worse.”

She blew a playful snicker through her nose. “I could give you a few tips sometime.”

He tried not to smirk at her choice of words, instead saying honestly, “That might be fun.”

“Fun’s not usually the objective.” She teased.

It was true, he’d seen cadets on their way out of there, especially security cadets. Bruises, injured joints, sometimes even broken bones.

“I trust you.” He shot a grin at her.

Whatever her reaction was was hidden behind her coffee mug.


	5. Field Exercises

_2373, Starfleet Academy Year 1_

Kee dashed stumblingly down the hillside, immensely thankful for the years she’d spent navigating across rocky, slippery terrain like this. She was well ahead of the rest of the team when she neared the bottom of the ravine where Zh’shris had fallen.

As she neared, she could see that the Andorian was injured, “Call for evac!” She shouted behind her, dropping to her knees in the damp leaflitter.

Zh’shris, always the tough one, tried to pick herself up, but Kee held her down. “Stay there.”

She must have been in shock not to feel the two-centimeter diameter branch embedded in her side because Kee had to use nearly all her strength to keep her on the ground.

The others finally arrived with the med kit already in hand and Currie began scanning with the tricorder the moment he arrived.

“The comm’s dead, I’m not getting anything.” Partan said.

“The system’s been buggy ever since that thing with the Changelings and Red Squad.” Behan offered helpfully, but they all knew that. They had been trying to get the bugs out of the system for months, hopefully that’s all this was.

The small group of security cadets had been out here in Earth’s forests for field survival exercises with the expectation that they could call for backup in case of an emergency. With the comm down, they wouldn’t know whether there was something serious going on out there or just a system fluke. However, there most certainly was something serious going on right here. The bluff had given way under Zh’shris’ feet and she fell a good twenty meters, impaled on the way down.

“The bleeding is slow enough. No major organs were punctured, but if you were human, it would have pierced your spleen.” Currie said. He dug into the med kit for a preloaded hypospray. “This will dull the pain and disinfect the wound.” He said as he injected it near the wound.

“Hold her down, this is going to hurt even with the meds.” He added, preparing to remove the obstruction.

Kee adjusted her grip on the other woman’s shoulders, holding gently but firmly. Currie carefully tugged on the branch and Zh’shris’ body surged in pain as she screamed.

The jagged end of the broken branch pulled free with a gush of slick blue blood, but Bischoff was ready with a thick handful of coagulant-saturated gauze to press onto the wound.

“It’s definitely on their end.” Partan said, still inspecting the comm unit in her hand. “There’s nothing wrong with this.”

Zh’shris had relaxed, so Kee sat back on her heels. “As long as we can stop the bleeding and keep it from getting infected, she’ll be fine.” Kee offered. While she would have preferred to get her to a doctor right away, she’d dealt with a share of injuries like this. It wasn’t something they couldn’t handle themselves.

“The question is, should we keep moving or make camp here?” Behan asked.

“Keep moving.” Kee said. “At least long enough to get out of this ravine. That creek could flood and there’s no shelter here. We need to get back up to higher ground.”

“Agreed.” Bischoff said. “And we need to do it soon in case those storm clouds come our way.” He lifted the gauze off of the wound to find that the bleeding had slowed significantly.

Currie reached over and applied an autosuture over the laceration to pull it closed and quickly taped on a bandage.

Kee picked up Zh’shris’ backpack and slung it over her shoulder while Bischoff and Partan lifted her to her feet on their shoulders.

“Onward and upward.” Currie muttered as they began their climb.

* * *

Bischoff’s flashlight cut through the darkness, lighting up the thick streaks of raindrops at random and unpredictable angles until he set it down in the crook of a tree.

As soon as she was able to set Zh’shris down, Kee slipped the pack off of her back and dug out the crovel then quickly thrust it toward Bischoff.

“Dig two holes half a meter wide and half a meter deep.” She told him.

The storm had quickly rolled in before they’d been able to find a spot for a shelter and their uniforms were already soaked through and clung to their skin. Every gust of wind sent a chill through her body even in this somewhat sheltered spot in the crook of a hill.

With ice cold fingers, she gently peeled the blood-soaked bandage off of Zh’shris’ midsection just as a barrage of droplets and fir needles rained down on them. Currie was hurriedly throwing branches onto a hastily-put-together lien-to over their heads. Partan was somewhere up in a tree cutting the branches down for him with the cutting edge of another crovel.

Kee cringed at another bone chilling gust as she retrieved a sanitizer from the med kit to pass over the wound and her hands.

Behan hurried in with a load of logs and kindling. “It’s all soaked.” She said, defeated.

Kee glanced up from the fresh bandage she was preparing. Slightly damp they could manage, but that pile was sopping. “Split the logs open, there might be some dry stuff inside.” She shifted to allow more light fall on Zh’shris’ midsection. “Try not to bleed through this one, ‘Shris.”

“I’ve got to keep you guys busy somehow.” She smiled weakly.

She smoothed the adhesive along the edges of the bandage and could feel Zh’shris’ body trembling. For an Andorian to be shivering at this temperature was concerning, so she flipped the tricorder open as another shower of wet needles came down.

The tricorder confirmed Zh’shris was in a mild state of shock, but there wasn’t a lot they could do about it. She opened up an emergency blanket, draped it over her and began guiding her to lay down. Once she had tucked the blanket around her, Kee lifted her feet and shoved her pack under to elevate her legs.

“This is all that’s dry.” Behan said, holding a small handful of splintered wood.

“Okay,” she thought through the options for a moment. Back home, the rain was constant but mostly light, so they usually were able to find something somewhere that was only damp. Once in a while, though, they had to get creative. “Do we have something with magnesium in it?”

Behan’s face lit up with understanding. “Yes, the tritium coils in the geolocators are lined with magnesium.” She moved away to find the instrument. They each had one, Zh’shris definitely wouldn’t be going off on her own, so they could spare one.

Even with the downpour now blocked by Currie and Partain’s efforts, Kee’s hair was so saturated that streams of water ran down her forehead when she knelt down to check on Bischoff’s progress. He was almost finished, so she leaned down into one hole and began digging a tunnel to the other hole with her fingers.

Bischoff caught on and ditched the shovel to dig by hand from the other end.

“Bring in a few handfuls of pine and fir needles too.” She called back to Partan. At Bischoff’s questioning look, she added, “There’s resin in them.”

Her fingers collided with his and she quickly broke out the rest of the tunnel.

“I get it. You build the fire in one hole to protect it from the wind and the other hole feeds it with oxygen.” He said, sitting back on his feet.

“Works to conceal the flames if you’re being pursued, too.” She said as Partan dropped a pile of needles and silvery metal shavings next to one of the holes.

Currie began stacking branches against the windward side of their shelter, but it only blocked some of the wind. She decided that the fire hole had been a good call.

Kee dropped the wet needles into a loose pile at the bottom of the hole. The needles would aerate their small stack of kindling, giving it the best chance to ignite as well as catch themselves, adding to the initial flames while the larger wood dried out. Then she added the kindling and magnesium filings. Bischoff began teepeeing the wet logs around Kee’s pile.

“It’s going to be extremely bright for a few seconds.” Behan said hesitantly.

“I’ll do it.” Kee said, holding her hand out for the sparker. She bent down and reached into the fire hole, keeping as far away as she could. Lastly, she turned her face away while she struck the two pieces of metal together blindly.

The first indication that she’d landed a spark on the magnesium was the brilliant, staccato flashes of light that turned their little shelter to nearly daylight for a few seconds and the sizzling sound of the chemical reaction.

Once it had died down, she tried to blink her night vision back and saw the others do the same.

“You guys okay in here?” Currie ducked his head in urgently.

“It’s alright, Norv’s just burning the place down.” Behan said.

Curie’s eyes landed on the tiny fire. “I think it needs to be bigger.” He teased and slipped back out before any of them could come up with a suitably snarky reply.

Kee leaned close to their miniature fire to touch the wood above it. It was dryer, at least. The flash of heat had done its job. Now they just had to keep it going until the larger pieces were dry enough to catch. She bent down to gently blow under the fire to give it the best chance and somewhere nearby she sensed Currie and Partan had finished their job and entered.

* * *

It had taken a significant amount of time to get those wet logs to dry out and they’d had to take turns babying the fire, but they finally managed enough of a fire to keep warm.

Currie and Partan had had the presence of mind to include some stripped branches in the shelter that crossed over the fire area where they could hang their wet uniforms. Now they could only wait by the fire in their undergarments for their uniforms to dry.

Finally leaning back against a tree trunk that formed one side of their shelter, she pulled out a field ration pack and flexed it back and forth a few times to break up the contents before flipping open her old utility knife to cut it open.

“That’s not standard issue.” Bischoff observed.

“It looks Cardassian.” Partan added.

“It is.” Kee said simply and left it at that, reaching to slip it back into her pack. A former Bajoran rebel with a Cardassian knife didn’t require any explanation. The reasons she would possess it were limited and obvious.

The others opened their packs and took their first bite, almost in unison. Currie grimaced and forced himself to swallow the first bite. “Starfleet’s existed since the mid 2100’s, you’d think by now they’d have made these things taste better.”

The others murmured their agreement.

Kee just chuckled to herself and picked another chunk to eat.

“Doesn’t seem to be bothering Norv.” Bischoff pointed out.

Kee shrugged. “I’ve had worse. Just don’t ever try Bolian rations.” She warned them.

The other cadets ate their rations quickly in silence while Kee continued to pick at hers, listening to the sound of the rain. Zh’shris, still tucked in her emergency blanket cocoon, finally broke the silence. “Has everybody received orders for sophomore year field studies?”

“Starbase 157.” Currie said.

“USS Biko.” Partan said.

“USS Hornet.” Bischoff said.

“Deep Space Two.” Behan said.

“USS Concord.” Zh’shris said.

“USS Aleo.” Kee said last. She’d heard Captain Furen could be tough on cadets, but she was determined to do her job with precision and patience. One of those two things didn’t come naturally to her. Whether he was impressed with her or not, though, didn’t matter to her at all.

“So, how ‘d you get the scar?” Partan asked.

Kee realized that she was talking to her and reached down to touch the scar on the outside of her right thigh, the only scar she had that would be visible from the other woman’s position. “Shrapnel.” She said simply.

Currie leaned back against a log behind him linking his fingers behind his head as though he was reclining in a lounge. Dressed only in a pair of boxers, though, it looked ridiculous. “And…” He waited.

Kee sighed, she was working on opening up more, wasn’t she? “There was a Cardassian garrison with a base somewhere in the area, but we couldn’t seem to find them.” She began. “They had these mobile structures, and every time we thought we’d located them, they’d already moved on.” She explained.

“Finally, we were tracking one of their patrol units as they returned to their base. We had our biosigns masked, but if we traveled in a group, they still might be able to pick us up at that range, so we were spread out at least twenty meters between each of us.”

She emptied the crumbs from her ration packet into her mouth. “Turned out they were dropping proximity mines behind them. Tiny, low-range, only about a five-meter blast radius. One of them went off near me. I was outside of the kill-zone but close enough to catch a piece of shrapnel.”

\- - -

With her ears ringing from the explosion, it took Kee a moment to figure out what happened. A proximity mine?

Suddenly fearful, she looked down to confirm that her body was still intact. The Cardassians would be coming to see what had triggered the blast. She pushed her self off the ground but a piercing pain shot through her leg and she crumpled back down into the mud. When she inspected her leg, she found a piece of sharp, curved metal sticking out of her thigh with blood trickling out around it.

The Cardassians were close enough now that she could hear them.

Gritting her teeth against the pain, she slid backward along the ground and wedged herself in a hollow under a mossy, decomposing log. Before they were within sight, she peeked down at the device that masked her biosigns to confirm that it was still working and pushed herself as far as she could in the space under the log, gripping her phaser rifle against her chest.

Her leg throbbed terribly but she did her best to ignore it, biting her lip to keep herself from crying out.

The Cardassians walked slowly around the area, scanning with their tricorders. Finally, one of them said, “Looks like it was a hara. Just big enough to trip the sensors.”

“Dumb animals.” The other muttered and they turned back to rejoin their group.

When she was sure they were out of earshot, Kee slid out of her hiding place, dragging her aching, crippled leg behind her. She couldn’t walk like this and she couldn’t stay there, she reached down and prepared to pull out the piece of metal.

Knowing that the pain would increase as soon as she touched it, her hand hovered over it, willing herself to do what she knew she needed to do. Finally, she held her breath and gritted her teeth and grabbed the shard and pulled.

A tiny squeal escaped her throat as she pulled to free it. Jagged edges ripped her already damaged tissue as it came out. The metal was twisted and sharp and covered in blood. She felt herself begin to swoon from the pain, but focused on staying conscious.

She dropped the piece of metal on the ground and quickly pressed the heel of her hand hard against the wound which was now bleeding freely. With her free hand she pulled a couple of pieces of cloth out of her pack. She wadded one of them up and pressed it hard against the injury and the other she wrapped around her leg and tied as tight as she could.

She was already falling behind the others who she knew wouldn’t stop and wait for her. And since they were on comm silence, her only option was to keep going.

So, she pushed herself up onto her knees, then her feet and forced herself to move forward, using trees, rocks and logs to support her as she went.

\- - -

“We tracked the Cardassians for two more days, moving through the forest, slogging through wetlands.” Kee shrugged, “You can imagine, it got infected. But I couldn’t stop or they’d never be able to find me. After a while, the infection moved into my bloodstream and I became septic. But I had no choice, I had to keep up.

“Finally, we reached their mobile base. We surrounded it and attacked from the outside, but by the time the others advanced, I’d already passed out. When I woke up a few hours later, I was inside one of the modules. We had captured the base and my colleagues had come looking for me. Our medic repaired the damage and eliminated the infection, but because the damage had been so severe and it had begun to heal on its own, it left a scar.”

Bischoff held up his little finger and pointed to a tiny line on it. “So, I got this one…”

Kee couldn’t help but laugh with the others. She liked this group. They never showed pity or shock, just accepted her past and ribbed her for who she was now. She listened as Bischoff told an exaggerated tale of how he came to have a tiny scar on his finger.

* * *

She became aware of familiar things at first. The bite of the chilly, damp air on her nose, hushed whispers of those who had woken before her, the rustle of packs being dug through. For a moment she forgot where she was. That she wasn’t back with her cell in the forests of her home. But instead, she remembered she was with her classmates in the forest of an alien world that was far, far more safe than her home had been.

She pushed herself off of the ground and blinked sleep away. There were enough of them that they’d only had to take hour-and-a-half shifts during the night to tend the fire and keep an eye on Zh’shris, so she actually had slept surprisingly well.

Finally, she realized what had awakened her, the comm was beeping somewhere deep inside Partan’s pack and Currie was hurriedly digging it out.

The moment he had it in hand, he said, “This is team twenty-three. Are you reading me?”

_“Team twenty-three, we read you. What is your status?”_

“We have an injury, require evac.”

_“How serious?”_

“She’s stable, but needs a doctor right away.”

_“Acknowledged. We’ll beam you to the Omak Medical Facility. Stand by.”_

The cadets picked themselves up off of the ground, snuffed out the fire and prepared for beam out. As simple as that. Given the normal flow of her life, she’d honestly expected it to escalate into something far closer to life-threatening.


	6. Things Change

_2374, Starfleet Academy Year 2_

Kee proceeded through the Aleo’s corridors at a steady but purposeful pace, sidestepping out of the way of officers. When she arrived at Main Engineering, she slowed as she looked for the Chief Engineer, Lieutenant Sohn. When she’d spotted her, she walked over to deliver one of the two padds she was carrying.

“Lieutenant, these are the upgrades Lieutenant Schrader is requesting for the torpedo guidance systems.”

“Thank you, Cadet.” She said, taking the padd.

Kee turned away and headed back the way she came, but didn’t return to the security office, going instead to Commander Marshal’s office.

Being on the security track, half of her shift every day was spent in the security office or other related locations on the ship: the brig, the armory, inside the guts of the weapons systems. Then the other half of her shifts she moved between the other divisions. To analyze her aptitude in those other areas, she guessed. Or, rather, her lack of aptitude. But she could have told them that from the start without slowing down the work in engineering or messing up data interpretation in the science lab. She did fairly well assisting in sickbay, but she had no interest there. No, security was where she belonged, this only served to emphasize that.

While she stood outside the door, waiting for permission to enter, she turned the padd over and over in her hand. Her direct superior, Lieutenant Schrader, had already given his approval to her request, but had sent her up the ladder to the first officer.

_“Enter.”_ She heard him say and stepped forward to trigger the door.

“Cadet, what brings you here?” He greeted her from behind his desk.

Kee stepped forward and handed him the formal request, but summarized it for him. “This is a request for a short leave to attend the Federation Cultural Arts Exhibition at the New France colony.”

Marshal’s brow furrowed as he skimmed the padd. “You’ve only been here five weeks, Cadet.”

“Yes, sir, I realize it’s a little unusual to request leave so soon, but, see, Bajor has been invited to participate this year, and a close friend of mine has been selected as one of the musicians.”

“And you’d like to be there.” He finished for her.

“I’d love to see her perform at such a prestigious venue.” She flashed back for an instant to some of Cadda’s first performances at the local carnivals of rural, jerkwater towns. Nothing but her instrument, an amp and her two bandmates, Teji and Ojem.

She began to worry that he might not be convinced, so she decided to sweeten the deal. “I’ll work double shifts the weeks before and after.”

He looked down at the padd, then, finally, back up at her and smiled. “Request approved. And I would have given it to you for just one week of double shifts.” He added with a half-smile.

“Thank you, sir.” She said, working to keep the grin off her face.

“Dismissed.”

* * *

Kee stepped out of the transporter hub at the New France colony into a crowded courtyard. She was supposed to meet Cadda here, but hadn’t anticipated it being so busy. Populations at Federation colonies were closely controlled to prevent overtaxing the carefully balanced ecosystem. But, then again, this was an event that would draw people from all over this part of Federation space, so it was bound to be packed.

Unable to spot her friend over the heads of taller people, she was about to ask the computer to locate her when she saw a familiar face coming toward her. Kee maneuvered her way through the crush of people until she reached Cadda.

“Kee!” Cadda exclaimed, wrapping her arms around her.

Kee hugged back.

“I’m glad you were able to come!”

She finally pulled away. “So am I.” Even if she did have another week of double shifts ahead of her when she got back. She noted that Cadda had changed her hair again. This time it was jet black with purple streaks that faded into bright red ends.

Cadda took her hand and maneuvered her quickly through the crowd. Just as she was about to ask where they were going, she saw another delightfully familiar face ahead.

“Joial!” She nearly screamed over the noise, and nearly launched herself into his arms for an enthusiastic hug. “I didn’t expect to see you.”

“One would expect a couple of ex-rebels to be able to keep a secret.” He squeezed her tight and lifted her off her feet for a second, a wash of affection flooded through her almost to the point of tears, then let go and held her back from him. “You look good.”

“Thanks. How’s the baby?”

“Not much of a baby anymore, he’s walking already.”

“And you haven’t sent me pictures in weeks!”

“I will do that. How’s the field training going?”

“Fine. They have me doing a lot of different jobs, but all it does is reinforce my aptitude for security. But, we’re not here to talk about me. This is Cadda’s event.”

“Bah. I just scream into a microphone for a while and people come and listen to it.” With that they continued making their way through the crowd.

* * *

The day after Kee arrived, Cadda’s group was scheduled to perform. Kee waited while they were introduced to a notably less raucous crowd than usually attended their concerts. Humans. Kee mused.

For her part, she cheered loudly as Teji and Ojem took their places on stage, followed by Cadda. Without preamble the music started, blaring loudly in her ears and enhanced with synchronized patterns of light. It was so loud Kee couldn’t even hear her own voice.

She cheered until her voice gave out. The raw, primal emotions the music roused felt good after the strict control of Starfleet. She adored watching Cadda give herself over to the music, fully engrossed in the moment. Kee had a unique understanding of the meanings behind Cadda’s songs: leaving her family, the drugs passed around the interrogation center, having her dignity stripped from her, the heartbreak of loss, the weight of killing. All were shrouded in metaphor but clear to anyone who knew what to look for.

Song after song, Kee lost herself in her friend’s music.

* * *

After the concert, Kee walked with Joial to Cadda’s guest suite where he was staying with the members of the band. He’d been questioning her the whole way about the engineering courses she’d taken. She described in vague detail the things she’d learned, not having ever been very good at techno-speak, but he seemed to understand her imprecise ramblings.

They walked quietly together for a while with his arm around her shoulder and hers around his waist. She had to take long strides to keep in step with the man who was a full head taller than her.

Finally, he said, “Everybody back home misses you.”

“I miss them too.”

“But, they’re also ridiculously proud of you.” He said, “And so am I.”

She leaned her head against him as they walked, “You always were one for ridiculousness.”

When they reached their destination, the doors opened to reveal a huge suite with multiple sitting areas a full dining setup, three separate computer consoles, doors leading off to at least six other rooms and a magnificent view of the colony. The whole place was lavishly furnished in Federation style. Kee compared it to the tiny, single room she was staying in. “Woah! I’m in the wrong line of work.” Kee said, admiring the spacious place, “I should have become a singer.”

Cadda was sitting on one of several couches with her feet up and her head resting against a pillow. “No. No, you’re in just the right line of work.”

“But like to sing.”

“And feel free to do it as much as you like… in private.”

Kee’s mouth gaped before laughing, “You are so mean!” She picked up a pillow from the couch and threw it at her.

As the two women laughed, Joial looked around and asked, “Where are Teji and Ojem?”

“A couple of groupies showed up and convinced them to go to that reception tonight in the main hall.”

“You didn’t want to?” Kee asked.

Cadda sighed and rubbed her face, “No. I am done for the night.” The concerts were emotionally draining for her, she usually didn’t want to do anything in public afterward.

Kee watched her friend for a moment. The on-stage persona was gone, she was back in her usual clothes, makeup removed and she’d braided her hair to keep it out of her face. The purple and green streaks wound their way through the braids, highlighting them beautifully. For a moment she wished she could do something like that with her hair, but Starfleet uniform code only permitted hair color that was natural to one’s species.

Something on the coffee table in front of them caught her eye: an old, tattered hat that she knew for sure didn’t belong to Cadda or Joial and certainly wasn’t the style for the other two who were staying here. In fact, she knew exactly who it belonged to.

Telan was a fan of Cadda’s to an extreme extent. She’d have thought he was in love if she thought he was capable of such a thing. He was also crude and shifty and irritating. Even more, he got on Cadda’s nerves so much that she routinely ranted to her about him over subspace. Not someone she would have expected would be permitted here.

Joial spotted her observation, “She invited him.” He said, unamused.

Kee turned her wordless question on the other woman.

“What?” She shrugged, “The dick’s good.”

“Wh-” Kee sputtered at the revelation, “I have no words.”

Finally, Cadda spoke again. “What did your mother say about you getting time off to come here and not home?”

Kee thought for a moment, she’d sent a message as soon as she arrived but hadn’t heard back. “You know, she hasn’t responded.”

“Maybe she didn’t get it yet.”

“No, she always responds within a day unless there’s a lot of subspace traffic and there wouldn’t be this close to home.” This didn’t feel right. “Maybe the message didn’t transmit somehow.” She stood and went to one of the consoles. After logging in to her personal account she found that, sure enough, her message hadn’t been sent. She retried the transmission two more times but it continued to be blocked.

“Let me take a look.” Joial said as he took her seat and began tapping around at the interface. Finally, he shook his head, “Something’s blocking outgoing messages, I can’t even ping the nearest subspace relay.” He disappeared into his room and returned with an independent console.

As he opened it up Kee saw Boslic writing on it. “That’s a black-market Boslic Autonomous Cyrotronic unit! Those are illegal on Bajor and in the Federation. Do you have any idea how much trouble you could get in just having one?!”

Both Cadda and Joial looked at her like they were waiting for the punchline of a joke. Kee backed down, all three of them had done far more illegal things in the past. She stepped away to give him some space to work. Outgoing messages blocked could be as simple as a mechanical glitch or something very worrisome.

“This is not good.” He said finally and indicated a huge mass of text on his screen, “All incoming and outgoing comm traffic for the last two days have been fake. You see here,” he indicated several sections of the text that didn’t tell her anything, but she took his word for it.

She paced the room a few times while he continued working. Fake comm traffic definitely pointed to intentional sabotage. And why wouldn’t the Starfleet officers stationed here have uncovered it themselves? Two days was a long time to go without comms. Something big was about to happen, she could feel it. Something bad.

But who would target a music exhibition? Someone without much power, without much influence. Without a government or military to back them up… terrorists. The thought sent cold chills through her.

Finally, Joial spoke up again. “I’m seeing multiple unauthorized access events over the last couple of months. The most recent was the same time that the comms went down.”

“Are you sure?”

He pointed out a wall of code on the screen, “They used the same technique to cover their tracks that I used to. I recognize it, alright.”

“Any idea what else they were doing?” Cadda asked, her earlier fatigue had disappeared. There was a problem to handle now and she’d be up for it.

“Checking.” After a moment, Joial leaned back in his chair. “This is bad. Whoever it was has been into the concert hall’s security system, the Starfleet facility’s system and they accessed the colony’s lockdown procedure.”

Kee shook her head, “Can you download it into a padd for me? I need to report this to the Security Chief.”

Cadda finally interrupted, “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.” She shook her head, “It could be an inside job. Otherwise, how would the comm traffic go unnoticed for two days.”

“What do you propose we do?” Kee asked irritably.

“Don’t tip our hand. Find out how deep this goes. Track down whoever’s responsible.”

“You’re talking about some kind of conspiracy, Cadda.” She could accept that there could be a saboteur, maybe two, but it couldn’t possibly go all the way up to the Chief of Security. “No, we found something suspicious, we need to report it to the authorities.”

“Right now, we have the advantage, we can move on our terms.”

“‘Move’? What do you mean ‘move’? What do you expect to do?”

“Whatever we need to.”

Kee pointed at the two of them, “You two are civilians, you have no authority. I’m on leave, I have no authority either. We can’t just run off like a bunch of vigilantes to take matters into our own hands.”

“We’ve never needed authority!” Cadda argued.

“Things change.” She said, taking the padd from Joial.

She narrowed her eyes, “Things or people?”

_Ouch._

“Please,” Kee finally said, “Just wait here. I’ll take care of it.” Then she turned and headed out of the suite.

Just as Kee was passing through the door, Cadda called, “Hey,” she tossed a small comm unit to her, “In case you need it. It’s encrypted.”

Kee nodded and let the door close behind her.

* * *

Kee finished outlining to Lieutenant Carlin what they had found about the comm and security systems.

Carlin’s brow furrowed, “How did you come by this information?”

“I know someone who knows his way around computer systems.” She said, hoping the vague answer would be satisfactory.

“And your friend is certain this isn’t just a glitch?”

“Absolutely. It appears that someone is positioning themselves for some kind of attack on the colony.”

“Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Cadet.” He said dismissively, turning back to his console.

“Sir, this is a matter of some urgency…”

“I understand, Cadet. I’ll look into it immediately.”

“If I can assist in any way…”

“That won’t be necessary. We do actually have personnel here who are capable of handling the matter.” He said. “Dismissed.”

Kee blinked and backed up one step before turning to leave. She didn’t like this at all. If Carlin was involved somehow… Maybe Cadda was right and they should conduct their own investigation. Kee hadn’t walked thirty seconds down the hallway before a pair of armed security officers stepped in front of her.

“Cadet Norvish,” one of them said, “if you would come with us.”

“Why?”

“We have orders to take you into custody immediately relating to an unauthorized system access.”

Kee didn’t budge, so they moved to flank her and each grabbed her by her upper arms. She considered her options. Were they in on whatever was going on? Or were they loyal Starfleet officers, just doing their job? The idea of assaulting a couple of Starfleet officers made her feel sick. She allowed them to guide her down the hallway, giving no resistance.

As they began to relax their grip, she yanked her arm free and smashed her elbow into the face of the officer on her right. The one on her left pulled his phaser but she spun to face him and grabbed his hand, pulling it toward her and hit his nose with the heel of her hand.

She turned back to see the first one swinging a punch at her, she deflected it with her forearm and kneed him in the gut then grabbed his face to shove him down to the floor. His head hit hard and he was out.

The second one grabbed her around the shoulders but she hooked her foot around his, dropped down low and rotated him around her back to slam him into the wall. Once she was sure he was out too she bent down to grab both phasers.

Kee snatched her commbadge off of her shirt and dropped it next to the officers before hurrying into a turbolift. “Ground floor exit.” She told it, pulling out the comm unit Cadda gave her. “Cadda. I don’t know how many officers are involved, but they just tried to arrest me. It won’t take them long to connect the two of you to me, you need to get somewhere safe.”

_“We’ve already left. On our way to the old sector of the colony, I’m sending you our location.”_ Cadda’s voice sounded tinny over the comm.

Kee looked at the unit to confirm that it displayed a set of coordinates on its tiny screen. “Got it. See you soon.” She closed the connection as she rushed out into the night air.

* * *

Kee had reached the old sector of the colony just as the lockdown procedure began. People were instructed to close their businesses and return to their homes as though an attack was imminent. It was, but not from where people expected it.

Starfleet security officers patrolled the area, but there were few enough of them that she was able to evade them easily. There were plenty of officers stationed here to have someone on nearly every street corner. Where were they all?

Kee reached the coordinates Cadda had given her but didn’t immediately see her. After a moment she heard, “Psst.” She turned to see her in the shadows between two older buildings and followed her down the alley way. When they were away from the street Cadda said quietly, “You have to see this.” And led the way into an empty storage shed behind the buildings.

Joial looked up at her with a grim expression and turned his console toward her. It displayed an image of Colony Director Verhoef with Lieutenant Carlin standing behind him in what appeared to be the Colony Ops building. Joial activated the playback, and Verhoef began in the calm tones of a politician.

_“Residents of New France, the Maquis have seized this colony. We have no intention of harming you or anyone else. As long as you remain in your homes, this will end peacefully. All non-Maquis Starfleet personnel have been detained temporarily. The guests at the concert hall will remain under guard there until the Federation Council meets our demands, which are simple: recognize our sovereignty of the Demilitarized Zone immediately and release all Maquis detainees. We wish to be treated as our own state, independent of the Federation, with our own government and our own military. Again, please remain in your homes and this will all be over soon.”_

Kee stared at the blank screen as she processed the message. The Maquis had enjoyed a great deal of freedom since the Klingons invaded Cardassian territory. Evidently, they’d grown bold enough to expect complete independence. She couldn’t blame them. She even sympathized with them. But taking hostages was unacceptable.

“The message was broadcast colony-wide a few minutes ago, but they haven’t sent anything to Federation Headquarters.” Joial said.

“Can you keep them from being able to send out that message?” She asked him.

“I think so.” He said and got to work.

“I wonder why they didn’t immediately.” Cadda mused. “Maybe we disrupted their timetable. They weren’t quite ready to move.”

“That might just give us an advantage.” Kee said. With all other loyal Starfleet personnel detained, it was up to her to stop this.

“What do you mean, ‘give us an advantage’? You’re the one who didn’t want to take action ourselves.” Cadda asked.

“That was before we knew what was really going on. We have to stop them.”

“Stop them from doing what? They’re just trying to force the Federation to listen to them. Kee, they are us four years ago!”

“That doesn’t mean what they’re doing is right.”

“If we’d had an opportunity to force the Federation into our fight, do you honestly believe we wouldn’t have taken it?”

“We would never have taken innocent people hostage.”

“Now you’re going to try to act like we always restricted our actions to military targets? You know that’s not true.”

Kee couldn’t claim that they had. “Don’t make this into something it’s not.”

“And what is it not?”

“Our fight.”

Cadda scoffed, “‘Not our fight.’ Now you sound like Starfleet.”

“I am Starfleet. The Prime Directive…”

“The Prime Directive is an excuse not to get their hands dirty!”

“The Prime Directive is more than that.” She began again, hoping she could make her understand. “If Bajor decides not to join the Federation, or if we join and then decide to leave, the Prime Directive ensures our right to do that! It protects us and everyone the Federation interacts with.”

“And what about the Maquis’ right to leave the Federation?”

“There’s nothing stopping them from declaring themselves a sovereign nation. But there is a legal process for doing that. Taking hostages is unacceptable.”

Cadda took a few steps away and turned back to her. “Kee, you know I’m with you no matter what. You fight, I fight. Just be sure you’re fighting the right battle.”

“We have another problem.” Joial interrupted. “I set up a subroutine to check through the logs for more unauthorized entries and it found two more relating to the shipping manifests of two supply deliveries a few weeks ago. There wasn’t anything significant listed in the shipments at first, so I dug around and was able to reconstruct the original records.” He turned the screen to show them what he’d found. “Cabrodine.” He said, pointing to one. “Infernite.” Pointing to the other.

“Cabrodine and infernite.” Kee repeated as a feeling of dread fell over her like a heavy blanket. “They have a bomb.”

“Looks like it.” He confirmed. “And based on the amount of materials, either one massive one or a lot of little ones.”

“The colony’s security grid should have picked up any explosives.”

Joial nodded. “That’s likely the purpose for the hack to the security system.”

“Any way to track down a location?” She asked.

“It would take hours to undo whatever it is they did to the system, but I should be able to locate blindspots. There may be more of them than there are actual bombs, but it’s a place to start.”

“Ok.” Kee nodded, “And see if you can pinpoint where the Starfleet officers are being held.” She handed him one of the phasers and turned to Cadda. “You and I need to get in there somehow.”

“I have a couple of ideas.” She said with a smirk. Kee held the other phaser out to her, but she pushed it back. “Keep it. I’ll find my own.”

Kee nodded, “Just… try not to kill anybody unless absolutely necessary.”

* * *

Cadda had split off from Kee so they could enter the building separately. She’d been willing to allow the Maquis to play this thing out, until they found out about the bombs. Kee had always been a more honorable person than she was. Cadda was willing to do what needed to be done with fewer ethical qualms. Not none, just fewer. But the bombs… yeah, that crossed a line. Innocent people, including her bandmates, would be killed if the Maquis didn’t get their way.

After making her way to the twenty-first floor of an empty administrative building she let herself into an office just above the twentieth-floor’s skywalk that connected to the smaller Colony Operations building. There would be some kind of checkpoint in the skywalk between the two buildings, but she was less likely to run into any security measures on top of the passage.

Cadda slid open the window and stepped out onto the ledge. The roof of the skywalk was less than a meter down and wide enough to hide her from anyone below. She found a couple of handholds and lowered herself down until she could touch the skywalk with her toes. At that point she let go and dropped silently into a crouch. Keeping low, she hurried across.

As soon as she reached the other end she searched for a ledge to creep around the back side of the building. Betting it would hold her weight, she stepped onto a thin, decorative lip that ran all the way around the building. It was narrow, but secure. Handholds were another matter. As she crept along she had to dig her fingers into tight crevices or wrap her hands around large bulkheads. A tiny smile snuck onto her lips as she enjoyed the feeling of her heart pounding in her chest and the heady rush of adrenaline.

When she reached the corner of a balcony, she edged close enough to peek inside. The room was completely dark, so she stepped silently over the railing. It was a quick matter to override the lock, security on a colony inside Federation boarders was not tight. She slipped inside and listened for a moment without hearing anything.

Once her eyes had adjusted to the darkness she could see that she was inside a long conference room with movable bulkheads that could be used to divide up the space into smaller meeting areas. Currently those bulkheads were all pushed to the side, leaving a long corridor-like room with multiple exits. A desk with a console sat nearby, she went over to it and began opening drawers. These Federation types always seemed to stash tricorders everywhere as though the next scientific discovery could come upon them at any moment. Sure enough, after opening the third drawer she found one.

She flipped open the tricorder and scanned the hallway outside. There was one lifesign out there and the scan indicated the person was armed and wearing a Starfleet commbadge. Cadda rummaged around in the desk some more and found a small, rectangular instrument. Nothing harmful, but he wouldn’t know that.

Cadda walked along length of the conference room up to the door where the tricorder told her Maquis stood on the other side. She slid the door open and immediately pressed the object against the back of his neck. “Don’t move.” She said directly into his ear. Once his hands were up, she reached down and pulled his phaser out of its holster, first checking to make sure it was on stun. Then she shoved him with her foot against the opposite wall. When he fell against the wall he turned to look at her. She smiled and held up the object he’d thought was a weapon. Then she shot him.

Tossing the object back into the room, she bent down and dragged him inside. She stood for a moment to look for something that she could use to tie him up. Her eyes fell on the window coverings, which had long tiebacks. She grabbed one of them and quickly tied his hands to his feet behind his back.

Cadda slipped the comm unit out of her pocket and keyed it on. “Joial, I’m in. Where’s Kee?”

_“She just came out of a maintenance crawlway on the fifth floor.”_

“I’m on the twentieth floor. Any idea where the targets are?”

_“I don’t have access to internal sensors, so I’m blind from here.”_

“If I link up a tricorder through the comm unit, would that give you access to the internal sensors?”

_“I could make that work.”_ He said slowly.

Cadda set about making a connection between the tricorder and the console, which was easy to do. Federation technology all worked very happily together. Linking up the tricorder and the comm unit was a little more difficult, Federation and Lissepian technology didn’t always play nice, but eventually she was able to get them to talk to each other. She set the tricorder down on the desk and it blinked to life as Joial accessed its systems.

“There’s a cluster of lifesigns on the eighth floor and a few other individuals scattered around the rest of the building. I’m counting twenty-two lifesigns, not including you and Kee.”

“Got it. I’m on my way to the eighth floor, have Kee meet me there.” She blew a kiss at the unconscious man on the floor and hurried out the door.

* * *

As Cadda descended an emergency staircase, she shifted the Starfleet phaser in her hand. The grip felt all wrong. Why couldn’t they use a pistol-shaped weapon like everybody else? As she made her way downward as quietly as possible, she tapped through the various settings on the phaser, making note of the autofire option.

Cadda had become familiar enough with Federation signage that she recognized “8th Floor” marked on the door, but as she got closer to it, she could hear phaser fire on the other side of the door. She touched the control that would release the door without opening it, then wedged her fingers between the two halves of the door and slid it open a tiny bit.

Through the crack, she could see a large room filled with rows of small, empty, compartmentalized workstations. She watched for a moment then saw several Starfleet-uniformed people peek up above the edge of the dividers and fire toward the opposite side of the room. An instant later several phaser blasts answered from a single location.

Kee.

Cadda knelt down and slid the door open far enough for her to squeeze through then slunk low along the edge of the cluster of workstations until she could see up the row where the Maquis were hiding. One of them was easily visible, the others she might get a shot if she moved quickly after taking down the first one. She silently took aim and shot the first one. Three of the four others spun around and moved out of sight and fired back before she could take a second shot.

Making a quick backtrack two rows over she saw phaser blasts fly over her head. She took cover in one of the workstation compartments and waited long enough for them to approach. When she heard shuffling noises indicating they’d reached the end of their row she leaned out to see who she could pick off, but all she could see was a black-sleeved hand with a phaser pointed in her direction.

She pulled back in time for a phaser blast to graze just past her face, then carefully edged back out and fired. Her shot hit his phaser, sending it sparking away from him. That was one unarmed, at least.

Cadda thumbed through the settings on the phaser to select the autofire sequence and programmed it to fire randomly. Then she propped it up on a desk that would approximate her current position. Once it began firing, she kept low and ran to the other end where an isle divided the groupings of workstations, then doubled back to the next row where the hostiles were.

She crept along the row using the partitions between workstations to conceal her movements. When she reached the second to last workstation, one of the hostiles ducked into the first alcove to take cover from her phaser decoy. Unsure where the others were, she readied herself and leapt toward him. He turned, but not soon enough, she grabbed his hand that held the phaser and slammed it into the desk, sending it skittering away.

Cadda backed away and as he got to his feet she jumped backwards up onto a desk. From there she could see all four Maquis. One had stayed in position, exchanging fire with Kee and keeping her pinned in place. Of the three that were currently moving to surround Cadda, one was a blue-skinned Bolian, one looked like a thick-necked goon and the one that still held a phaser was a skinny, pale redhead. She took a moment to assess their threat levels, then made her move.

She dodged the phaser blast from Red while swinging a punch that connected with ridge that ran down Blue’s face. Goon rushed toward her and she kicked him hard in the chest. In her periphery, she saw Kee draw Red’s fire, for the moment anyway, while Cadda stepped across to another desk. Blue was back up and reaching to pull her down but she side-kicked him on the jaw.

Red was turning to shoot at her again and she jumped down onto him, knocking the phaser out of his hand and slamming his head into the floor. She rolled with the momentum and ended up back on her feet in a crouch. With Goon hurrying toward her, she grabbed a thin computer off of a nearby desk, with the same movement she swung it up and slammed it across his face. The casing split in two and sparked across her hands, forcing her to drop the improvised weapon.

Blue grabbed her shoulder and spun her around directly into a gut punch. She staggered back and Goon grabbed her from behind. She pushed up as hard as she could with her legs and dropped down, pulling him over her back and throwing him against Blue.

Red tried to grab her from behind but she swung wide and hit him across the jaw, then grabbed the back of his neck to slam his forehead into a desk. One down.

Just as Goon was getting up, she drove her knee into his nose and smashed his head sideways against a partition. Two down.

She dodged a punch from Blue and as his arm sailed past her face, she grabbed it and twisted it behind his back, forcing him to double over. Then she struck the base of his skull with her elbow. Three down.

At that point she could still hear the sound of phasers as Kee continued to exchange fire with Number Four. Cadda hurried to pick up the phaser she’d knocked out of Red’s hand and slunk around the corner where she could create a crossfire. She still couldn’t get a shot at him, but might at least be able to draw his fire and give Kee an opening.

She targeted him based on where Kee was aiming and as soon as she fired, a couple of phaser blasts answered back, followed immediately by more phaser fire from Kee, then silence.

Cadda took a moment to catch her breath, it had been a while since she’d been in combat. Kee seemed barely winded, rushing up to her, and the two of them tapped forearms in congratulations.

Kee handed her three pairs of restraints and turned away while Cadda secured the three she’d knocked out. As she was taking care of the other two, Kee pulled the comm unit out. “Joial, where are we going?”

_“Head out the door on the east side of the room. There are two targets in the Colony Director’s office and one nearby moving away from your position.”_

“Got it.” Kee said. In the Director’s office, the Maquis would likely have access to just about everything they’d need for their operation. “Have you found the locations of the bombs?”

_“Possibly. There are a number of small sensor gaps throughout the concert hall, but I can’t give you exact locations.”_

“Any luck on releasing those Starfleets?” Cadda asked.

_“Still working on it.”_

“If you do, be sure to let them know I’m on their side.”

_“Will do.”_

Cadda grinned at Kee as they moved toward the exit on the east side of the room.

Kee shook her head at her, “You’re enjoying this.”

Cadda shrugged, “Is there something wrong with that?”

“I think there might be.” Kee gave her a lopsided smirk, but it was gone in an instant when they reached the door. Cadda always loved to watch for that moment when she switched from the fun, playful Kee to the serious, mission-focused Kee. She had to bite her lip to keep from smiling. The latter version was the one in charge now and she would not appreciate the observation.

Cadda followed Kee down the hallway with their backs against the wall and phasers ready. It had always been Ren’s unspoken command that Kee was his Second and it still felt natural to follow her lead. Not only because of Ren’s preference, but because she had proven herself many times worthy of their allegiance. She’d shadow her right through the Fire Caves and back.

The two stalked through the hallway until they caught sight of a straggler up ahead. When he saw them, he fired his phaser at them once then took off in the direction he was heading. She could hear him calling ahead to his comrades. So much for the element of surprise. At least they had someone to follow, though. They jogged ahead in cautious pursuit.

At the end of a long hallway they came upon a spacious seating area in front of a wide doorway marked with a sign that said Colony Director Mike Verhoef. Kee took a position on one side of the door while Cadda moved to the other side and began working to override the lock.

The door slid open to silence and the two women peeked around the edge. In that brief moment Cadda could see an assistant’s desk just inside with a glass partition behind it that depicted the colony’s skyline dividing the space from a large office beyond. Before she could see more, phaser fire erupted from behind the partition.

Kee bent down and slunk inside, using the desk as cover. Cadda followed.

“I count three hostiles.” Kee said quietly.

“Same here.” There was one behind a large desk in the back and two behind one of two sofas facing each other in the center of the room. “But I’d like to get this partition out of the way. It provides no cover, just blocks our view.”

“Agreed.” With that, Kee pointed her phaser over her head and fired backward at it. The glass shattered instantly and pieces crashed down all around, pelting her shoulders and hair.

The three Maquis resumed firing over their heads and Kee carefully turned around to face the desk. “I’ll keep them pinned down, you swing around to the right, take out the one behind the Director’s desk, I’ll take these two. Whichever one is Carlin, try not to knock him out, I have a few questions for him.”

“Got it.”

She handed Kee her phaser and she continued to fire with a phaser in each hand as though both of the women were still there. Cadda slid over to the edge of the desk and gave Kee a signal. To cover her movements, Kee let loose a barrage of phaser fire toward the other side of the room. The moment Cadda made it behind the sofa she stopped to keep the phasers from overheating.

Cadda crept to the other end where she could see that it was Carlin behind the desk. There was no cover between her position and his. She pondered her options, which were few. In fact, she could only come up with one strategy: an insane, idiotic, foolish leap across the desk. A move that Ren certainly would have scolded her for. But he wasn’t in charge anymore, so she positioned her legs under her to give her the greatest leverage and sprung forward. She cleared the edge of the desk and took another small leap directly on top of the shocked Carlin.

He grasped at her as she pulled him to the floor. She grabbed the back of his hand and pulled it backward farther than his wrist should bend and his fingers automatically released their grip on the phaser. He tried to wrap his arm around her neck but she twined her legs around his and slipped her body behind his back where she hooked her arms around both of his elbows and pulled them behind his back.

In the momentary respite, she realized that the phaser fire had stopped and she heard the sounds of a struggle nearby. She maneuvered her feet onto the floor, straddling him and hauled him to his feet. Before she could make out who had the upper hand in the scuffle on the other side of the room, Carlin shoved backward and slammed her into the corner of the desk. It dug into the back of her ribcage.

Gritting her teeth against the pain, she slid her knee up against the small of his back and pressed forward while wrenching his shoulders back. With a painful grunt, he dropped to his knees and she could finally check on Kee who was in the middle of delivering a full body slam to one of her opponents.

Once Kee had verified that both of them were staying down she produced two more pairs of restraints. Where was she getting those from? And secured those two before pulling a desk chair into the middle of the room.

Cadda pulled Carlin back to his feet and dumped him into the chair then retrieved a couple of phasers for them.

“Where is the detonator?!” Kee immediately demanded.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He insisted.

Cadda raised her hand again to hit him with the handle of the phaser but Kee grabbed her arm to stop her. When she backed off Kee stood in front of him. “We know about the bombs.”

“What bombs?” He seemed genuinely baffled.

“We found evidence of the concealed shipments containing cabrodine and infernite. There are blind spots in the security grid around the concert hall. So, I’m guessing that’s where your bombs are, rigged to level the whole place.”

A horrified expression crossed his face. “Those aren’t ours.”

Cadda crossed her arms and gave Kee a sidelong look. She didn’t believe him either.

“I mean it. All the Maquis want is our sovereignty of the DMZ to be recognized. We’re expecting this to end peacefully. An attack on Federation citizens would be counterproductive, it would only make them come down on us.”

Cadda wanted to believe him. She suddenly saw the same desperation on his face that she’d felt at times. But this was no time for a soft touch. In this performance of Good-vigilante/Bad-vigilante, she was definitely not the good one. She stepped closer to him aggressively.

“I swear! They’re not ours!” He said, edging toward anger.

Cadda backed off and Kee turned away thoughtfully. “If they’re not yours, who’s are they?”

“I don’t know. Only trusted members of the Maquis were in on this.”

“Then it must be one of your own.”

“Impossible.”

“Who was in charge of altering the computer systems?”

“It was Bookter. But he’s a computer tech, he doesn’t have the expertise to build a bomb.”

“Then who’s above him?”

“He answers directly to Verhoef.” He shook his head, “But Verhoef would never betray the Maquis. He’s been with us from the beginning.”

“Does Verhoef have the expertise to build the bombs?”

He thought desperately, “I don’t know, maybe. Like I said, he’s been with the Maquis for a long time.”

“Was anyone else involved in sabotaging the computer systems?”

“No. Each stage of the plan was compartmentalized. I’m sure you understand that.”

“Where is Verhoef now?”

“How should I know. You two probably shot him out there somewhere.”

Kee looked at her and shrugged, Cadda shrugged back. “It wasn’t me.”

Kee pulled out her comm unit. “Joial, is there any sign of Verhoef’s location?”

_“One moment.”_

Kee looked at her, “What do you think?” She said quietly enough that Carlin couldn’t hear.

“I don’t think he knew about the bombs. He’s right, that would be a bad move for the Maquis.”

“I agree. Verhoef?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know. It doesn’t seem right. Why would someone who’s been Maquis for that long turn against his own people? Bookter could have had another accomplice.”

Joial’s voice broke through the comm, _“I’ve got Verhoef on a security cam entering the concert hall about five minutes ago with another man in a blue Starfleet uniform.”_

Carlin spoke up, “That’s probably Bookter. He’s the only blue-shirt we have on our side. I don’t know why they’re doing what they are, but you have to stop them before they kill those people.”

“Why would they go there?” Kee asked, but Cadda knew she knew the answer: suicide mission. “Do you know where in the concert hall they might go?” Kee asked him.

“There’s an office overlooking the main hall, maybe he’d go there.”

Kee looked over at Cadda, “See if you can do anything to help release the officers. I’ll handle Bookter and Verhoef.”

* * *

The concert hall was crawling with former Starfleet security officers. She wondered if they knew about the bombs or if they thought they were just keeping the hostages in place. Kee carefully avoided them, but it was difficult. She had snuck around plenty of corridors back in the Resistance, but Cardassians were easier to hear approaching. Humans wearing soft Starfleet uniforms instead of armor were much quieter. Even her shoes seemed too loud on the tiled floor, so she slipped them off and padded along in only her socks.

She crept up to an intersection. There was a guard just around the corner. She’d never be able to sneak past him.

She reached around to hook his neck with her elbow and pulled him backward against her. He regained his footing enough to push back and slam her against the wall, but she held him in a tight chokehold, cutting off his breathing until he went limp in her arms. She took a moment to make sure he was still alive, then lowered him down onto the floor and hurried forward.

She ducked past two more patrols before approaching the office Carlin had indicated. There were two gold-uniformed officers standing outside. She peered around, there was no cover to sneak up on them, so she decided on a frontal approach and strode blatantly toward them. “Hi. I wanted to talk to someone in charge…” She stopped and raised her hands with two phasers pointed at her chest.

“How did you get out of the concert hall?” One of them asked.

She shrugged. “Like this…” with that she quickly grabbed the wrist of the one on the right, pulled his arm across her chest and held it tight while pressing her elbow hard into his jaw and turned the phaser to shoot his partner. He struggled and threw off her aim, but she was glad he did because it became clear that the phaser was not set on stun when it produced a nasty phaser burn where it hit the other guy’s arm. Fortunately, it sent him reeling back in pain.

The Starfleet training to extract himself from the hold she had on him would be to twist her arm around behind her back. He immediately tried to do so. She placed her leg behind his knee and shoved backward with all of her weight while pressing her knee into the back of his, causing it to buckle. As he fell, she held onto his arm and flipped him onto his stomach with his arm twisted tight behind his back.

She pulled out her phaser and stunned the injured one as he was trying to take aim with his undamaged hand. Then she pressed her knee between the shoulder blades of this one with all her weight to encourage him to stop struggling. She was too close to safely stun him with the phaser, so she raised the weapon backwards.

“Trust me, I’m saving your life.” She told him before hitting a precise spot on the back of his head to knock him out.

Kee pressed the pad to open the door and entered the darkened room to find a man’s silhouette in front of a window overlooking the concert hall where the hostages were gathered. It was Verhoef, but where was Bookter? She pointed her phaser at him. “Turn around slowly. Hands where I can see them.”

His only movement was to lift one hand to show her the detonator, and his thumb on the switch. “You might want to put that phaser down.”

She lowered the phaser and set it down on the desk next to her. “Ok. The phaser’s down.”

“You’re probably wondering why the Maquis would carry out such a blatant attack on the Federation. After all, we’ve always focused on Cardassian targets unless absolutely necessary.”

“The thought crossed my mind.”

“Would it surprise you to find that I’m not Maquis?” He paused for dramatic effect that fell flat, she’d gotten that far on her own. “Oh, I was, and so were some of my associates. Until a building full of innocent civilians ended up in the crossfire during a skirmish between the Maquis and Cardassians.”

He finally turned away from the window toward her. “The building was so badly damaged during the fight that it collapsed, killing everyone inside. They killed our own people. And those responsible continue to walk free.”

“And now you’re taking this opportunity to use the Federation to get back at the Maquis.” She said, finally putting it all together. “You’re framing them for this bombing.”

“I had planned to wait until we sent out a transmission taking credit and issuing our demands. But you’ve made that impossible. Doesn’t matter, though. It won’t take much of an investigation for Starfleet to point the finger at the Maquis, and when that happens, it’ll give them the excuse they need to come in and wipe them out.”

“You’re going to kill innocent civilians in order to take revenge for the Maquis killing innocent civilians?” She said mockingly. “Don’t you see it? You’re the same kind of monster that you’re accusing the Maquis of being.”

“But I won’t escape justice. I’ll be killed in the blast, too.”

“That’s not justice, it’s revenge.” She wasn’t getting through, she needed to dig. “Look, I know what it’s like to lose someone to a senseless tragedy.” She thought about her brother. “For their death to be considered nothing more than collateral damage. To wonder if the shot that did it came from the enemy or the people who were supposed to be on your side.” She came closer to him, almost within striking distance. “But what you’re doing will not bring justice. All it does is increase the death toll. You will die a murderer, not a champion of justice.”

“What I am doesn’t matter.” He turned back to the window and she saw her chance.

She rushed toward him, grabbing his arm and wrenching it backward. He lurched back and together they slammed into the desk. Kee held onto his arm and smashed his knuckles against the desk, causing him to lose his grip on the detonator. It went clattering away.

Verhoef grabbed the front of her shirt and pulled her closer to slam his knee into her stomach, then hit her chin with the heel of his hand.

She stepped back and he threw another punch but she dodged and grabbed his arm, pulling it toward her and hit the side of his elbow with the heel of her hand. As he reacted to the pain she twisted around and grabbed his back to knee him in the gut.

While still bent over he swung a punch at her stomach, causing her bend and he reached up and wrapped his hands around her throat.

She placed her hand over his face and pushed his head back and to the side to break his hold, finally pushing him off balance and he fell backward into her knee.

As he fell, he held on to her, pulling her down and he rolled on top of her, straddling her waist and bending over her.

She reached over his right shoulder and bunched up the back of his shirt in her right hand, then grabbed the back of his shirt on the other side with her right hand and slipped her left arm over to the other side of his neck. Ending up with her arms crisscrossed in front of his neck, she squeezed until his consciousness began to fade. Then she rolled him off to the side and kept up the pressure until he was nearly unconscious before letting go and flipped him over onto his stomach, holding his wrists tight behind his back.

Suddenly voices came through the door and Kee reached for the phaser she’d set down on the desk, but it was too far.

Cadda burst into the room, flanked by two Starfleet officers. Cadda quickly explained, “They’re on our side. Joial was able to release the forcefields.”

One of the officers pulled a pair of restraints from somewhere behind him and bent down to secure Verhoef’s wrists behind his back. Kee backed away and bent over, resting her hands on her knees to catch her breath. She felt a fist tap against her shoulder and looked up to see Cadda’s lopsided smile.

* * *

Auxiliary Security Chief Neason immediately ordered Kee back onto active duty and authorized her temporary reassignment to the New France colony’s security force until new personnel could be brought in to replace the Maquis defectors. She’d ended up staying a week past when she planned on leaving.

Unfortunately, her duties didn’t give her much time to spend with Cadda and Joial like she’d hoped. They walked her to the transport hub and when they arrived, Cadda pressed her forehead against Kee’s affectionately. “I’ll miss you. Come home sometime, won’t you?”

“I will.” She promised and turned to Joial who wrapped his arms around her for a tight hug. She squeezed back, resting her forehead against his chest for a moment.

Finally, he let go and pulled back. “Don’t let these gold shoulders get too heavy for you.”

Kee smiled, then searched for something to break the tension. “You two are so dramatic! We’ll talk on subspace in a few days.” She said drawing a chuckle from both of them. Then with more seriousness, “I’ll miss you both.”

With that she stepped onto the transporter platform. She’d had a chance to work alongside Joial and Cadda one more time to stop a mass murder and all she had to exchange for it was a couple of weeks of double shifts. Best trade ever.

* * *

Three weeks later the Cardassians joined the Dominion and the Maquis were wiped out.


	7. Your Purpose

_2373, Starfleet Academy Year 2_

Kee picked at the last of the food on her plate. Sophomore cadets had been returning from their field assignments for a few weeks. Even without classes, most of them had kept busy finishing up final assignments and reports from their field study posts.

With all of that work, she’d expected her birthday to pass unnoticed, but she had no such luck. At least they’d had the good sense not to throw some ridiculous party, but had still insisted on taking her out to dinner.

She turned her attention back to the conversation around the table and smiled, it was good to be back with her friends after being apart for so long.

Maggie, Loren, Jack and Lweha had been sharing stories about why they had decided to enter their respective fields of study. Jack was finishing his, which was pretty similar to the rest. His parents were Starfleet officers, he grew up in this lifestyle and at a certain point in his childhood he’d sparked an interest in engineering, which apparently included taking apart and putting together a number of pieces of equipment in his family’s quarters and around their ship.

All four of them had told their stories while Kee remained content to only listen. As close as the five cadets had grown, she still always felt like an outsider, unsure about what and how much to share about herself, never very comfortable sharing things that were so very different than what they had experienced. Give her a problem to solve or a bad guy to track down and she could do it, but social situations were… difficult.

Apparently noticing that she had yet to tell her story, the four of them turned in unison to face her. “Well? What about you, Kee? Why did you choose security?” Jack asked.

She shrugged, “It’s what I’m good at.” She said, hoping that would be enough.

“Nope, not this time.” Maggie said, seeming to read her mind, as though she was the Betazoid in the group. “There had to be a moment, some event when you knew that, Starfleet or otherwise, you wanted to work in security or defense or something like that. Was it when you joined the Resistance?”

Kee sighed, already pinpointing that moment. “No, it was a while after that.” She paused, hoping again that they’d be satisfied, but they just waited, it didn’t look like she was going to get out of it this time.

Reluctantly she began, “I’d been with them for, oh, about a year and a half. I’d been at Ren’s side, training, almost constantly that whole time. He and I had gone out to meet a contact. Only, the contact had been picked up by the Cardassians and forced to give away our meeting place and time. They were there waiting for us.”

\- - -

Kee glanced uncertainly up at Ren as she walked quickly to keep up with his stride. His expression was relaxed, his chin was level, his shoulders back and he kept a brisk but calm pace. If she didn’t know better, she’d have thought nothing was wrong, but it very much was. His hands were bound behind his back like hers, they were flanked by five Cardassians and every few steps she could feel the tip of a phaser prod at her back.

How could he be so calm? She wondered, even as she clung to that calm like a lifeline. Without it, she’d have broken down already. Her heart pounded so hard it seemed to fill her chest, but she emulated his manner as best she could.

They’d been led through city streets and into a Cardassian building that was officially called a “peace-keeping facility” but everyone knew what really went on there. There were several Cardassian-run facilities grouped together; a shipping warehouse, the records office in which her father and uncle had once worked, some kind of administration building and a few others that she didn’t know the purpose. Joial had told her that all of them were connected via underground tunnels to be used during the winter so the Cardassians could avoid going out into the cold.

Once inside the complex, they were taken down a corridor to a holding area.

Just the touch of rough, cold Cardassian hands on hers made her skin crawl, but the phaser pointed at her chest compelled her to remain still while they released her bonds. Once free, her impulse to fight back was cut short by a shove toward the holding cell. The toe of her boot sharply struck the lip of the force field emitter, she stumbled but she managed to keep her footing, barely aware of the sound of the force field behind her.

Ren sat on the single bench, resting his elbows on his knees and rubbing the stubble on his chin, not watching but surely aware of all but one of the Cardassians leaving the room.

She sat next to him and waited, not trusting her voice enough to say anything, simply drawing as much strength from him as she could.

After a few moments he began pointing out some unique characteristics of the holding cell that would identify its design era and type. He never seemed to miss an opportunity to teach. She thought he’d have made an excellent educator under different circumstances, teaching mathematics, science or history instead of how to be a freedom fighter. This time his instruction ended with the grim conclusion that this cell had no weaknesses or design flaws that he knew of.

The guard sitting at the nearby desk suddenly realized they were talking and he barked, “Silence!”

Kee and Ren sat in silence for quite some time. Even without speaking, at least his presence was comforting to her. She continued to admire his calm and hoped that someday, somehow, she’d master it too.

When three soldiers entered the holding area, Ren whispered to her, “Stay there, don’t do anything.”

She obeyed.

They lowered the force field and one of them pointed a phaser at Ren, “You, step forward.”

He slowly stood and stepped out of the cell. Her stomach tightened as they bound his wrists again and led him away while the guard who’d been at the desk reactivated the force field, cutting her off from him.

Now, alone in the cell, she fought harder than ever to keep her emotions in check. The other members of their cell wouldn’t realize something was wrong for another day at least. No one was going to come for them before then, and by then it might be too late.

Panic began to creep up her spine like something physical that would strangle her. Her hands shook, her stomach felt sick and tears filled her eyes as the thought became real that she may never see him again.

She fought the panic away and just as she was regaining control, she heard Ren’s voice somewhere distant, but it was not a reassuring sound, he was screaming in pain.

The panic returned and she couldn’t fight it away this time. She covered her face with her hands and pressed her elbows against her thighs. Tears flowed freely and her entire body shook.

\- - -

The screaming went on for longer than she could have imagined, gradually growing weaker and then it suddenly stopped. Fear gripped her insides and she waited, hardly able to breathe.

Time passed so slowly and with every moment she felt more certain that she’d never see him again.

She looked up with a start when she heard the door open to see two soldiers dragging Ren back to the cell.

She stood but kept back when they lowered the force field. They would have dumped his unconscious body onto the floor, but Kee rushed forward and caught him, just barely. She struggled under his weight but managed to lower him gently onto the bench.

Some part of her mind registered the sound of the force field reactivating but she ignored it, all of her attention focused on her mentor.

His face was bruised and his clothes covered in blood but there were no wounds, only freshly healed scars covering his chest and stomach. His hair was sweaty against his forehead. When she pushed it away from his face her fingers came away red with blood. She looked and found a gash on his scalp but the blood was dark and not flowing anymore.

She knelt by his side feeling small and helpless but keeping protective watch anyway.

\- - -

“I knelt by his side for a long time.” Kee continued. “And I knew then somehow that I would spend my life defending and protecting people. It wasn’t a choice that I made, or something I really even wanted, just the truth and I knew it then.” She looked up to see her friends completely focused on her, waiting. She feared she’d shared too much, that she’d shocked them with the reality of her life at that time.

“So?” Jack said, finally. “What happened? Did he survive? How’d you make it out?”

“Oh.” She said with relief, realizing that she had left them hanging in the middle of a story they couldn’t possibly have known the ending to. She considered just cutting it off there with the most brief explanation they’d let her get away with, but they’d always been considerate of her privacy. She decided for once to open up to them. “Um, he drifted in and out of consciousness for a long time. All I could do was wait and hope.” She paused, the memory still sent chills down her spine.

“Hope he’d wake up?” Lweha prompted.

But Kee let out a short laugh without any amusement to it, “Hope he wouldn’t. I knew as soon as he woke, they’d come for him again. But he did eventually.”

\- - -

Ren’s eyes slowly began to open, and this time they focused on her.

She kept her face a mask of calm, pushing the fear and dread away into the corner of her mind, and forced herself to look him in the eye.

When he spoke, his voice was a coarse whisper. “Kee. If you find a way out of here, just go, don’t come back for me.”

She allowed the corner of her mouth to creep up sarcastically, “Seriously? You’re going to pull the old ‘leader selflessly tells his subordinate to leave him behind’ cliché?”

His lips matched her half-smile, “It’s not unselfish at all. I’ve spent a lot of time on you and I don’t want it to go to waste.” The smile spread the rest of the way across his face and the corners of his eyes wrinkled.

To her surprise she laughed, but then felt her smile fade. He’d trained her too well for that. “You would never leave somebody behind and neither will I.”

He closed his eyes and shook his head, “I mean it, Kee. If they don’t break me soon, they’ll bring you in and use you to make me talk. That can’t happen.”

The door opened again, cutting off anything she was going to say. She felt her back stiffen but she stayed by his side when the force field deactivated.

“Out of the way!” One of the Cardassians shouted at her.

When she didn’t move, he shoved her to the side where she landed on the floor and he grabbed Ren off of the bench.

As they pulled him up, she sprang to her feet, an overwhelming feeling of defiance welling up inside of her, overwriting her sense of reason.

“_Geshekh ba karad’em!_” She spat the insult at them in their own language, something about being the offspring of a whore and an ape.

The guard who had pushed her turned around with the butt of his phaser rifle raised. He smashed the weapon against her jaw then into her stomach.

Pain exploded in her face and her abdomen, causing her to drop to her knees, doubled over. She looked up to see the force field reactivate and the door close behind the Cardassians and Ren.

She wanted to scream but didn’t dare give them the satisfaction, instead she pushed her fingers through her hair and, remaining there on the floor, focused on the real pain in her body. At least that was something she could manage.

Too soon, screaming filled the air.

Ren.

This time instead of panic closing in on her, she felt rage. Dark, black rage.

She stood up, pacing the cell several times, feeling like a caged animal. She struggled to control the emotion, reminding herself that it was no more useful than panic and made herself drop down onto the bench.

She calmed her nerves by focusing her mind on escape. If the cell had no mechanical or systemic weakness, the only option was user error. She watched the guard at the desk out of the corner of her eye. He sat motionless, studying something on his computer interface, but she was certain he was paying close attention to her.

Her young age caused a lot of people to underestimate her, but Cardassians weren’t stupid, they knew that Resistance members her age could be just as dangerous as those what were older. And yet… her age might possibly be the only thing she could use to her advantage. The question was, how? She needed to make him lower the force field so she could get to his phaser, the rest she could probably improvise.

As her plan began to take shape in her mind she stood and moved to the right side of the cell where the guard would have a harder time seeing her. She prepared herself by allowing the fear she’d been fighting to show through in her face and posture. She ducked her head and hunched her shoulders. As she balled her left hand into a fist, she saw the guard shift in his chair to see her better. Committing herself to her plan, she raised her left hand to him, palm down as though offering him something in her hand.

“Hey.” She called to him in the thinnest, smallest voice she could manage.

“What do you have?” He stood and approached the cell, curious about what she’d supposedly found.

She kept her eyes on the floor and her arm outstretched, allowing her hand to shake. After considering her for long moments, he lowered the force field. She took a fearful step back, forcing him to step into the cell with her. He reached out and she placed her hand on his brushing against his cold, dry skin, her fingers still curled around nothing.

She summoned every bit of courage inside of her, grabbed his wrist with all her strength, raised her right arm behind her and smashed the heel of her hand into his nose. Bone and cartilage gave way under the blow.

He reeled back, reaching for his phaser, but she grabbed it off of his belt. She kicked him in his armored chest, sending him stumbling back against the wall then raised the phaser and shot him directly in the face. Alarms immediately began to blare.

She didn’t wait for his body to crumple to the floor before rushing out of the cell. The access conduits would be her best bet for moving through the building undetected, the duranium composite the Cardassians used would shield her biosigns.

The access point for the conduit in this room was a grate in the ceiling.

“Perfect.” She muttered cynically, tucking the phaser into the back of her waistband. She crouched and jumped as high as she could, just barely gripping her fingers through the holes in the grate that immediately began to cut into her flesh. After shifting back and forth to get a better grip she swung her legs up, kicking the next panel loose. Again, she swung her legs up and into the conduit, hooking her feet around a sturdy piece of machinery.

Once she was sure her feet were secure, she released her fingers and allowed her body to hang up-side-down for a moment to catch her breath, then lifted herself high enough to grab ahold of the sides of the opening and pulled herself inside.

As she gulped air, she slid the grate back into place.

She crawled quickly through the access conduits on her hands and knees, leaving smudges of blood wherever the cuts on her fingers touched. If… when?... the Cardassians realized she was in there, they’d have a hard time keeping up with her in their bulky armor. If they could fit at all, that is. There were some places that were a tight squeeze even for her.

She heard Ren scream again, it was louder in here, the sound echoing through the network of passages. She felt sick at the sound of her mentor, her source of strength in agony. 

_Hang on, Ren._ She willed him to feel her coming for him.

After turning a few corners, she spotted a distinctive bundle of cables that gave her the beginning of a plan. She followed it along the tunnel until the cables entered a junction box. Joial had shown her this once, it was an access point for the security system.

She ran her fingers around the sides of the box and found a locking mechanism on one side. Following his instruction, she selected a specific cable from the bundle and wrenched it out of the box. She backed up and shielded her face with one hand while gently touching the end of the live wire to the lock which sparked wildly for a moment then went dead.

With the box unlocked, she pried it open with her bloodied finger tips. It gave way to reveal a network of computer pathways, cables and isolinear rods. She reached in and began rerouting some of the pathways and moving isolinear rods around.

The blaring alarm klaxon and Ren’s weakening screams pulled at her concentration and she struggled to focus.

_Come on, Joial, how do I do this?_

She did her best to remember what her uncle had shown her and prayed that she wasn’t about to electrocute herself. Or worse, trip some kind of security device that would render her unconscious and she’d wake up back in… She pushed the thought away and focused on disabling the security grid.

When the small display inside the box showed “Error Number 2209” she breathed in relief, then began crawling down the access tunnel again. Her knees were hurting now, but she kept moving, watching for another item that could be useful to her. When she saw a cluster of mechanisms mounted on the wall, she sat cross-legged and looked more closely for a certain device.

After a moment, she found what she was looking for behind the other equipment: an auxiliary interchange backup unit to the environmental systems. She grabbed the palm-sized component and pulled it out, breaking its connection.

Placing it in her lap, she forced the casing open and pulled out a small, green cylinder about the size of her thumb. The tiny plasma tube had something to do with regulating the power flow, or so Joial had told her. That didn’t matter, the reason she wanted it was, when broken, it would ignite and give off a bright flash of light. Which made it a portable and somewhat easy-to-find method of distraction.

With the plasma tube tucked in her pocket, she sat for a moment with her eyes closed, listening for Ren. When she heard him, she turned and began crawling toward the sound. At each intersection she stopped and waited, moving closer and closer to the source.

As she drew near, she could also hear Cardassian voices. She entered a section where it sounded like they were right below her and she peeked through the ceiling grate. When she saw the scene below her she nearly screamed. She covered her mouth and lurched back away from what she saw.

They had Ren manacled to a table and they were using a hooked blade to cut into his skin across his chest and stomach. The bloody, dripping stripes seared themselves into her vision.

She closed her eyes and tried to wipe away the memory. He screamed again and she shut her eyes as tightly as she could. Her heart pounded so hard she could hear it in her ears and tears seeped out the corners of her eyes.

With shaking hands, she crept forward, willing herself not to panic again. She avoided looking at Ren, instead focusing on the Cardassians. In addition to the two that were torturing him, there were four guards standing around the room with their weapons drawn. They must think the entire cell is here to rescue him. She thought. If they were expecting a full assault, not a single escapee, that would give her an advantage.

She slipped the plasma tube out of her pocket, pulled the phaser out and shifted her body so that she was sitting just up to the edge of the grate. When she was in place she breathed in deeply through her nose and out slowly through her mouth. Before she could change her mind, she kicked the grate out of place, threw down the plasma tube and jumped down with her arm over her eyes to block the blinding light of the plasma tube.

The tube hit the floor a fraction of a second before she did and flashed brightly. When her feet touched the floor, she tucked and rolled to reduce the impact, staying crouched when she came upright. Phaser fire lanced through the air above her head as the Cardassians fired blindly towards where they thought their targets would be.

Keeping low, she raised her phaser and took out three of the guards, then rolled to another position as the remaining guard and interrogators blasted the spot where she’d been, locating her from the sound of her phaser. She fired again, dispatching the rest of them.

Without missing a beat, she turned and fired into the door’s control panel to disable it. Then hurried over to release Ren’s hands and feet. He was dazed, either from the agony or her plasma tube. She released his bonds and bent over him, “Ren!” she called, snapping her fingers in front of her face. “Ren!” After a few moments he seemed to realize she was there, she wrapped his open shirt around his wounds to protect them and helped him to his feet, grabbing a dermal regenerator from the table of instruments.

She left Ren to support himself against a console and bent to pick up a tricorder off of one of the dead interrogators, stuffed it into her pocket along with the dermal regenerator, then moved to another console to tap in some commands. “Everything’s locked out.”

“Because you set off the alarms, Kee.” Ren said weakly, stating the obvious. “Did you disable the security grid while you were up there?” He nodded to the access conduit she had dropped out of.

“Of course.” She said lightly and began looking around for some piece of equipment she could use to stop or slow down the Cardassians so they could escape down the corridor. After a few minutes of searching she found what she was looking for, a plasma infuser and a neurolytic restraint which just happened to use components made of tri-nitrogen chloride. She opened the casings of both devices and began assembling a crude plasma grenade.

Her anxiety peaked as she began to hear sounds of Cardassian soldiers on the other side of the door. She stole a glance to assure herself that it was still closed and saw that Ren had managed to grab a phaser off of one of the dead guards. Her fingers quickly followed the practiced movements to build the explosive. At least this was something she’d done dozens of times and she felt confident she could complete it quickly. There was a clunk on the other side of the door as the Cardassians attached something to it to force it open.

After connecting the newly combined components to the infuser’s activation switch, she stuffed it into her pocket and grabbed a second phaser off of one of the guards. She moved over to Ren and lifted him up with her shoulder for support, wrapping her arm around his waist to move closer to the door. They took up positions on either side of the door as the soldiers on the other side began forcing the doors apart. When the opening in the middle of the door was wide enough to fit a phaser through, she reached over and fired blindly into the crack, rewarded by the sound of two bodies hitting the ground.

Together she and Ren fired through the widening opening to clear the section of corridor just outside of the doors, then she pulled the doors the rest of the way open. She leaned part way out and fired farther down the corridor to push them back past the juncture and pulled out her plasma grenade. She pressed the key, tossed it down the corridor and leaned back inside the interrogation room just as green plasma fire licked past the door.

As soon as the plasma fire had retreated enough, she helped Ren out into the corridor and together they hobbled down the other direction. She wished she had a whole bag of plasma grenades like she would have if this had been a rescue mission coming in from the outside. But phasers were all they had now and they’d have to do.

They crept up to the next intersection and phaser fire greeted their approach. She pulled her extra phaser out of her belt and keyed in commands that would disable the safety mechanism and set it to overload. She slid the phaser part way down the corridor towards the Cardassians then leaned out and fired at it.

The explosion shook the ground. She managed to keep Ren on his feet but the blast knocked out her hearing. In spite of the fact that the only sound she could hear for the moment was ringing in her ears, she rushed across the charred intersection to the corridor on the other side, pulling Ren quickly but gently and firing at the few soldiers still standing on the other side.

A few meters farther down the corridor she saw a door marked with Cardassian characters that loosely translated to “underground passage”. She hit the door control to open it and they ducked inside. Across from the door was a spiral staircase leading down. She stopped to pull the tricorder out of her pocket and began tapping at the interface to set the device to emit a dispersion field. Once they left the area where she’d disabled the security grid, they’d need to mask their biosigns. It responded with an error code. She tapped the commands again, still nothing.

Ren looked over her shoulder and pointed to part of the interface. “You forgot to initiate the DRX module.”

Kee let out a frustrated sound and tried the sequence again, remembering the extra step. This time it obediently initiated the dispersion field and she began moving down the staircase with her phaser ready. Ren followed, gripping the handrail as he lowered himself down each step. The base of the staircase opened up directly into a long, dark tunnel.

Being summer time, the tunnels weren’t currently in use. She waited for Ren to join her at the bottom of the stairs and again propped him up with her shoulder. She activated the tricorder again and called up a map of the tunnels choosing a route that would take them to the shipping warehouse.

As they began to move in that direction Ren’s strength gave out and he dropped to his knees. She crouched next to him, keeping him from falling to the floor. In the dim light from the tricorder she could just barely see his face. He was growing weaker and weaker.

She quickly scanned him with the tricorder and it confirmed that he’d lost a dangerous amount of blood, a fact that was reinforced by the dark patches of his blood soaked into her clothes. She helped him sit down to lean back against the wall and pulled open his shirt. Then she used the dermal regenerator to heal the worst of his lacerations to slow the blood loss and tucked it back into her pocket.

“Come on, back on your feet. We’ve got to keep moving.” She said, getting ready to help him up.

“No, I’m slowing you down. I’ll stay here and cover you if they follow us down here.”

“_Karad_ Ren!” She cursed at him, “If I had any intention of leaving here without you, I would have done it before dropping into that interrogation room! Now move!” She pulled him to his feet and this time he cooperated.

“This is treason.”

“Yeah… well, we're outlaws anyway, what're you going to do about it?” Without giving him a chance to argue she guided him along the tunnel. The straight passage and smooth walls would give them no cover if they were followed so she hurried him as fast as he could manage, using the tricorder as a dim flashlight.

When they reached the staircase that would take them up into the warehouse, she used the tricorder on a passive scan only to check for life signs in the immediate area above them. There were none. She drew her phaser and climbed the stairs to find a small room similar to the top of the staircase they’d used a few minutes earlier.

She stepped part way back down the stairs and helped Ren climb the rest of the way up. Then she keyed the door open a crack to peer out into the warehouse. There were Cardassian civilians moving quickly back and forth bringing supplies in for storage and delivering other goods out to the cargo transport unit situated just beyond the large, open bay doors.

Resisting the urge to sprint directly to freedom she waited and watched. Soon she saw a pair of soldiers scanning the area with their tricorders. She involuntarily shrunk back as though that would help prevent them from picking up their biosigns. If their dispersion field wasn’t functioning properly, they’d know it soon enough, but the soldiers scanned right past their hiding place and moved on, stopping and questioning some of the civilian workers.

Once the soldiers had moved out of sight, Kee slid the door open just far enough for them to squeeze through. Together they crept along the narrow space between the wall and stacks of shipping containers, timing their actions to the movements of the workers. They made slow progress toward the exterior wall. Through the door they could see that the sun would be setting soon, giving them the cover of darkness, but the transport unit looked like it might be full and ready to lift off before then.

The pair of rebels crept closer to the last pallet before the door. Kee stole a look at Ren who looked like he was only still conscious through pure force of will, then she peered around the edge of the containers. The Cardassian civilian who looked to be in charge began approving a report on a pad.

“I think they’re wrapping it up, we need to move, soon.” She muttered to Ren so quietly that he’d have to read her lips. She turned her attention back to the workers. One last large stack of boxes was being guided toward the transport on an anti-grav sled. Kee reached back blindly to grasp Ren’s arm and, as the stack passed between them and the workers, they ran alongside it, out the door and dropped off the side of the ramp to the ground.

She paused only a moment, deciding what to do next. Then they crouch-ran with their backs tight up against the underside of the transport. When they could go no further using the transport as cover she stopped and looked at Ren. They were going to need to run at top speed into the woods and she wanted to make sure he could do it in his condition.

“I’m ready.” He told her.

“Ok…” She mentally ticked off a couple of seconds, “Go.” They dashed out from under their cover towards the relative safety of the woods, Kee urging him on.

“Hey!” Someone from inside the warehouse called out. They’d been spotted. A few seconds later phaser blasts hit the ground next to them. Still running, she turned and fired back with one hand, the other still clutched around Ren’s arm. At last they reached the edge of the forest and tore into the underbrush. They skidded down a steep hill and wound around trees and boulders finally diving into a stand of large ferns. Ren ended up flat on his back and Kee face down next to him both gasping for breath. The frons of the ferns around them arced over their heads, effectively concealing them in the dim dusk.

Soldiers rushed by, close enough that she could have reached out and grabbed one of them. They laid motionless, carefully controlling their breathing until the Cardassians moved on.

Heart pounding, she suppressed an absurd burst of laughter. When she was sure they were all out of ear shot she sat part way up, reached for the dermal regenerator again and without a word pulled open his shirt to finish healing the rest of his wounds. She worked slowly and silently in the dark, carefully concealing the light from the instrument.

When she was finished, Ren took it from her, and placed his finger under her chin. He gently turned her face to the right and raised the dermal regenerator to her jaw to heal the bruise where the soldier had struck her in the cell. Her skin tingled as it did its work and when he was done, he let his arm drop. The dermal regenerator tumbled out of his hand, but she retrieved it.

In the moonlight she could just see his half-lidded eyes. The escape had been draining for him in his condition. She searched her memory for bits of advice from her mother. For blood loss she needed to keep him hydrated until more could be done…

\- - -

“We managed to hide in the woods until we could rendezvous with the rest of the cell the next day. Ren had lost a lot of blood and needed a transfusion.” She had, of course, glossed over or entirely left out the worst details.

Her mind recalled the image of the two of them sitting together as her blood flowed directly into his veins using an improvised device Ilwea kept in his pack for such occasions.

As she finished her story her friends sat in stunned silence for several seconds before Jack blurted out. “Wait, you did all that when you were only thirteen? You’ve got to be making it up.” He said, evidentially having done the math.

Kee only shook her head solemnly.

“I couldn’t even face the Ogre of Fire in the Flotter holoprograms when I was thirteen.”

“You still can’t face the Ogre of Fire.” Loren teased.

Jack only shrugged without denying it. “My point stands.”

When the others murmured their agreement, she brushed it off. “I just did what I had to.” They didn’t seem convinced, “Can we talk about something else?” She asked.


	8. Lessons

_2374, Starfleet Academy Year 3_

“Here, grab me here like this and I’ll show you.” Kee placed Loren’s hands on her shoulders and waited for him to grasp her collar.

It had taken longer than he had intended to take her up on her offer for self-defense lessons, but here they were. He awkwardly curled his fingers around the fabric, but she seemed completely comfortable with this kind of contact, and looking around the gym at other pairs in various stages and types of sparring, it made sense that she would be. This is what she spent a good portion of her time doing.

After testing to make sure he was holding on securely, she set up the scenario, “So, you’ve got somebody holding you like this.” She patted his wrists, indicating she was playing that part of him and he was the opponent. “You’re not going to be able to just break his grip.” Again, she demonstrated trying to pull his hands away.

“What you need to do is use leverage. Reach across like this,” she passed her left arm over his right and grabbed his left arm just below the elbow. “Then your right hand goes here.” She took his right wrist firmly with her right.

Even before she made any move, he had a strong sense he’d already be defeated if this was real combat.

“Like this, you can break your opponent’s grip.” She pressed her left elbow into his right, forcing his arm to bend and her collar slipped out of his fingers, then with both hands on his left arm, she rotated it upward and he lost his grip with that hand as well.

“See?” She said, already placing his hands back on her shoulders. “Now, since I’m smaller than you, so I would follow that by pulling you off of your center of balance and over mine.”

She demonstrated her point by breaking his grip again. She followed the move by spinning around while pulling his arm over her shoulder with her. She bent low and hauled him by the arm forward so he was leaning over her then held there.

At this close contact, he couldn’t help but catch her scent. Not perfumed at all, just her, and it immediately blanked out his sense of all else.

“Feel how I have control here?” She said.

_Did she ever?_ He found the thought suddenly in his mind.

She pushed him back upright until he regained his balance. “Here you’re over your center of balance.” She pulled him forward again. “And here you’re over mine. And from this position, I can throw you down or turn and strike.” She mimed driving her knee into his stomach in slow motion to make her point before she stepped back.

“Ready to try it?” She asked.

“Sure.” He said uncertainly.

Without waiting for more confirmation, she reached up and grabbed his shirt tightly. “You’re bigger, so the follow-through will be different, but the first part is the same.”

He hesitated, trying to recall what she had done before. Left hand over and grab her right forearm then he wrapped his right hand around her wrist, surprised at how delicate it felt considering the torque she was able to apply. She, in turn, waited patiently until his hands were in position.

“Press your elbow into mine.” She said when he was settled.

Doubtfully, he followed her instructions. She returned the pressure, not making it too easy, but with some effort, he was surprised to see that it worked. He forced her elbow to bend and she lost her grip on his shirt.

Without waiting for her to tell him the next step, he twisted her other wrist away, breaking her hold there as well.

“Good.” She told him, pleased, and his world lit up. “Next, I want you to step your right foot forward past me.” She nodded to his right side. When he stepped forward, she continued, “And push me backwards so that your weight is over your right foot, but mine is behind me.”

He bent her backward as she said, feeling the moment when her body weight was entirely under his control and trying desperately not to think of other situations where he might hold her this way.

Something seemed to catch between them for a moment. Or maybe it was just his imagination. Him looking down at her in his arms and her looking up for a breath or two. Then the spell was broken.

“Of course, if you let me stay here, it’s simple enough for me to step back out of the hold, so you’d need to follow through immediately with a throw or a strike, but that’s another lesson.” She stepped back and straightened up. “Let’s do it again.”

She grabbed his shirt a little more roughly this time, and he hurried to respond, following the same process again: grab her wrist and forearm, bend her elbow, twist and lean. It seemed a little more natural the second time.

“Again.” She ordered.

And again.

The repetitive rough handling and intimate contact began to have an unintended effect on him. As he stepped forward and dipped her back, he paused in position for a moment. Her exhaled breath whiffed across his sweat-damp skin and that was the end of his control.

He quickly straightened back up, but she’d already noticed his physiological response pressed against her hip. She took a step back, clearing her throat to hide the shy smirk as she gave him some space.

Mortified, he sputtered something resembling an apology, not quite able to make eye contact.

“It’s okay, it actually happens pretty often.” She said, but the embarrassed quirk of her lips undermined the statement.

Desperately trying to find somewhere for his eyes to focus, he spotted the chronometer on the wall. How had it gotten that late? “Damnit, I’m going to be late for class.” He said, starting to gather his things, relieved for the way out, but hoping it didn’t sound like an excuse.

“Finish this up tomorrow?” She asked as though everything was normal.

“Yeah, sounds good.” He said as he hurried away.

* * *

Kee tapped furiously at her padd in one hand, her lunch mostly ignored in the other hand. She was going to get the hang of this somehow. The exercise was to reroute power systems in a simulated ship and get critical systems back online after a catastrophic failure, but no matter what she tried, she kept running into dead ends or cross circuiting something and destroying the ship. Which, she realized too late, was exactly what she had just done.

She dropped the padd down onto the grass with a frustrated sound.

“Problem?” Loren asked, looking up from his own padd. He was seated cross-legged on the lush grass facing her.

“You know how Starfleet engineers are known to be these unbelievable miracle workers?” When he nodded, she sighed, “There’s a reason I’m going into security.” She had zero aptitude for this stuff. She could track multiple factors in the heat of battle while still conscious of details like her power cell’s charge and the locations of her companions. But trying to navigate a maze of circuitry seemed to be beyond her.

He chuckled wordlessly and kept eating his lunch. “You’ll have to pass that eventually.”

“I know. And I get why cross training is important, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.” She mumbled the last part and finally took another bite of her hasperat. Well, it wasn’t true hasperat, she’d modified the replicator pattern to include some local Human vegetables that she’d discovered. Jack had suggested that she try including Klingon _Hegh_ peppers, too, but she couldn’t bring herself to try something that was marinated in fermented _gagh_ mucus. So, she kept to the Bajoran/Human pairing for now.

With another heavy sigh, she picked up the padd and restarted the sequence. Maybe if she tried routing through the replicator systems… Just as she tapped the sequence, the system fed back and destroyed her virtual ship faster than any other attempt.

“Mid-chain-_shart!_”

Loren snorted a laugh just before he was about to take another bite.

“Sorry. I’m trying to curse less.”

“I think that still counts.” He said, not even trying to hide his amusement.

“Trust me, it’s better than what was happening in my head.” She said deadpan.

“I think,” he began as he set down his own lunch and coursework and stood, “you need to take a break.” He reached his hand down to her.

She set down her food and hesitantly took his hand, unsure what he had in mind.

As soon as she took his hand, he lifted her to her feet and quickly stepped several paces ahead to an open area of grass.

“You taught me some self-defense. I’ll teach you something.”

“Like what?” She said uncertainly.

“Whatever you want.” He toed off his boots and slipped off his uniform jacket, revealing his amply muscled arms and she had to tear her eyes away just to be able to think straight.

“Um, what’s that thing where you do a sideways flip with no hands?”

“An aerial?” He demonstrated by effortlessly throwing his body in a graceful, gravity-defying arc without his hands ever touching the ground.

“Yes, that.” It seemed impossible and she’d been aching to know the secret of it since the first time she saw him do it. Besides, one never knew when something like that might come in handy during combat.

“Oh, that’s easy. You start out with a cartwheel.”

She stared at him blankly, still making sure to avoid looking directly at his arms, but she had no clue what he was talking about.

“You know, like this.” He put his arms over his head, took a couple of quick steps and rolled from feet to hands to feet as though it was the most natural thing for a humanoid to move in such a way. “Lead with your non-dominant hand and push hard with your leading leg to give you plenty of lift.”

She was a trained fighter, conscious of balance and gravity and how to command her body. She could do it. She kicked off her boots, held up her arms, estimated the momentum she’d need, took a couple of strong steps and threw herself sideways onto her hands.

Her elbows immediately buckled in the unfamiliar position and a split second later she found herself on her back, unsure exactly what had gone wrong.

“This was supposed to make me feel better?” She huffed from her position on the ground.

He snorted a laugh, “It’s okay, everybody falls the first time. You just have to get the feel for it.”

Reluctantly, she picked herself up off the ground to try again. This time as she began the controlled tumble, she paid attention to front-back motion as well as sideways, keeping her body flat like she’d seen him do. She was shocked to feel her feet touch the ground. Even if the whole procedure had been entirely graceless, she bounced proudly to her feet.

“Good job, you learn fast. Do it a couple more times to make sure you have the feel for it.”

She repeated the movement twice more with her right leg automatically kicking up and over to add momentum. Each with the same result, feeling easier and more natural, and each one earning her a rewarding smile from Loren.

“Next, we’ll do it with just one arm. Which is your dominant hand?”

She held up her right hand.

“So, use the other arm, and we’ll tuck this one against your body.” He gently took hold of her wrist and pressed her arm against her chest while she reeled at the irrational thrill she felt at his use of the word ‘we’ in regard to any part of her body.

“You’ll need to throw more momentum into it.” He continued. “And I’ll help you make it over the first time.”

The pounding of her heart was only partly due to the thought of flinging herself through the air with only one arm to support her, mostly it was the scent of his cologne that reached her as he stepped close.

She took a few steps away then back and threw herself into the move, first landing on her outstretched arm, then as her weight passed over where she had no support, she felt his hand on her waist, holding her steady as her body rotated over and she landed back on her feet.

Despite the pride of her accomplishment, her sole focus for the first few seconds was the tingling sensation where he’d touched her.

Somehow, she managed to get back into position to do it again. This time without assistance, she threw her torso again, supporting with one hand, the other ready to catch her in case she failed.

But she didn’t fail… exactly. She felt her body’s pivot point somewhere in her abdomen, then made it the rest of the way over, but landed awkwardly on one knee.

Loren reached out a hand to help her up with a laugh, but she waved it off with a laugh of her own. “I’m fine.”

“Switch arms, now, and really work to drive with your leading leg and kick up with the other to improve your axis.” He suggested.

“Okay.” She said more to herself than to him and paused just long enough to adjust for what had gone wrong before, then stepped quickly to the left and leapt into the air just before the fingers of her right hand touched the grass. This time she felt in full control as her legs swung up and over, then landed only slightly awkwardly on the other side.

“Good! This time do it with no arms. And really throw everything into it.” He said, stepping close to help again.

On her own, Kee brought her arms to her chest, but hesitated. “I’m a little worried about kicking you.”

He smiled lightly, “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

She blew out a breath while she psyched herself up for it. A lot of momentum and proper speed would be needed to beat gravity. She flexed her knees to prepare and with one final exhale, she went for it. She stepped, bent and shoved upward with her legs.

Right away his hands were on her hips, steadying her and providing a pivot point. But as she came over, expecting her feet to touch down, she felt her body tumble backward. She managed to twist upright, getting one foot onto the ground and felt his hands grasp for hers, but they slipped apart and she fell back on the grass with a hard hit to her backside.

She let slip a small “Ow.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” She said, brushing the bits of grass off of her hands. “Let’s go again.” She pushed herself back to her feet.

“You sure? Most people don’t learn it all at once.”

“Most people aren’t me.” She mumbled, already getting into position.

“Do you want help again?” He offered.

“No, no. I can do this.” She’d done far more difficult things during her time in the Resistance, she’d been training as a Starfleet cadet for over two years, she could take down opponents more than twice her size, she could conquer this.

Loren backed up a few steps, crossing his arms with dubious look on his face.

“Don’t look at me that way.” She pointed playfully at him and deliberately ignored whatever his next facial expression was.

She went for it before she could consider otherwise. Two hard steps, drive the left leg while bending, hands ready just in case. Then kick up with her right leg and she found her arms naturally worked in cooperation with gyroscopic force to stabilize the arc and she landed on her toes on the other side. She had to take a couple of steps back to catch herself, but she’d done it. She felt downright giddy.

“That’s great! I’ve never seen anybody pick that up so fast.” He praised.

“That’s because I’m impulsive and cocky.” She breathed, even though she worked hard not to be those things.

“Keep working on it and it’ll be second nature. You can dazzle the bad guys while you cut ‘em down.”

His grin sparkled all the way to his eyes and fixed with hers. She was stuck in that moment for an eternity, pulled into his warmth and joy. The foot traffic on the nearby path seemed far away, the noise of overhead shuttles disappeared, it was only them in an empty expanse. It would be so easy to reach out and touch him.

But then reality landed and the noise and busyness of campus returned. The burdens of her past and the fear of that pain dropped like a wall between them. She could never open herself up to that pain again. Better not to even begin.

“I’d better get back to that simulation.” She muttered.

“Yeah,” He breathed, “That sim-ship isn’t going to destroy itself.”

She snorted a laugh and slugged him in the shoulder for the comment while she made her way back to where they’d been sitting.

* * *

The Barker-Watts-Patton movie nights had become legendary and so popular they were now strictly by invitation-only. Fortunately, Loren and Kee had gotten in on the ground floor and were always among the first to be called on.

This time around the movie was some poorly done invasion flick with aliens that looked exactly like Humans and a spaceship made of plywood. None of that mattered, though. It was the poorly written dialog, plot holes, discontinuity between night and day and the aliens’ outlandish superiority complex that were the butt of the jokes.

The movie was epically bad, the commentary hilarious, but what had captured the entirety of Loren’s attention were Kee’s socked toes that were tucked just under the edge of his thigh. Her legs were folded under her on the cushion next to him, but at some point, her feet had migrated toward him until she ended up in this intriguing position. The casual intimacy of it was almost as enticing as if she had reached over and slid her hand up his thigh.

He watched her out of the corner of his eye, careful not to interrupt her fun by staring, but also captivated by her smile as she took in twentieth century Earth’s idea of off-worlders. These times of free and open joy were few, but seemed to be getting more frequent. He liked to think he had at least a little to do with that. And as guarded as she was, for him to be graced with that smile was a privilege he secured every chance he got. 

The more time they spent together, the more he wanted… well, _more_. To hold her hand. To slip his arm around her. To touch his lips to hers. To… he stopped that line of thinking before it got out of hand. As far as he could tell, she had no interest in being anything more than friends.

Still, he _wanted_.

But it wasn’t just about what he wanted, she had to want it too. So, he would have to be content with their friendship, admiring and adoring her only in that context.

An uproar of laughter burst out of the group at some joke he’d missed, but he was okay with that, just appreciating her joy instead.


	9. Partners

_2374, Starfleet Academy Year 3_

Cadet Luce was starting to wear out, but Kee wasn’t about to let up on him. He’d insisted that he was going to beat her this time, but she couldn’t let that happen. She had a reputation, after all. She gave him a chance to stand up but instead he turned over and tried to sweep his legs under hers. She jumped back as he rolled back to his feet.

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Commander Baker talking to another officer who had just came in. That other officer is what had caught her attention. It had been seven years, but she’d recognize him anywhere. She’d only known him as Laru.

Pulling her back to the present, Luce struck her in the sternum with the heel of his hand. He followed through with the movement knocking her off her feet and onto her back.

She bounded back to her feet and lifted her arms to the side, “What the hell, Luce?”

He shrugged, “Clock’s still tickin’. You weren’t paying attention.”

With that he rushed forward to grabbed her shoulders and lifted her up, pinning her against the forcefield that separated them from the other pairs of sparring cadets. She lifted her arms between them and knocked his hands to the side and off of her shoulders, then punched his chest.

She threw another punch but he dodged to the side, her concentration had already been thrown off. Her momentum caused her to overshoot and he grabbed her upper arm, spun her around and threw her against the forcefield again. He moved so fast that she found herself face down on the mat. He had her right arm twisted behind her and his chest pressed against her back, using his entire body weight to pin her down.

Kee refrained from swearing, out loud at least. With seconds ticking away until she had officially lost the match, she twisted and pushed against his weight, but he had her arm locked behind her back.

For one last, desperate effort she arched her body and wrapped her legs backwards around his. With her new leverage, she twisted and flipped him off of her but he held her arm tight. Pain shot through her shoulder as connective tissue was stretched past its limit and began to tear, but she ignored it.

She took the fraction of a second where he was on his back, stunned, to twist his outstretched arm which caused him to roll onto his side. Then she pressed her knee against his upper back and pulled his arm tight. At the count of five she’d won.

Just as she backed up to let him stand up a chime sounded, signaling that the session was over. Luce staggered to his feet, but Kee remained on her knees for a moment, holding her arm close to her body. Her shoulder throbbed painfully.

Luce offered her a hand and helped her stand up. “Nice one!”

“Thanks. You almost had me.” She said, smiling at him and clutching her arm again.

“Come on, I’ll walk you to the infirmary.” He said as friendly as though they’d been simply playing a card game for the last half hour.

“Thanks, but it can wait. I see someone I have to talk to.” She nodded toward the pair of officers and Luce turned away toward the locker room. His offer was probably just a thinly veiled excuse to get some of his own bruises tended too anyway.

Holding her right elbow close to her ribs to lessen the pain in her shoulder, Kee put on her most neutrally pleasant expression and walked over to them. That mission of theirs had never shown up in Starfleet records, and she wasn’t surprised. It had always struck her as an off-the-books kind of mission.

“Ah. Cadet, we were just talking about you.” Baker said when she got close enough.

Kee couldn’t keep a tiny smirk off of her lips as she turned to the man whose pips identified him as a Lieutenant-commander. “You don’t say.”

“This is Jeff Riggs from Starfleet Intelligence. He’s requested your presence on an urgent mission.”

She regarded the man who she’d so deeply trusted long ago. The years had aged him a bit, put a hint of gray into his hair. And his nose looked distinctly human now. But his kind, genuine eyes hadn’t changed. She supposed the mission wasn’t optional, and details weren’t forthcoming.

“When do we leave?” She asked.

“Immediately.” Riggs said. “The Cochrane is standing by for transport.”

Immediately meant _immediately_. Kee nodded a curt good-bye to Baker as he turned away.

He tapped his commbadge, “Riggs to Cochrane, two to beam up.” The sparring arena faded away to be replaced by a small transporter room.

As soon as they materialized, the transporter operator said, “Bridge, they’re on board.”

“Acknowledged.”

“We’ll stop by sickbay to get that shoulder looked at.” Riggs said as he stepped off of the platform.

The small, two-person transporter pad suggested a small ship, perhaps an Oberth-class which consisted of only 11 decks, most of them rather narrow. The design that left the main and secondary hulls almost completely separate from each other never made any sense to her. In an emergency or a battle, crew members could easily be cut off from each other. She’d wanted to be assigned to one of them during her Sophomore year so she could learn to work around that impairment, but didn’t get the chance.

Kee finally broke the silence. “I didn’t expect to see you again.”

Riggs let out a short breath through his nose. “There were times when that probably would have been the case.” He looked her in the eye without missing a step, “You tried to warn us about what we’d find down there. It wasn’t anything we could have imagined.” He shook his head, “For you to grow up there…”

“Don’t.” She waved off whatever else he was going to say. She didn’t need sympathy.

In silence, they rounded the corner into sickbay.

A nurse, who introduced herself as Lieutenant Flood, took in her pained bearing and motioned her to a biobed without having to ask what was wrong.

In fact, she barely said a word as she scanned and treated Kee’s shoulder, not at all surprised at seeing an unfamiliar face onboard. She had a feeling this was no last-minute assignment.

Flood’s manor wasn’t cold, exactly, just efficient and distant as though they’d been instructed not to get to know their passengers, suggesting a covert op. So, she remained silent while the pain in her shoulder diminished to almost nothing.

When Flood stepped away for a moment, Kee finally said to Riggs. “You didn’t seem surprised to find me here.”

“I may have kept an eye on the Academy enrollment manifest. I was pleased to see your name there a couple of years ago.”

Kee laughed, “And I suppose you think you had something to do with that?”

“Well…” He shrugged.

“Arrogant!” She teased, laughing. “So, now you had to come find me for… old times sake?”

He chuckled slightly. “Actually, I hadn’t intended to make contact at all until something came up and I knew you’d be my best choice for this mission.”

Flood returned to finish treating Kee’s shoulder, cutting off anything else Riggs might have said, and finished up, saying, “You’re good to go.”

“Thank you.” She told the nurse, then looked down at herself, still wearing her Academy physical training uniform which consisted of grey, calf-length leggings, and a grey tank top with a security-gold stripe across her chest. “I suppose I should go replicate a proper uniform.”

“I’ll walk you to your quarters.” He offered.

She slid off the biobed, “I can find my way.”

“Ok. I’ll be by in about an hour to brief you on the mission.”

* * *

Jeff sat across a table from Kee while he briefed her on the mission. Mal Kreuger, who’d been his SI partner for nearly ten years, had been in deep cover within the Orion Syndicate for the past three years working on a man named Kodun. They’d lost contact with her, which wasn’t entirely unusual, but it had been over two months now and she still hadn’t reestablished contact.

He needed Kee… Cadet Norv, he corrected himself… to accompany him to find out what had happened. There were other agents he could have chosen for this mission, but he knew her to be someone capable of quick thinking and who’d be willing to do whatever was necessary to complete the mission. He had no idea what they’d come up against, so he needed someone like her. He wasn’t sure if she’d like the next detail he was about to share with her. “… and for our cover to appear natural, I need you to pose as my traveling companion.”

She didn’t flinch, only nodded her understanding. “Alright, so, does your persona have a particular taste?”

He was taken aback for a moment, “Uh, no. Just replicate whatever clothes you’re comfortable with.”

Kee laughed, clearly enjoying his discomfort. “You Humans have such a hard time with this stuff, don’t you?”

He laughed nervously. He’d been on more undercover missions than he’d have thought possible during his twelve-year career at SI. Had assumed many identities over the years, and a few of them had included the type he was going to take on for this mission. These were the roles that made him the most uncomfortable.

He’d been raised with Federation values regarding gender. Growing up, it had never crossed his mind to see women as anything but equals. To ask a capable partner to pose as a sex object was nothing less than revolting. After SI recruited him, he’d learned quickly that his beliefs weren’t shared in much of the galaxy. His experience on Bajor, the things he’d seen happen, stood out as one of those moments.

“Don’t worry about me.” She assured him. “I’ve done it before.”

He’d have to ask about that later.

“Ideally we’ll track down Mal and that’ll be the end of it, but if something’s happened to her, we’ll need to locate a data storage device that will contain all of her mission logs.” He handed her a padd that outlined the details of their aliases. He would be operating under the name Alec Levy and she’d be Naco Iciya.

* * *

Jeff waited for Kee in the transporter room. They’d be beaming down to a commerce hub to catch a series of transports that would take them in a haphazard route to their destination that would be difficult to trace back to Starfleet. He pulled at his collar. Posing as a wealthy businessman in this region meant costly, tailored clothes that included a few too many layers for his taste.

When the doors opened and Kee walked in, he had to use every bit of his SI training to control his reaction. She looked like an entirely different person. Her hair curled around her face in soft waves, her green eyes were dramatically accented with color. She wore a gold sequined dress that clung to her trim, athletic frame. It was low-cut enough to show that she wasn’t wearing any kind of undergarment, and short enough that it couldn’t have possibly covered more than the essentials.

His eyes darted back to her face where he found her red lips turned up in a familiar lopsided smirk at his obvious reaction. Then she turned and he could see that the back of the dress dipped down even farther than the front, showing off a beautiful black tattoo that crawled across her entire back with tendrils that looped and curled around each other. He swallowed hard and made sure he was properly composed before she turned back around.

“Is this sufficient?” She asked.

“You could have put more effort into it, but it’ll do.” He teased as they stepped onto the transporter pad. “Energize.” He said before she could come back with some snarky response.

* * *

They had traveled with little to no rest for over thirty-six hours, finally reaching Farius Prime, which was a major location for the Orion Syndicate. They beamed down to a hotel in Selo Port and Kee waited while Jeff used his thumbprint to unlock the door to their room. Once inside, they noted that their luggage had already been transported in ahead of them. Kee looked around, it was a small, single room with a replicator, plus a restroom. One thing stood out, there was only one bed.

Jeff stared at the bed for a moment. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”

She back-handed a friendly slap on his shoulder. “Don’t be ridiculous. We’re both adults.” Then she stretched her sore neck, “Any idea if we have a sonic shower in there or water?” The thought of steaming, hot water running over her body was suddenly all she could think about.

He gestured graciously toward the tiny room off to the side, “Go right ahead and do some recon on that.”

* * *

The next morning, Kee bent over to secure the strap on her shoe. She’d chosen the sexiest shoes that were practical. Something with a nice stable heel in case she had to kick some… she sighed, Starfleet was really trying to get her to clean up her language.

Jeff emerged from the restroom dressed as a wealthy businessman. She tried to ignore how handsome he looked and ribbed him instead. “You were snoring last night.”

“You were cursing in your sleep.”

“When I _could_ sleep with all that snoring.” She shot back.

“Well, I’m the ranking officer on this mission so that’s just too bad for you.” He teased.

Kee stood up from adjusting her shoe, “Yeah, well, how about this?” Then she presented him with an obscene hand gesture.

He laughed, “Insubordination! I could have you court marshaled.”

Kee raised her hands to her sides shrugging, “Well, it was a short career.”

“Undone by your own stubbornness.” He mockingly mused.

“Somehow I always knew it would end that way.” Kee couldn’t contain her laughter any longer and Jeff joined in.

Once they had composed themselves, he offered her his elbow. “Shall we?”

Kee slipped into character as she wrapped her arm around his.

* * *

Mal’s original contact had been a Yridian at a bar here in Selo Port called Daq'si Eraha, named after its proprietor, and her coded status updates indicated she’d maintained regular contact with him. Jeff walked in with Kee on his arm and strolled up to the bar, noting that there were three Yridian’s in the place. When the bartender, presumably Eraha, came near he ordered for them both, “Starduster and a silken sunrise.” Before he could move away to fill their orders he said, “Would you happen to know where I could find a Yridian named Rabta.”

“My customers prefer to keep their privacy.” He grumbled.

Kee pressed against the bar to accentuate her cleavage and leaned across into Eraha’s personal space. “We were hoping to do business with him.” She said with a velvety soft voice and sweet smile, “I’d really appreciate it if you could point him out to us.”

She was good.

Eraha smiled back at her and indicated a Yridian sitting in a corner booth then moved the back of his hand to brush it against her arm but she gracefully maneuvered away.

Jeff wrapped his arm possessively around her waist, glaring back at the barkeep and they moved away from the bar toward Rabta’s table. For her part, Kee didn’t flinch even slightly at the intimate touch. She really had done this before. They neared the booth and he sat down and scooted over to allow Kee to sit and keep a subtle eye on the room.

“I don’t know anything about anything or anybody.” Rabta said without looking up.

“That’s alright. I just thought we could get to know each other a bit.” Jeff said smoothly as the waiter placed two drinks in front of them. Once he’d walked away, Jeff continued, “We’re looking for someone you’ve met with. Her name’s Kaylynn Mathis.” Mal’s alias.

He swallowed hard, “I don’t know her.” He said too quickly.

“Look. I’m a friend of hers.” He said in the friendliest tone he could manage. “I know she’s been meeting with you. I need to find her.”

He looked nervously between the two of them. Kee reached out and placed her hand on top of his wrinkled, thumbless hand. “Please?” She said sweetly.

Rabta stared down into his drink. “I’m not saying that I ever met with her… but I heard that she fell out of favor with Kodun. Something about prying into things that weren’t her business.”

“Do you know where she is now?” Jeff asked.

“I heard he sold her to Orion slavers. There was a ship that passed through here about a month ago.”

A knot twisted his stomach. Mal was a lot like Kee, willing to do anything for the mission, but for her to be sold as a slave… “Thank you. You’ve been very helpful.”

“No, I haven’t!” He said quickly. “I never said anything to you!”

“Of course.” He agreed and stood up with Kee. He dropped some currency on the table next to their untouched drinks and walked out of the bar with a heavy feeling of dread.

* * *

It didn’t take much digging to track down the ship Rabta had indicated. The Torek made regular rounds in this part of space and the one stop they made regularly was an unnamed trading post orbiting a planet in the Chi Ceti system. Kee had quickly assembled their equipment while he’d booked passage.

With more than a few hours to kill, they replicated some dinner in their small cabin. After eating the first part of the meal in silence she asked. “How’d you end up in SI anyway?”

“I was never especially close to my parents. They were Starfleet officers, usually assigned to deep space missions, so I grew up mostly in boarding schools on Earth. They both died in the line of duty. I was an only child and never really knew any of my extended family.” Kee studies him for a long moment with an unreadable expression. He suddenly felt uncertain, “Well, ah, perfect candidate for an SI NOC agent. They recruited me right out of the Academy.”

She blinked away whatever was on her mind and asked, “As a NOC, how do you have a Starfleet rank? Is it real?”

He shifted uncomfortably, that wasn’t an easy answer. “Yes and no.”

Her brow furrowed, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means,” he started slowly, “on one hand, if something goes wrong, I could be disavowed. But on the other hand, you still have to follow my orders.”

She chuckled lightly and uttered a casual curse while they fell into an easy silence.

He finally decided to ask something that he’d been curious about for two days. “So, what’s with the tattoo?” He said between bites, “I seem to remember you had a scar in that same place last time I saw you.”

She took a moment to finish her bite, “There’s an artist in Dahkur that does them to cover scars. I had it done about four years ago.”

“What happened?” He asked.

A darkness passed across her face, she shook her head, “I did something stupid. Didn’t follow orders.” She stabbed a piece of food with her fork, “We were lucky that nobody was killed because of it.”

He let the matter drop, it was clear that the event had had a huge impact on her. From what he knew of her, he could hardly imagine her of all people not following orders. Her Academy record was spotless with nothing but praise in her evaluations. A lesson learned, then.

She gathered the food on her plate into a pile and picked up another piece with her fork. It smelled a lot better than what he’d replicated. “What is that?” He asked.

“Vukyehl. Try some.” She pushed the plate towards him to pick up a piece. Too late, she remembered to warn him, “It’s spicy!”

But he had already taken the bite. The burn was instant and intense. It felt like his taste buds were being burned off like the history logs he’d seen of the Genesis experiment. His eyes watered while he did his best to keep a dignified reaction.

She tore off a piece of bread and handed it to him. “Sorry. This will help.”

When he’d recovered a bit, he said, “Wow, that lingers.”

Kee smiled wide, “Yeah, it’s a good one.”

He blew air through his lips as though that would stop the burning. “You’d think I’d have gotten used to that back when I was on Bajor.”

Kee laughed, “I keep forgetting to warn people when I share.”

“That’s an interesting thing we noticed back then.”

“What?” She asked, taking another bite without a bit of reaction to the spice.

“Even when there was so little food available, the people we encountered were always willing to share what they had.” He recalled a number of families that had taken them in for a few nights here and there. He’d wished he could do something for them right then and there, but at the time he and his partners were the ones in need of charity.

She shrugged, pulling him out of the memory. “The only way to survive was to rely on each other.”

“I think it goes deeper than that. It’s a beautiful little bit of your culture that you were able to hang on to.”

“The Prophets teach us to be generous.” She said reverently.

He had to take a moment to process what she said. He’d met plenty of Bajorans that were downright militant in their religious beliefs. You could hardly say two words to them without a full onslaught about the Prophets. But Kee had never struck him as a believer. “I’ve never heard you talk about Them.”

“I respect that people have different belief systems. I don’t like to shove my own religion in their faces.”

“That’s not typical of most Bajorans.”

“Oh, I’m just as opinionated as the next Bajoran. I’ll argue with you until the leaves turn. But I don’t expect to make you agree with me.”

“How do you reconcile your beliefs with what you had to do during the occupation?” He asked, genuinely curious.

“I don’t.” She said flatly. “Not really. There were those of us who sacrificed their lives and others who sacrificed our souls. There’s no excuse, no justification. I knew what I was doing. I made a choice to do what was necessary for Bajor, and I confirmed that choice with every life I took. It’s up to the Prophets to decide whether it was right or wrong.”

“You hope that your belief is enough to overcome the bad?”

“Something like that. But there’s a difference between ‘belief’ and ‘faith’. Everyone now believes that the Prophets exist, but to have faith that they care for us and are guiding us is a different matter.”

“You still have faith in them, even after the Occupation?”

“Just because something bad happens, doesn’t mean we throw away our faith. Sometimes bad things happen to prevent something worse. Sometimes they happen because of a choice that someone made. Sometimes they happen for no reason at all. There are a hundred reasons bad things can happen to people who don’t deserve it. The best we can do is try to grow through it, past it and from it. As Gods, the Prophets guide us in all of that.”

“But there’s no evidence that they’re actually divine.”

“Isn’t there?” She paused, “Seems pretty logical to me that a group of noncorporeal beings that exist outside of time could communicate knowledge of what we consider the future to us tens of thousands of years ago.”

“That doesn’t make them gods.”

“And that’s where faith comes in.”

“There’s a pretty big difference between observable evidence and the supernatural.”

“I don’t see those two things as mutually exclusive. You see, no one has one-hundred percent of the truth of the universe. Not religion, not science, no one. We each have a little piece of truth, and the important thing is that we’re faithful to that one piece we have.”

The concept took him back, he’d never heard a Bajoran say something like that. “If someone had said that to me back then, it might just have convinced me.”

She bit her lip for a second, “Many Bajorans would consider what I just said to be heretical.”

He nodded and decided to change the subject, “Then maybe it’s safer to stick to the subject of spicy food next time I’m there.”

She laughed, “Actually, debates about food spice can get quite heated at times!”

No pun intended?

He laughed too, “Are there no safe topics?”

“Not really. No.”

* * *

Kee and Jeff disembarked their transport into a chaotic scene. She wasn’t sure which was worse, the noise of barter, the smell of too many bodies in one space or the stifling heat. Judging by the haze in the air, the environmental systems weren’t keeping up.

Between the jostling bodies, she could make out various exotic items for sale spread out in booths or on tables and a few times caught sight of something illegal being slipped covertly from seller to buyer.

Jeff began winding his way through the crowd, keeping her arm looped through his elbow to avoid getting separated. She’d long ago lost the notion of personal space. Back in the Resistance, there was no such thing and, it seemed, here either. Body parts of all different types bumped against her as people maneuvered through the crowd to purchase whatever they were here for.

As she and Jeff made their way toward the rear of the room where the slave trade would be, he placed his hand low on her back to keep her close. Her bare skin tingled where he touched her. But the feeling disappeared quickly when they got where they were going. The sight of sentient beings locked in cages twisted her stomach. It took every bit of her discipline to control the reaction.

Jeff began showing Mal’s picture to huge, bald Orion males that were in charge of the trade. They were a lot bigger than any opponent she’d ever fought, she wondered if she’d be able to take one on if she had to.

The third one, who had a nasty-looking piece of jewelry pierced through his eyebrow, pointed them toward another one, calling him Ngolon.

Jeff thanked him, but the sound was lost in the noise of the place.

Fortunately, the area where they found Ngolon was a bit quieter. Jeff approached him with her picture. “I’m looking for this woman. Have you seen her come through here?”

Ngolon glanced at the picture with an unreadable expression, “What’s it to you?”

“Kaylynn is Iciya’s… counterpart. She was stolen from me about a month ago.”

Ngolon’s expression changed from indifference to unease. “Do you have proof of ownership?”

“Unfortunately, no. Has she been here?”

His manner softened, if that was possible for such a huge being. “She sold almost immediately.” He actually looked embarrassed. “I apologize, I’m not in the habit of dealing in stolen merchandise. If she’d been properly id-tagged, I’d have held her for you.”

Jeff let a bit of disappointment slip. “Can you give me the name of the person who purchased her?”

“That is confidential information. What I will give you is a discount as a way of apology. Pick one out and I’ll give her to you at cost.”

“I appreciate that, but she has certain… unique skills. I’d really like to get her back.”

“Unfortunately, that’s not going to be possible. The man who purchased her was back here less than a week later looking for a refund. It seems she was a bit too much trouble for him and he had to do away with her.”

With her arm still hooked around his, she could feel him tense, but no trace of distress showed on his face, only a look of irritated disappointment.

When Jeff didn’t respond, Ngolon continued. “Please, feel free to look around. Like I said, I’ll give you a discount, just keep this business of stolen merchandise between us.”

“Thanks, I’ll let you know.” Jeff managed to say and they began meandering casually between pens of slaves waiting to be sold, eventually making their way back to their transport.

* * *

Jeff managed to keep his composure long enough to return to their room, but as soon as the door shut behind them, he threw the padd he was holding across the room. He dropped into a chair and bent over to bury his face in his hands and ran them through his hair.

He was certain if the situation was reversed, Mal wouldn’t allow herself an emotional breakdown. She’d always mastered emotional detachment better than he did. He couldn’t bear to think of what the last few weeks of her life had been like. She was a good agent, a good partner, she deserved so much better. He worked to control the feelings surging up inside him and could vaguely hear Kee move closer to him.

Finally, he said, “Emotional detachment is a lot harder than it seems when you first sign up.”

Kee sat down next to him in the other chair. “I know.” She said softly, taking his hand in hers. The gesture felt comforting even though her fingers were ice cold.

He knew she understood. He looked up at her. Damn, she was beautiful. Her face was only centimeters from his. He leaned in to touch his lips to hers but caught himself at the last moment and turned away.

She turned away and stood, moving to put some distance between them. “So, what’s next?” She asked, keeping him focused. Just like Mal always used to.

He ran a hand through his hair again, “We need to find her mission logs. They’d probably be back at Kodun’s property. She left a coded clue at the end of her message each time she checked in giving the present location of the data crystal. As long as she didn’t move it after her last message, we should be able to find it.”

“So, we just have to get ourselves into Kodun’s place.”

* * *

They returned to the Farius system, but instead of Farius Prime, they made their way to one of the outer planets where they’d find a small, domed colony on an unnamed Class N planet. The combination of hydrogen predominance in the atmosphere and the white color of the Class F star, made the air surrounding the planet take on a hazy purple tint.

The colony just happened to be owned by Kodun himself and was his supposed primary residence. Just traveling to the colony was expensive enough to keep out the rabble, then yet another fee had to be paid upon entry. Not to mention lodging and food. Kee wasn’t quite sure where Jeff kept coming with all of this cash.

Before leaving their hotel, they’d hidden a device in her small clutch purse that would allow them to copy Kodun’s personal access chip. Assuming one of them could manage to acquire it.

The planet’s purple, vaporous atmosphere outside the dome gave the evening streets a dream-like quality. They strode confidently to a bar owned by a Ferengi named Prash. According to Mal’s transmissions, it was a favorite place for Kodun.

When they stood in front of the Lethean bouncer at the door, he folded his arms across his chest. “You’re not on the list.” He said flatly.

Jeff wordlessly passed a handful of money to him. Growing up, Kee would never have imagined throwing around that much money.

Without consulting the padd in his hand, the bouncer said, “My mistake.” And stepped aside to allow them to enter.

The inside was busy, but not crowded. They sat down at a small, round table and waited to have their orders taken while glancing around the room for Kodun.

A Bolian waiter approached and stood near them without a word.

“Two Maraltian Seev-ales.” Jeff told them.

Kee had warned him that she was a lightweight when it came to alcohol. Fortunately, SI had spent a considerable amount of resources toward developing an injection to counteract the effects of alcohol on their agents, enabling them to blend in without losing control.

Jeff leaned his elbows onto the table, “That’s Kodun there.”

She followed his quick glance toward a large, semi-circle couch in an adjacent part of the club where a well-dressed Farian was lounging with a pair of women-of-the-night. Two more Farian males stood as bodyguards nearby. 

The waiter returned with their drinks and the two of them remained at their table. Best not to appear too eager. Kee took a sip of her drink and suppressed a grimace. The drink had a distinctly fermented flavor that reminded her of the nearly spoiled food she’d had to eat in the refugee camp when she was a child. But, she’d done far more distasteful things in her life, so she continued to sip at it.

Around the time she’d almost finished the nauseating drink, one of Kodun’s bodyguards approached them. “Mister Kodun would like to speak with you.”

“Alright.” Jeff said casually and they stood to follow him. When they neared the second bodyguard, they stopped them and quickly patted Jeff down.

When they were done, Kee held her arms out to the sides to allow herself to be searched as well. One checked her body while the other peeked into her purse, but the chances of him finding the device hidden there was remote.

Finally satisfied, they handed her back her purse and stepped aside to allow them to approach Kodun.

“Tell me what it is you’re selling.” He said in a bored tone of voice.

“What makes you think I’m selling anything?” Jeff asked.

“This is a private club, I don’t recognize you. You’ve been trying to make it look like you weren’t watching me for the last half hour. There’s something you want to sell me.”

Kee wondered if that was Jeff’s plan all along or if they’d just gotten lucky. He just looked around nervously, “This may not be the best time.”

“Mr…” Kodun prompted.

“Levy.”

“Mr. Levy. I don’t like games. If there’s business you want to discuss, just come out with it. Then you can be on your way and I can enjoy the rest of my evening.”

He put on a salesman face, “Have you ever heard of Zeite crystals?”

The crystals often appeared in jewelry, machinery and computer consoles. But what Kodun would be most interested in was their use as the beam-focusing component of energy weapons.

“Of course.”

“Would you believe that I have a source of Zeite with a ninety-nine-point-three percent purity?”

Kodun scoffed, “Nobody’s ever been able to supply anything higher than ninety-seven-point-six percent.”

Jeff flashed that disarming smile of his, “Until now.”

Kodun pondered him for a long moment without saying anything.

Jeff gestured to the couch he was sitting on, “May I?”

He prodded one of his escorts to move to the other side so Jeff could sit next to him. “At least until I figure out whether you’re able to provide what you promise or if you’re just an exceptional liar.”

Kee seated herself next to Jeff and let him deal with Kodun. His job was two-fold, size him up and gain his trust. Her job was to scrutinize his associates. The two muscles were one thing, clearly who they appeared to be, but the women weren’t necessarily just prostitutes.

Security cadets were required to pass classes regarding micro expressions, how to read them and how not to display them. After observing them for some time, she was fairly certain that one of them was just what she seemed, but the other was not. She eyed Kee intently. Kee hoped she, herself, wasn’t so easily made.

After discussing the product to a depth that made Kodun comfortable that Jeff really was some kind of Zeite crystal expert he leaned over to her, “Iciya, darling, would you go get me a drink from the bar?”

Without replying, Kee stood up to comply but he held onto her hand. When she turned back to him, he tugged gently on her hand to get her to bend down to him. When she was close enough, he kissed her gently on one cheek while slipping something into her other hand.

Ignoring the chills his touch sent across her skin, she palmed the hexagonal object, stood and walked away toward the bar.

By the time she got to the bar, she’d identified the object as an access chip and she slipped it into her purse. While she was waiting for the bartender, a large Palamarian on a stool turned toward her. “Well hello…”

“Not interested.” She said politely.

“How much would it cost me for you to be interested?”

“Back off.” She said firmly, she had enough to think about without being hit on.

“I’m just looking for someone to brighten up my evening.” He insisted, beginning to raise his voice.

Kee glanced around to be sure no one was watching and she jabbed her elbow into a weak spot on his neck. He immediately slumped forward onto the bar.

She feigned concern, “I think he’s had a bit too much.” She told the bartender in the sweetest voice she could manage.

The bartender waved his security goons over to remove the unconscious Palamarian. “I’m so sorry, what can I get you?”

“A supernova.” She said, choosing the drink that would take the longest to mix that she could think of.

“Right away.”

While the bartender moved away to mix the drink, Kee dug around in her purse, carefully slipping the access chip into the hidden duplication device, then pulled out some coins to pay for the drinks.

Kee tuned out Jeff’s conversation in her earpiece. Some physical distance from him would do her well, even for just a few minutes. She felt like she was losing her hold on reality, and slipping dangerously deep into their roles.

In another place and another time she would have been perfectly capable of dealing with her attraction to him, but the physical closeness demanded by their cover was blurring the lines. She had to keep reminding herself to focus on the mission.

* * *

“You do understand that I’ll have to have my people check out your story before we can begin doing business together.” Kodun said.

“Of course.” Jeff said smoothly. “I wouldn’t do business with anyone who would be so sloppy not to.” His cover was rock solid, they would only find what he wanted them to.

“I’m hosting a private party tomorrow evening for some of my associates. My people should have cleared you by then and we can take the opportunity to celebrate our new affiliation.”

Jeff only nodded indifferently, even though that was exactly what he’d been hoping for, he needed to appear aloof. He found his attention drifting toward Kee. She was leaning against the bar waiting for the drink, her deceptively slender legs disappeared into the micro-skirt of her dress that clung to her every curve.

She reminded him so much of Mal. Both so dedicated and relentless. He thought they would have made a great team and imagined for a moment the two of them charging off headlong into danger. He caught a thin smile trying to creep onto his lips. He was beginning to find it hard to focus on the mission. What was wrong with him?

“She’s good.” Kodun said, pulling his attention back. “Don’t see many Bajorans in this line of work anymore.”

Jeff kept his face turned toward her to prevent Kodun from seeing the sneer of disgust that flashed across his face, fully aware that she’d probably heard every word through the comm.

“She’s very good.” He said truthfully.

“Tomorrow evening, you’re welcome to sample from my escorts if you’re willing to share also.”

It took him an extra moment to process what he’d said. Jeff scrambled for an excuse that wouldn’t offend him and put on a slightly embarrassed expression. “I’m afraid I’m a bit possessive.”

He laughed deeply, “She _must_ be good.”

Just then he saw that Kee was walking back with his drink. When she reached them, she handed it to him with the access chip concealed underneath. He slipped it into his palm and began watching for an opportunity to tuck it back in Kodun’s pocket where he’d found it.

In an attempt at relaxation, he reached over and rested his hand on her thigh, realizing too late that it was a mistake, but he couldn’t pull away without looking unnatural. Her soft, flawless skin immediately demanded his full attention and he felt his control slipping. It took everything he had to maintain his composure.

* * *

Kee reclined seductively against Jeff with her arm draped around his shoulder. She watched the room for any indication of danger while he finished working up Kodun. After a while, he reached down and placed his hand gently on her thigh. She forced herself not to show any reaction, but her body responded appropriately.

In her mind, she imagined his hand sliding farther up and under her dress.

With her heart pounding, she forced herself out of the brief fantasy. What was wrong with her? She pasted a pleasantly neutral, even slightly bored expression on her face while she continued her vigil. It was only part of their cover, she reminded herself. Without really understanding why, she caressed his ear with her left hand absentmindedly and vowed not to fall too deeply into the role.

* * *

Their lips found each other’s the moment they were alone in the hotel’s lift as though magnetically polarized. The touch was both a relief and a catalyst at the same time.

It was wrong. They were colleagues. He was her superior. This wasn’t like her. They shouldn’t be doing this.

They walked blindly, locked together, toward their room. One of his hands gripped the small of her back to pull her body tight against his. With the other, he palmed the side of her jaw and wrapped his fingers around the back of her neck. She pulled him tight with equal force with one arm around his back and the other grasping a fist full of the fabric of his collar.

_Shouldn’t be doing this_, some piece of her mind reminded her as her back collided with their room door, but she couldn’t bring herself to end it. All she wanted was more.

He pressed her against the door, lifting her almost off her feet while he fumbled with the thumb pad.

She tried to push herself away from him, but her muscles wouldn’t obey, instead holding all the more secure, firmly silencing that part of her brain that kept objecting and that was the last she heard from it.

They nearly tumbled inside when the door slid open and she shuffled back into the room without breaking contact with his lips.

His tongue glided along the edge of hers as they kissed deeper, barely able to breathe. As he walked her backward, his leg slipped between hers, rubbing against her in a way that obliterated any willpower she had left.

Absently, she tossed her purse onto the table a little too hard and it went sliding off the other side. It didn’t matter, she grabbed the front of his shirt with both fists, then turned and shoved him against the wall, continuing to press her body against his.

_More._

_Harder._

_Deeper._

It was all she could think. He filled her senses. Taste, touch, smell. Tiny vocalizations revealed his want, too, and spurred her on all the more. Some urgent demand from somewhere deep inside her kept compelling her onward.

His hands were around her waist, then on her hips, pulling her tight against him. He began kissing along her jaw then her neck and her shoulder, sending chills across her skin. She tipped her head back to allow him access.

His hands slipped further down her body and pulled her tight skirt up to her hips. She responded by coiling her leg around his.

He lifted her up from the back of her thighs and turned her against the wall to pin her there. She yelped at the sudden pressure and surge of desire, giving herself over to the wrongness and lust.

* * *

Kee awoke slowly to the feeling of sheets on her naked skin. She squeezed her eyes shut as she remembered why. A string of every curse word she knew passed through her mind.

She swallowed hard. This was a mistake. She’d lost control, compromised herself and possibly their mission. And with a superior officer, no less! What must he think of her? She turned over carefully so as not to wake him, she needed more time to think. But that prospect disappeared when she saw that his eyes were already open.

He cleared his throat nervously, “Good morning.” Sounding like he’d been awake for some time.

She sighed, “Yeah.” When he didn’t say more she began, “Last night…”

But then he broke in, “I’m sorry. I… I don’t know, I must have gotten swept away in the role. I’ve never done this with someone under my command. I didn’t mean to manipulate you or make you feel like…” His words tumbled out so fast it was clear he’d been thinking about it for a long time.

She held up a hand to stop him, her temper flared at that suggestion. “’Manipulate’ me?”

“Yeah. I didn’t-”

She sat part way up, thankful that the sheet came with her. “I _choose_ when to have sex, nobody _manipulates_ me into anything.”

True, she’d lost control, but it was her control to lose. She pulled the sheet to the side to reveal an almost invisible scar under her left breast. “I got this from a Cardassian soldier who wanted to ‘hire’ me. I told him no, he insisted. I suggested that he go take care of the matter himself. He didn’t appreciate the recommendation, so he stabbed me. Ended up with a punctured lung for it.” She looked into his face. “_Nobody_ manipulates me into sex.” She dropped back down onto the bed. “Doesn’t matter whether or not it was a mistake.” 

“You think it was a mistake?” He asked.

She answered with an affirmative sound.

“Good. Because I’m pretty sure it was. This could compromise our interactions and blow our cover.”

“Don’t worry, I can do it.” She said, hoping this mission would remain off the books when they got back.

* * *

Jeff studied the layout of Kodun’s mansion. An index of the estate included a sizable collection of Klingon memorabilia, which caught his attention. Mal’s last message had ended with the word “Gr'oth” only. He doubted she would have been so obvious as to hide the data crystal under, around or behind an item specifically relating to the IKS Gr'oth, but perhaps its captain, Koloth. Or the D7 class of Klingon vessels. He pulled up any information he could find on both.

_Mal, why do you have to be so damn cryptic?_ He thought.

While the computer pulled up the requested information, he glanced at Kee out of the corner of his eye. She was working on the copied access chip, removing any data fragments left behind by the copying procedure. She tapped at the interface with her left hand and jotted down notes onto a padd using a stylus with her right. After a while, he became aware of something odd about what she was writing.

“Are you aware you’re writing in three different languages?” He leaned closer to see the sloppily scribbled Bajoran, Cardassian and Standard characters.

She blinked at the padd as though she had not realized it and laughed sheepishly. “Yeah, that happens sometimes.” She shot him a smirk, “Makes it hard for nosy people to read it.”

He laughed, “Sorry, that was not my intent. It just caught my eye. I’ve never seen anyone do that.”

“It just depends on where my head is at any given moment.”

“I guess it makes sense with three languages rolling around in there.”

“Four, actually.” She corrected him.

“Four? What else?”

“When I was a child there was a monk who, for some reason I’ve never understood, decided that I needed to know Ancient Bajoran.” She shrugged. “All Bajorans know some key phrases that are used in religious observances, but he wanted me to be able to read and speak it fluently.” She shook her head, laughing. “Because I’ve found so many opportunities to make use of it.” She said sarcastically, but then scolded herself, “But I shouldn’t complain. We weren’t supposed to learn to read and write at all.”

“Seems like you managed. I don’t think I’ve ever met an illiterate Bajoran.” When she didn’t respond, he said, “Anyway, I didn’t mean to distract you.”

She went back to her work. She seemed to have put their mishap from the previous night behind her, but he knew her well enough by now to know it was only an act. She would complete the mission, he was confident of that, but afterward there was a conversation they’d have to have.

He could only guess at her motives for doing what they did, and, frankly, he was still puzzling over his. He didn’t have feelings for her and doubted she had them for him. She was beautiful, certainly, but he’d worked with beautiful women before.

She was so much like Mal, was that it? He and Mal had never been able to act on the feelings they once had for each other. Eventually they’d moved past it and settled into a strictly professional relationship. Or so he’d thought. And now she was gone, and there was Kee. He felt like he had used her in some kind of sick fantasy as a replacement for Mal.

He shook himself out of the reverie, there was work to be done. Later they would trade places, she would memorize the layout of the mansion and he would confirm her work on the access chip. Until then, though he had some reading to do.

* * *

After arriving at Kodun’s extravagant home, they were led down a long hallway. They were both fairly certain they knew exactly what type of ‘private party’ this was and after what happened last night, Kee was not looking forward to it. They were likely going to have to put on quite a performance to fit in. But they couldn’t exactly back out now. Prophets only knew what Kodun would do if they stood him up.

Too soon, a pair of double doors were opened to them and they entered a dimly lit room, lavishly furnished and sparsely filled with couples and threesomes in various stages of intimacy. She could feel Jeff’s apprehension like a gravity well. Or maybe she was imagining it. A quick glance showed a cool, composed expression on his face.

Kodun approached them with his scantily clad female bodyguard from the previous night plus more than a few other women in comparable dress. “Levy!” He greeted them and handed Jeff a champagne glass and held his own up. “To a lucrative business venture.”

Jeff returned the gesture and drank a sip. “I take it your people have cleared me?”

“Of course. After our conversation last night, I had no doubt.” He indicated the women with him, “Are you certain you’re not interested in a temporary trade?”

He laughed nervously, “I am. I’m quite partial to Iciya’s particular skills.”

“Suit yourself.” He motioned to the room, “Make yourself at home. You’ll find maraji crystals or felicium at the bar if that’s your thing. There are private rooms available if you prefer. Please, enjoy yourself.” With that he left them alone.

“My ‘skills’ huh?” She said quietly as soon as he was out of earshot.

He slowed his pace. “Would you rather have gone with him? Because you’re free to do that.”

Instead of replying, she jabbed an elbow into his ribs with a subtle movement.

They found a dark alcove where they would have a little bit of privacy. Tonight, she’d worn a dark purple, almost black satiny dress to be less noticeable whereas yesterday the point was to attract attention. This way, it would be slightly easier to slip away without it being obvious.

With her back to the wall he leaned toward her intimately, “We should appear as though we’re going to want one of those private rooms sometime soon.”

She nodded and wrapped her arms around his back while he leaned down to kiss her. His lips on hers reminded her why she’d so easily lost control before. It felt good. Tasted good. This was not going to be easy.

In between kisses he managed to say, “Now, don’t get carried away this time.”

She couldn’t suppress a short scoff, “Shut up!”

“You shouldn’t talk to a superior officer that way.”

“Oh, now you’re going to pull rank?”

“Only if I have to.”

The two of them managed to continue their charade despite stifled snickering. As soon as she was able to regain her composure, she peered over his shoulder to scrutinize the room. Aside from the excessive luxury, the self-indulgent drug use and the vulgar debauchery, there wasn’t much to this ‘party.’ It reminded her of what she’d heard about Cardassians and their comfort women.

Most couples didn’t seem to be concerned with privacy. Either too drunk or drugged to care. But finally, one pair headed to a recessed door in the back of the room where a servant handed them an access chip and they disappeared through the door. “Back there, to the right of the bar.”

Jeff turned to look where she indicated. “Let’s head that way then.”

Relieved that this part of the charade was over, she followed him in a meandering path toward the door. Not that she disliked the idea of being with him again. On the contrary, she liked it a bit too much. Best not to head down that path again, though.

When they reached the doorman, he wordlessly handed them an access chip and admitted them into a short hallway with rooms on either side, dimly lit like the other room had been. Each of the doors were numbered with Farian characters. They passed the door with the character that matched their access chip and continued to one at the very end that wasn’t numbered.

Kee pulled the copied chip out of her purse and glanced at Jeff. If it was the wrong chip or if the lock detected the copying process, it could trip an alarm.

With his confirmation, she passed it over the sensor pad and held her breath. The lock blinked from yellow to blue and for an instant, Kee wondered if they’d find guards on the other side, but then the door opened to an empty hallway. Finally, she let out the breath.

They stepped through the door and she recalled the layout she’d memorized. Just as she was turning to the right, Jeff said, “To the right.”

They silently retraced the route they’d planned out earlier, zigzagging through the massive home to find Kodun’s Klingon collection. The walls were covered with weapons and paintings depicting Klingon mythology and history. Throughout the room, on individual stands sat sculptures ranging from pre-space-flight to modern. 

Jeff paced through the room, looking at each one. Finally, he walked over to a painting of Captain Koloth at a battle on Galdonterre. He reached behind the painting and smiled, pulling out a tiny data crystal. But his smile disappeared when an alarm began to blare.

“We’ve been made.” He said, handing her the data crystal. “Take it, I’ll hold them off.”

Kee enclosed it in her fist and rushed away. She had no intent of leaving him behind, but she had to stash the data crystal somewhere where they could retrieve it later. She thought through the layout in her mind. There was a holosuite up ahead, she ran to it and quickly pulled the cover off of the control panel and reached inside. As she felt around, she found a small ledge just above the opening and slid the data crystal onto it. Once she’d replaced the panel, she turned back the way she came.

She hurried back to where she’d left him and rounded the corner to find two armed guards instead. She scrambled to reverse and find cover only to run into two more guards coming up behind her with their weapons raised. She could maybe take on the four of them if they hadn’t been armed, but with their weapons already trained on her, her only option was to surrender.

* * *

During the Occupation, she’d become accustomed to mistreatment when in the enemy’s custody. The Farian guards were rough, but nothing compared to the Cardassians. At gunpoint, she was harshly guided through hallways and up to the top floor.

Keeping track of her location from memory, she knew they were heading toward Kodun’s main office. They climbed a grandiose flight of stairs into an ostentatious entryway. Large wooden double doors with ornate inlays in old Farian style, bordered with gold embellishments that had the distinctive sheen of latinum. She rolled her eyes at the indulgence of it.

Inside, Kee spotted Jeff immediately. He was held in place by a pair of guards and Kodun’s female bodyguard. Two of the guards escorting her remained at the door and the other two moved her to a space opposite Jeff.

Kodun himself stood at the window, looking out at the purple sky with his hands clenched tightly behind him. He spoke in an even, controlled voice at first. “I invite you into my home. Give you all of the hospitality I can offer. And yet you lie to me?!” His voice rose sharply, dangerously at the end. “Give me one reason I shouldn’t kill both of you right now.”

“You have every reason to kill us.” Jeff said steadily.

Finally, Kodun turned to face them. “It’s interesting. I find a Federation spy, a Human, infiltrating my organization. Then only a month later another Human shows up, poking around where he doesn’t belong.” He took Jeff’s silence as confirmation. “It was really too bad, I was quite fond of Kaylynn.” He leered at Kee, “She had unique skills too.”

No matter how Jeff tried to hide it, she could see he was getting under his skin.

The protectiveness, the righteous indignation on his partners’ behalf, sent a completely inappropriate surge through her. This was not the time for that.

Kodun turned back to him. “There was nothing she wouldn’t do. It was a shame to sell her off to the Orions.”

With that, Jeff lost control. He lunged at Kodun but the guards held on to him. One of them slammed his knee into Jeff’s stomach and forced him to his knees.

Kee pulled forward, but the guards kept her firmly in place.

The female bodyguard grabbed him by the hair on the back of his head and raised an intricately inlaid knife to his neck. When he stopped struggling, she leaned down to forcefully kiss him until he managed to turn his face away, leaving lipstick smeared on his lips and cheek.

Kodun chuckled. “Nialle likes you.” He told him. “Too bad I can’t let her have you.” He gave her a look that made her back down, but only slightly. “Now that we’re finally being honest, let’s see… you’re not here for Kaylynn, are you? You’d already have found out about her fate by now. So why would you go to the trouble of deceiving me and infiltrating my home? Hm? My guess is that she left something behind that you want. Information, maybe? A data crystal?”

He turned away from Jeff and looked Kee up and down. “Search her.”

Nialle lifted the knife away from Jeff’s throat and walked slowly over to her with a sneer. A drop of Jeff’s blood snaked along the lines of the rainbowed inlay as she turned the blade to catch the light. She stepped up, only centimeters from Kee’s face, close enough that she felt her breath across her face, and wiped the blood off on Kee’s lip.

Kee fought the urge to cringe at the distinct scent of blood.

At that, Nialle smirked wickedly before beginning to pat her down, checking every part for the tiny crystal. She even felt around the hem of her dress, but came up empty.

“So, either you haven’t found it yet, or you found it and hid it away somewhere.” Kodun surmised and pondered his options. “Tell me where you hid the data crystal,” He said to her then pointed at Jeff, “Or he dies. Right here, right now.”

Nialle stalked back to Jeff and touched the point of her knife to his neck again.

“Don’t tell them.” Jeff said, wincing as the sharp point made another small wound.

Kodun stepped closer to Kee, glowering over her. “Where is it?”

She tore her eyes away from the trickle of blood crawling down Jeff’s neck and stared into Kodun’s eyes, trying to gauge the severity of his order. Would he kill one of his hostages so hastily? With a man like that, it was possible.

Mal had already died for that intel. She couldn’t just hand it over. But if they were killed, too, there would be no one to get it back to the Federation and no way to gain justice for her.

“Don’t tell them! That’s an order!” Jeff insisted.

“Tell me or he dies, now!” Kodun was only a centimeter away from her face. He was serious and ready to do it.

“No!” Jeff called.

“Now!” He roared, then pointed to his bodyguard, “Do it!”

Her eyes darted to Jeff, expecting the knife to plunge into his flesh any moment. “No!” Kee cried out. “I’ll show you where it is.”

“No! Don’t!” Jeff insisted, but it was too late.

A smug expression formed on Kodun’s face and he hooked a finger under her chin to tip her face toward his. “I’m listening.”

“I’ll show you.” She promised, defeated.

He turned to his associates and gestured for them to allow her to lead them to the hiding place, then to the ones holding Jeff, “Take him, too. If she tries anything, kill him immediately.”

Kee led the group back the way they’d come. The odds were slightly better now, at least. Two guards on each of them, plus Kodun’s personal bodyguard. Nialle was the question mark, though, Kee wasn’t sure if she could take her.

Jeff seethed silently as they moved through the mansion. She couldn’t blame him. She didn’t dare give him any indication of her plan. It was a huge gamble. She only hoped it worked.

When they arrived at the holosuite she pointed to the panel and said, “It’s in there.”

Nialle waved her knife at it, “You open it.” Smart, in case she’d boobytrapped it.

Kee only wished she’d had the time to do that. She hooked her fingertips around the edge of the panel and pulled until it disengaged. She set down the loose panel and began to reach inside the opening.

“Wait.” She stopped her with a suspicious glare. “I’ll get it.” Smart again, she could have hidden some kind of weapon inside.

Again, Kee wished she’d been able to do it. She stepped back between the two guards while the other woman reached inside, felt around and finally brought out the tiny data crystal.

Smiling, she tossed the data crystal to one of the men guarding Kee who had a dataport at the base of his skull. He reached up and slid the data crystal inside and began accessing it with a distant look in his eyes. Kee tensed. A few seconds ticked by and suddenly electricity surged from the dataport up toward his head and down to his shoulders. His body seized and he dropped to the floor.

“It’s spiked!” Nialle shouted.

Kee swung her elbow up to smash into the nose of the guard on her right and with the same movement, she grabbed his arm that was holding a phaser and slammed it down against her knee, bending the elbow backwards.

Nialle’s knife slashed toward Kee’s face and she bent back to avoid it. Kee drove her knee into her stomach while grabbing her wrist and twisted hard to force her to drop the knife.

Nialle swung a punch that connected with Kee’s jaw, then punched again but Kee blocked and grabbed the other woman’s arm, pulling her close and slammed her elbow into her face at the same time.

Staggering back a couple of steps, Nialle spun and kicked Kee in the sternum, sending her stumbling backward and gasping for breath. The other woman was on Kee immediately and hammered her elbow into the crook of her neck.

Kee reached down and snatched up the panel and smashed it across Nialle’s face. She saw the guard beginning to push himself off of the floor with his dislocated elbow cradled close to his chest. Before he could straighten up, she slammed it edgewise across the back of his neck, shattering it.

Kee saw that Jeff had taken care of his two and she dropped the remains of the panel onto the floor then reached down to pick up one of the phasers.

“That was a gamble.” He said disapprovingly as he bent down to retrieve the data crystal out of the guard’s dataport.

“Yep.” She said simply.

He stood up, pocketing the data crystal, “How’d you know she would have spiked it?”

She shrugged, “You’ve said how much she and I have in common. It’s what I would have done.” She headed away from the scene and he joined her.

“What if you were wrong?”

“I would have gone to plan B.”

“What was plan B?”

“‘Come up with plan B.’”

He ran his hand through his hair, “Should I even ask about the rest of your plan?”

“We’re already farther than I’d planned for.” She admitted.

“How did the Resistance ever survive?”

Kee chuckled, “It’s precisely because we didn’t plan too far ahead.”

* * *

Hurrying down the hallway toward the kitchen, Kee began to formulate a partial plan. Jeff hadn’t asked where they were going and she assumed he’d had the same thought. At the back of the kitchen there was a garbage chute that ran down to a basement level, from there they might be able to make it to the utility vehicle port.

They burst through the doors into the kitchen and Jeff immediately pointed his phaser at the workers there. “Down! On the floor! Now!”

While they complied, Kee checked around the food preparation equipment for others.

Keeping their phasers trained on the prostrate workers, they looked around for their escape route. After a few minutes he called to her. “Over here.” But before she got to him, Kodun’s guards broke through the doors, firing phaser blasts almost before they were all the way into the room. The workers on the floor covered their heads fearfully as the shots flew over them.

Kee ducked behind a food stasis unit until the attack diminished, then leaned out to shoot back. Weapons fire pounded the side of the stasis unit, sending sparks everywhere. Jeff motioned from his cover for her to stay in place, then he disappeared in the opposite direction. As soon as she had a chance, she leaned out to return fire, answered again by a barrage of weapons fire.

Just as she began to wonder where Jeff had gone, she heard a couple of guttural croaks followed by bodies dropping to the floor. She carefully peered around the corner to see the two guards laying on the floor with kitchen knives buried in their chests, but Jeff was nowhere to be seen.

She rushed to where the garbage chute opening would be and arrived just as Jeff did. When the aperture opened for them, she glanced inside. It was just large enough for them to fit, but the sides were completely smooth. Her shoes would have no traction in there, so she kicked them off and climbed inside.

She braced her back against the side with one foot under her and one foot opposite and lowered herself down. When she was far enough, Jeff followed. They eased downward with the smell of rotting food wafting up to them.

Clamor from above told them that more guards had entered the kitchen. She glanced down, trying to decide whether they were close enough to drop, but the decision was made for them. A thug’s head appeared at the top of the chute, then his phaser.

Kee released the pressure on the walls of the chute and dropped. Sliding and finally tumbling into a bin used to collect the refuse to be vaporized later. She rolled to the side and Jeff dropped in right after her, firing back up into the shaft.

She looked around to get her bearings while they climbed out of the receptacle. “That way.” She pointed toward where the port would be and they dashed off in that direction together. They accelerated to a full sprint in the dark, utilitarian chamber.

His shoes made loud footsteps that echoed around them, but her bare feet padded in complete silence. Her toes gripped the rough surface and she urged herself faster. With his longer legs, she had to take more steps than he did, but she still nudged just ahead of him.

They rounded a corner into a space filled with vehicles of all sizes. Atmospheric shuttles, sub-impulse ships and sub-light transports. All of different designs and origins, but all utilitarian without a hint of the luxury Kodun would demand for himself.

Kee and Jeff moved through the rows of ships, searching for one that would be warp capable. Just as they spotted a Tellarite raider with a pair of nacelles, phaser blasts pounded the ship nearest them.

They ducked low and made their way to the raider.

Kee stood guard over Jeff while he worked to override the door lock. She could hear Kodun’s guards moving in all around them, but she couldn’t get a clean shot at any of them.

She saw someone pass by down the row and she opened fire, then turned to fire on another figure on the other side. Jeff handed her his phaser and she fired desperately in every direction to hold them back.

When she stopped, the sound of her last phaser blast echoed through the chamber for a second, then silence. The only thing she could hear was the sound of her heart pounding in her ears. When the raider’s hatch lock beeped, she nearly jumped.

She fired her phaser to each side one more time then ducked inside with Jeff and sealed the door behind her.

The cockpit was cramped, but big enough for three people.

“Take weapons.” He told her as he dropped into the pilot seat.

She sat at the weapons console and tapped it to life then began the sequence to bring the phasers online. While the computer worked, she familiarized herself with the console. She’d completed a class where they had some hands-on experience with various non-Starfleet interfaces, including Tellarite. Most tactical consoles had certain things in common, at least.

A whine from behind told them that the guards outside were trying to cut into the hull with their phasers. Jeff looked back, “We’d better get moving.” He turned back to his console and the raider lifted off.

“Phasers aren’t online yet.” She informed him, but he didn’t acknowledge, only maneuvered the craft through the chamber and out the portal into the interior of the domed city.

Moments later, two more sub-impulse raiders appeared behind them in hot pursuit. He flew evasively, but they stuck with him high above the city.

“We’ve got to get out into space. Those phasers ready yet?” He asked.

She checked, their progress was achingly slow. “No.”

“Too bad.” He said and flew the ship straight up toward the dome.

She willed the weapons to come online faster. If they ran into that transparent aluminum boundary without blowing a hole in it first, it could shred their hull.

The other ships broke off their pursuit.

She watched the telemetry counting down the distance, they weren’t going to make it. It was coming up too fast!

Finally, the phaser controls blinked on and she hit the firing key without targeting anything, just blasted straight ahead. They blew through the hole they’d made before the structural integrity field sealed the breach in the dome.

Three more warp capable raiders came toward them in a sweeping arc from behind the planet.

Jeff flew the ship straight up in relation to the plane of the star system while Kee fired at the closing ships.

Return fire pounded the hull as the three raiders surrounded them. Her targeting scanners struggled to keep up with his evasive maneuvers.

Two of them kept on their tail while the third tried to cut off their rout back to Federation space, but Jeff flew straight at him. Ignoring the two behind them, she targeted the one ahead and unleashed everything this little ship had on it. Jeff veered off to the side at the last moment as the other ship’s engine core began to overload.

As soon as they were far enough away from the star’s gravity well, he punched it up to maximum warp. “Laying in a course to Starbase 375.” He said as stars began to elongate into streaks on the viewscreen. “I doubt they’ll follow us for long.” He added.

Kee only rested her head back on her chair and breathed out in disbelief.

* * *

They’d arrived at the starbase to be greeted with suspicion, at least until Jeff had given Admiral Ross the proper identification credentials. While waiting for the Cochrane to return her to Earth, he had the distinct impression that Kee had been avoiding him. He considered just leaving it as is. Letting the matter drop. But he felt like there were things that needed to be said. Despite what had happened, he liked working with her.

He finally forced himself to go to Kee’s guest quarters. It would likely be a long time until they saw each other again, if ever, and he didn’t want to leave things hanging like this. He pressed the chime and she called for him to come in.

Kee was sitting on a couch with a mug in her hands and smiled an almost-genuine smile at him. “Can I get you something?” She raised her cup, “Coffee?”

“No, thanks.” He awkwardly sat on the couch perpendicular to the one she was on. She was back to her normal in-uniform look. Little to no makeup, hair pulled back neatly, a security-gold panel across her shoulders. He decided she looked better this way.

She rested her elbows on her knees and looked up at him. “I’m sorry about Mal. She seemed like a good person.”

He sighed, it never got easier to lose someone. He knew very well that she understood that, but he wasn’t sure what else could have been said. He’d grieve for her in his own way.

Finally, she broke the silence. “Look. The other night…”

“It didn’t mean anything.” He interrupted.

“It didn’t mean anything.” She agreed and seemed as relieved as he felt. “We were caught up in the roles we were playing…”

“It’s easy to do things when you’re pretending to be someone else.”

“That’s exactly it. It’s not me. I don’t… do that.” Her eyes dropped down to stare at the cup in her hands. “I’ve only been with one other person before.”

The boy back on that moon. Her pain had been so vivid. “You loved him.”

“I still do.” She said softly then shook herself from the memory. She leaned back and tucked her legs under her. He recognized that same emotional control he’d seen when it had first happened. For a moment, he envied it.

“The thing is that you witnessed a part of my past that I’ve never shared with anyone. I never talked to the others about what happened on that mission. And, frankly, I’ve buried it so deep and so often that it’s almost not even real to me anymore.” She took one last drink of her coffee, but continued to stare down into the empty cup. “And maybe that created some kind of intimacy between us that helped prompt what happened.”

That excused her, at least. As for him, could Mal’s death have affected him so deeply? Was he simply so desperate for comfort from a kindred soul? Did he have any excuse?

In the silence between them, she craned her neck to one side, wincing slightly.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I think that _sli'vak_ bodyguard hit me harder than I thought.” She said, rubbing her shoulder.

“I’ll take you to sickbay to get it taken care of.” With the withering look she gave him, he retracted, “Oh, that’s right. Security officers don’t like to go to sickbay.”

“We’re invincible, you know.” She said with mock arrogance.

“Let me take a look at it.” He stood up, moved around behind her and gently traced his fingers along the muscles that ran from the base of her neck along her shoulders, locating a hard knot. She breathed in sharply when he pressed on it. “I think I found it.” He said and began working it out. 

He had wondered many times if there was something he could have done to save that boy’s life, but he knew that if it had been possible, Kee would have done it. Had she really never let go of him? After all these years?

Because of the control she maintained, it was easy to think that she didn’t feel it, but he was realizing that the inverse was true: she felt it so deeply that her only defense was to clamp it down tight. Cauterize the wounds. She often laughed and made jokes, but under all of that, her past still had a strong hold on her. She was right, though, their history gave him a perspective on her that most people didn’t get.

SI agents didn’t have the luxury of falling in love, and perhaps ex-terrorists sometimes didn’t either. Having someone to go home to could be a distraction at the least, a dangerous liability at the worst. Loving someone, opening up one’s self to that kind of pain, was simply not an option.

Finally, she spoke up again, proving her thoughts had followed the same path as his. “I guess for people like us our only options are meaningless flings or nothing at all.”

With the worst of the knot worked out, he returned to his seat. “Pretty much.” But he was sure she wasn’t the ‘meaningless fling’ type.

She smiled at him without amusement. “Nothing can get in the way of the job.” She said softly, almost to herself.

He wanted to say something profound, but instead, “Well, if the celibacy thing doesn’t work out for you, just come and find me.” He smiled at her. “At least that way it’ll be perpetuating an old mistake and not a new one.”

She burst out laughing, this time smiling deeply enough that there was a hint of dimples on her cheeks that he’d never seen before.

He joined her laughter and she finally managed to say, “I’ll keep that in mind.”


	10. Never Love

_2374, Starfleet Academy, Year 3_

Kee watched Loren’s gymnastics team practice. She’d come to watch a practice by way of apology for missing the competition a couple of days ago where they’d won the right to compete in the championship. She watched him twist and turn in midair and wondered at the strength it took to do that. Finally, he landed perfectly with no hop, which she’d learned was important.

She watched while he threw a jacket on over his uniform and walked towards her. She suppressed a smile as she appreciated his masculine form.

“Looks good!” She called.

“Thanks, we’re looking forward to the championship in a few weeks.” He said as soon as he reached her.

“I’m sure you’ll win.”

“Hey, do you want to go grab a rootbeer? You know, to celebrate.”

“Sure.”

They walked together toward the exit. “You know, you could tryout next season. From what I’ve heard, you’d make a great addition to the team.”

She laughed without looking at him, “What have you heard?”

“Oh, just a few stories from your ex-sparing partners.”

She laughed, she did have a certain coordination on the wrestling mat, but that was as far as it went. “Be that as it may, there’s no possible way you’d get me up on those things.” She said, gesturing to the horizontal bars just as they walked out the door and turned toward a nearby café.

“Why not? You’d be great.”

“Because I’m afraid of heights!”

He laughed, “I find that hard to believe.”

She simply shrugged as they walked into the café and sat down at the bar. Loren ordered two rootbeers and turned to face her. “I can’t believe _you_ are afraid of heights. I didn’t think you were afraid of anything.”

She smiled wide, “Terrified. Always have been. When I was a child we weren’t allowed to go into the forest, but the kids I grew up with would dare each other to climb just about any structure that was over two meters high.”

“And you stayed safely on the ground?” He asked as two bottles of rootbear were set in front of them.

“No.” She laughed self-consciously, “I climbed the highest! I was just completely terrified the entire time!”

He laughed too, “Now _that_, I believe.” They each took a drink. “So, now the ‘Fearless Kee’ persona is shattered.”

“Trust me, I’m afraid of plenty of things.” She said softly, then decided to change the subject, “So, where are you going to put the trophy when you win it?”

“If we win it,” he corrected her, “The main trophy will go in the display case in the main hall. They’ll give us each individual awards and I’ll probably send it to my parents. They’re the ones that encouraged me to get started in the first place.” He annoyingly turned the conversation back to her. “So, come on, where were you for a week?”

“It was a special mission. I can’t really talk about it.” She was grateful for the excuse. Lweha, Maggie and a couple of the female security cadets had coerced her into telling them too much already about her little side adventure while still maintaining silence about the actual mission.

“Is everything ok?” He asked, concerned.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” It wasn’t quite a lie. She still regretted what happened, but she and Jeff had worked it out in the end, so it was mostly ‘fine.’ So why did she still feel guilty keeping it from him?

He let the matter drop and they sat in silence for a few minutes. “Hey, do you want to come to another one of Moritsson’s movie nights?”

“Uh, I don’t know.” She said hesitantly. The other movie nights they went to had been a lot of fun, but the ones Mortisson tended to choose… she wasn’t so sure.

“You didn’t like the last one?”

“It was interesting… It’s just… why would someone demand that they bring them a ‘shrubbery’?” She asked, holding up her hands.

Loren laughed at the mention of what seemed to have been one of his favorite parts of the movie, “That entire movie, and that’s what you get hung up on?”

“It just makes no sense. How does someone even think to write something like that?”

“That’s the point! It’s completely nonsensical.”

Kee waved off the explanation, still laughing. She fully expected him to insist that she watch it again with him until she found it as amusing as he evidently did. She didn’t mind.

After a moment, he spoke up again. “Ok, no movie, so how about another flight lesson.” He’d been coaching her on tight proximity flight techniques.

“That sounds like a good idea.” The two of them in a small shuttle cockpit did sound appealing. She tried to convince herself that it was only to help develop her piloting skills so she could be a more effective officer. That it had nothing to do with bumping shoulders or the smell of his cologne.

She watched the bubbles in the characteristically cheerful Starfleet drink. Jeff had read her so thoroughly. She intended to include no romance in her life, nothing for her future but her job. But still.

She watched him sip his drink, thinking about how his lips would feel on hers. Her heart began to quicken as she studied his hands and thought about them wrapped around her waist and touching her breasts.

Suddenly Traie’s face appeared in her mind as he said a silent ‘I love you’ to her. Her heart felt like it caved in and she felt heat on the back of her neck. She quickly turned away from Loren.

“I… I need to go.” She said. All she could think about was leaving. Going somewhere away from him. Somewhere alone. She slid off of the stool and hurried toward the door. Loren called after her, but she just called to him from the doorway without turning around, “I have some work to catch up on. I’ll see you later.”

She walked quickly to the dormitory, fighting tears, trying desperately to push the feelings back down where they belonged, but it was impossible this time. She managed to avoid interacting with anybody while she made her way back to her room. As soon as the door shut behind her, she leaned her back against it and allowed the tears to finally flow. After all the years she’d pushed this away, it came rushing back up so forcefully that she was powerless to stop the pain.

Traie’s face came to her mind again, mouthing that silent and final ‘I love you’ to her. She slid down to sit on the floor and laid her head down on her knees. Rough sobs shook her body as the images continued. Traie on his knees, the flash of the phaser, his body falling limp to the ground. And the sound, that horrible sound of them dragging him away. His body to be vaporized in a disposal unit on that moon. Her stomach twisted like she might get sick.

Her heart ached for him. His smile, his laugh, his touch. The comforting warmth of his body against hers on a cold night.

When she’d returned to Bajor without him, nobody in either cell had said anything to her. They knew. For either of them to return without the other, it was clear what had happened. She’d been thankful for that silence at the time, it made it easier to continue burying her feelings. It was the only way she could go on and keep fighting. And now, sitting with Loren, the feelings she’d been denying she had for him, had brought all of pain and loss up to the surface.

Why hadn’t this happened with Jeff? Why had she panicked like this now and not then?

She knew why. She didn’t have feelings for Jeff, it was purely physical. But Loren… She rested her head on her knees. All she could do was sit on the floor and weep. For the man she’d lost and for the man she couldn’t allow herself to love.

* * *

Maggie approached Kee’s door with a mixture of concern and apprehension. Loren told her that Kee seemed upset when she had suddenly left him half an hour ago. Kee seemed like a generally happy person, laughing and talking with her friends, but Maggie knew her friend carried a lot of things inside that she couldn’t or wouldn’t share with the rest of them.

Even when she did share, it was usually vague and ambiguous. Maggie couldn’t begin to imagine what she’d been through, but she hoped she could at least provide some kind of comfort for whatever Kee was going through.

Maggie pressed the chime next to the door, but was met with only silence. “Computer, confirm that Cadet Norvish is in her room.”

“Cadet Norvish is in her dormitory room.” The computer responded.

She pressed the chime again, still nothing. “Kee,” She called through the door, “I know you’re there. Please let me in.” She waited a few moments, “I don’t know what’s going on, but I want you to know I’m here for you. No matter what it is. And I’m not leaving.”

_“Come in.”_ Kee’s voice was uncharacteristically tentative.

The door slid open, but the room was mostly dark, the only dim light came from the computer console. Even so, she quickly spotted Kee sitting on the floor, leaning against the opposite wall. She looked like she’d been crying, hard. She seemed so fragile at that moment. 

Maggie recalled that someone had once said ‘sometimes the strongest people are the most broken inside.’ She wanted to rush to her side, but held back for a moment, unsure what to say.

“Did Loren send you?” She asked with a hint of hostility.

“No, but he’s worried about you.” She sat down on the floor next to her. “He said you were having a good time, but you left suddenly.”

“It’s not his fault. He didn’t do anything.” She assured her. “It’s just that…” She stopped as her voice tightened and she buried her face in her hands.

Maggie new better than to tell her it would be alright, so she draped her arm around Kee’s shoulders in silence.

The amber, red and blue light from the console reflected in the tears brimming in her eyes. After long moments she was able to speak again. “His name was Traie and I loved him.” She seemed to be willfully controlling her emotions now. “He was everything to me, like a piece of myself.”

“Something terrible happened.” She was beginning to understand now. Having grown up the daughter of a ships’ counselor, she’d seen many people grieve for lost loved ones and recognized the weight of the pain Kee was holding back. More than Maggie could imagine.

Kee only nodded. “We were on a mission together. Things went wrong and they executed him.” Her voice choked on the last part of the sentence and she pressed her hand over her eyes. After a moment she dropped her hand back into her lap and continued, “I had to complete the mission, so I buried the pain. Packed it down as hard as I could. And when it was all over it was just easier to leave it there. I could never bring myself to face it.”

Now Maggie felt tears coming to her own eyes.

“I see it, when I close my eyes at night. I hear it…” She closed her eyes and rubbed the sides of her forehead as though that would take it away. “I never really grieved for him. I just miss him so much.” With that Kee fell into open sobs. Maggie pulled her close and just let her cry without a word.

* * *

Maggie had been evasive when Loren asked about whatever was bothering Kee. Assuming it was something private, he’d given her space for a few days, but still felt like he needed to make things right with her.

Whenever Kee wasn’t studying or in classes she was usually in the security side of the gym where she’d worked for Commander Baker since their Freshman year.

The workout room was empty and silent except for Kee’s hard, measured exhales somewhere that was obscured at first, so he ventured farther in.

When he found her, he slowed to a stop and waited. She was hanging upside-down with her arms crossed over her chest and one knee hooked over a pull-up bar doing some kind of inverted sit-ups, lifting her entire torso up to the bar then slowly letting back down. Based on the muscle contour on her stomach, he guessed the weight bands on her wrists added considerably more load to the lift.

He waited for her to finish without saying a word, certain she’d heard him come in well before he’d even spotted her.

Finally, she lifted up once more and grabbed the bar, unhooking her leg and dropped lightly down to the floor.

“Look. I’m sorry I took off like that the other day.” She said, working to catch her breath with a sheen of sweat clinging to every bit of her exposed skin.

“Hey, I was going to say sorry. If I said something…”

“Oh, no, no, no. It’s not your fault. I just,” she shook her head, searching for words, “I have issues.” She laughed self-consciously, “Obviously.” 

“Understandable. It’s actually amazing that you’re as sane as you are.”

Her jaw dropped at his statement.

“I mean… that’s… that didn’t come out the way it was supposed to.”

She only shrugged. “You’re right, though.” When he didn’t say anything, she continued. “When I first came here, it was _strongly suggested_ that I see a counselor on a regular basis.” She shrugged. “I guess they want to make sure their security officers are mentally stable or something like that.” She said with another self-conscious laugh. “And I did. For a while. But…”

Finally, she sat down heavily on a bench and began unfastening the bands on her wrists. “It’s just that I’ve dealt with hardship and loss and pain all my life. I learned to put it away and move on, keep going. Because that was the only way to survive. There was no time to grieve.” She finally looked up at him, “Obviously that’s not going to work as a long-term solution. But then to go back and dig it all up in a counselling session… I just couldn’t do it anymore, so I stopped going.”

He sat on the bench next to her without interrupting.

“I guess I should start going again. It’s not like it’s just going to go away.” She sighed, “It’s like there’s this disconnect between my life then and my life now. As though I could just break it off and leave it all behind, pretend it was somebody else. But it doesn’t work like that. And even if it did, I couldn’t bring myself to forget the people we lost. To act like they never existed.”

He’d never seen her quite like this and hated to see her hurting so badly. Had he somehow triggered this the other day? Had he come on too strong?

It seemed as though it would be best for him to pull back and just be her friend. He wanted to somehow communicate that to her. That he would be there for her in any role that she needed him while she worked through whatever this was about, but wasn’t sure how to say it. “You know I’m always here for you, no matter what.” He said softly.

She turned to him without meeting his eyes and just when it seemed like she would, two male cadets noisily entered the room. Kee quickly squeezed his hand, “Thanks.” She said quietly then stood up to greet them, already back to her normal persona as though a switch had been flipped. “Hey, you girls back for more already?” She called to them with all the bluster of security personnel.

Loren stood to leave as the three bantered between them and he left Kee to her work.


	11. Tracking Down the Past

_2375, Starfleet Academy, YEAR 3_

Kee beamed down to the fifth planet in the Magrez system with her team: Maggie, Loren, Jack and Lweha. There had been very few projects of this type. Anticipating the necessity of pulling cadets out early to join the war, many of the non-essential courses had been delayed, the requirements to be fulfilled in absentia after the war.

The Miranda-class ship, Antares, had brought them from Earth along with two other teams. Each team was beamed down to a different m-class planet in the system to study a five-kilometer area for two days. After that, Antares would pick them up and take them back to Earth. Very clean, very simple project.

In order to save time, the team had split up. Jack and Lweha went off to the east to study a water supply and the other three went in the direction of a large rock formation to the south-east of their beam-in site. Keeping an open comm signal, the five chatted as they worked. The others seemed to be enjoying their assignment, but Kee had felt like something was off since they beamed down. This deep in Federation territory, they expected to be perfectly safe, but she felt on edge anyway.

“Guys!” Maggie called, “Come look at this really great fungus!”

Loren walked over to where she was and Kee followed to find a grouping of cup-shaped, blue fungus with a bright orange edge all the way around. She’d seen plenty of fungus back when she lived in the forest, but this really was beautiful.

Maggie busied herself taking scans, holos and samples of the ‘really great fungus’ while Kee and Loren went back to their work. 

“She’s really enjoying this.” Kee said to him while scanning the rockface for microorganisms.

“Aren’t you?”

She sighed. “I don’t know. Something doesn’t feel right here.”

“You’re just feeling vulnerable because we’re the only vertebrates on the entire planet.”

“Oh, well, that makes me feel better.” She said with sarcasm.

“Glad to help.” He flashed her a smile as he followed his tricorder off in another direction.

She continued scanning and logging, scanning and logging. Her mind wondered back to Ilwea. Today was the anniversary of what had happened to him. She didn’t normally pay attention to such things, but that was something that was marked permanently into her memory. Maybe that’s why she was feeling so uneasy today.

The two of them had been captured when they went for medical supplies after shutting down that mining operation. They’d tortured him for days right in front of her. She remembered the smell of burning flesh. Her stomach twisted at the thought of it. She’d have given anything to take his place. He’d died and had to be revived over and over, eventually he’d lost both of his legs. The nerve damage was so bad that even now he difficulty with the prosthetics Starfleet had provided. 

Kee shook herself from the memory and refocused on her task before becoming aware that the comm chatter from her team had gone silent. Maggie was still within her line of sight and she looked over, she’d noticed it too. Kee tapped her commbadge but only received a tone that indicated it was inoperative. Maggie tried hers too with the same result.

Without a word Kee pulled out her phaser and charged off in the direction Loren had gone. She sprinted up and over a hill but skidded to a halt at the site of five Cardassians surrounding Loren. Two of them had their weapons trained on him. He gave her a resigned look.

“Drop your weapon.” One of them said.

Her mind raced to assess the situation. They were ununiformed but carrying military weaponry and insignia attached to their civilian clothes. One pointed his weapon at her, she might be able to take him, but it was the two holding Loren that made her comply. She dropped her phaser. Maggie came up behind her just then and silently did the same.

The one with the phaser aimed at her kept a safe distance away while another pressed a scanner to Kee’s thumb, allowing it to read her DNA, then brought the results to his superior.

“It’s her.” He said, satisfied, walked over to her. “We’ve been looking for you for a long time.” His insignia identified him as a gul. A former gul?

“What do you want with me?” She demanded. It could be one of a thousand things.

Instead of answering her, he turned to one of his men, “Find the other two.” Then he turned back to Kee, “To answer your question, I want you to pay for your crimes.” He let the thought hang in the air for a moment, “But not just yet.” He tapped the comm unit on his wrist. “Decloak and beam us aboard.”

The rocks and trees of the planet disappeared in a whirl of light to be replaced with the holding area of a Cardassian ship. A Cardassian ship with a cloaking device? Taking a moment to feel the gravity beneath her feet told her that this ship was not in space. They must have landed somewhere on the planet and laid in wait cloaked. The layout of the holding area, only three two-person-sized cells, suggested that it was a small ship.

A row of ID photos caught her eye. Her current Starfleet headshot was among them along with those of most of the rest of her former colleagues. Others of people she didn’t recognize were labeled ‘deceased’ or ‘cold.’

The Cardassians shoved the three of them into the cells. Forcefields confining Maggie and Loren were activated, but the gul stood in front of her cell, flanked by two guards with their phaser rifles trained on her. “I spent the last three years of the Occupation trying to track down a man codenamed The Cipher.”

Recognition must have passed across her face because he continued, “I see you’re familiar with his work. When our government decided, for political reasons, to withdraw from Bajor, my superiors were unhappy with my inability to identify this informant and I was disciplined accordingly. I’ve spent the last six years continuing to pursue him. And now you’re going to help me.”

She could only laugh in his face, “You’ve got to be joking.”

“Not at all.” He said, taking an ominous look at her two friends. “Trust me, you will be helping us.” With that he activated the forcefield and left, taking his men with him.

Kee swallowed hard and paced a few times. She couldn’t do this again.

“Who’s The Cipher?” Maggie finally asked.

“He was an off-world informant, very accurate and completely anonymous. Nobody knew who he actually was. We don’t even know for sure if he’s a ‘he’, it could have been ‘she’ or ‘they’ for all we knew. We couldn’t contact him, he always initiated contact. Never spoke directly, only coded messages. He’d send us intel on highly classified Cardassian projects, warn us of impending actions against us, that sort of thing. He’d been working with the Resistance for years by the time I’d joined. Anyone with direct information on who he was was long dead. After the Withdrawl, he just vanished.”

“Then how do these Cardassians expect to be able to find him?” Loren asked.

“I don’t know.” She looked back and forth between the two. The truth was that she did have some information on The Cipher. Not enough to track him down, but information that could be valuable if they did manage to. “And we need to get out of here before we find out.”

* * *

Loren watched Kee slowly pace her cell. Not with anxiety, more like she was studying it. He wanted to ask her if she had a plan, or more about this mysterious contact the Cardassians were looking for, but it was likely they were being monitored, so he kept silent.

Jack and Lweha were out there somewhere. Hopefully between the comms going down and her telepathy, they’d know to protect themselves.

He was frightened by what the Cardassians might do to them. Who wouldn’t be? But he wasn’t sure which of them was in the worse position, Kee or Maggie and himself. There was something she was holding back about The Cipher and she’d have to make a decision between loyalty to this informant and the safety of her friends. It seemed like no matter what she did, where she went, painful decisions followed her.

The doors opened and two of the Cardassians that had captured them entered. They stalked over to stand in front of his cell. One of them raised a phaser rifle at him while the other one lowered the force field. “State your name and rank for the record.” He said to him.

He glanced over at Kee, unsure whether he should comply, but she gave him an almost imperceptible nod. “Cadet Loren Dales.”

The Cardassian tapped something into his padd then grabbed Loren’s wrist to press his thumb to the scanner. With the phaser aimed at his chest, he didn’t resist. After that he reactivated the forcefield and moved to Maggie.

Again, the one with the phaser rifle aimed it at her while the other lowered the force field, looking her up and down with a disturbing expression. “State your name and rank for the record.”

“Cadet Margret Capshaw.” She mumbled without making eye contact.

He took hold of her hand and pressed her thumb to the scanner, but didn’t get go when it was finished. “It’s unfortunate that the two of you will die because of your association with this terrorist.” He said to them both. Maggie tried to pull her hand away, but he held on. “Although, I may have to make an exception for you.” He stepped into the cell and backed Maggie against the wall. “The gul owes me a favor,” he told the guard, “I think I’ll keep this one.” He turned back to Maggie, who had turned her face away from his, and ran the back of his finder along her jaw, down her neck and tugged at her uniform collar.

Loren wasn’t sure what to do. They couldn’t stand by and let this happen, but neither of them could do anything about it. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that Kee was tense, her hands balled into fists, he knew she couldn’t bear to allow it to happen either but she was behind a forcefield, just as helpless to do anything. The Cardassian had opened Maggie’s uniform down to her cleavage and she was nearing panic as he drew his finger along the opening.

Kee suddenly started speaking urgently in a language Loren didn’t understand. It was too harsh to be her native language, it must have been Cardassian. She continued shouting at them, he couldn’t even guess at what she was saying. Eventually he stopped and turned toward her. She’d hit a nerve somehow.

He stepped out of the cell and reactivated the force field. He walked over to Kee’s cell. She didn’t back down, looking directly into his eyes. Fearless.

Without being able to stare her down, he spoke, “What did you say to me?”

She narrowed her eyes and the edges of her lips curled slightly. “I’m sorry,” She said, switching back to Standard, “What I meant to say was that your children are illegitimate.” Apparently, a considerable insult.

The Cardassian turned to his guard with a look Loren couldn’t read, then calmly lowered the force field. Without warning he struck Kee across the face with the heal of his hand. She staggered back against the wall. The Cardassian stepped into the cell. Loren couldn’t see what was happening, but heard several more blows. Then the two moved back into view. The Cardassian lifted Kee by the front of her uniform and slammed her against the wall. Her head hit the wall with a sickening thud. Her eyes glazed over for a moment but she stayed conscious. There was a bruise already forming below one eye and blood trickled out of her nose. The Cardassian held her there against the wall and leaned close to her face. “Would you care to repeat that?”

Kee looked like she was fighting to stay conscious, “Motiik kahra.” He’d heard her curse using that word before. He had a pretty good idea what it meant.

The Cardassian only laughed, “No,” he turned to look back at Maggie, “I think I’ll save that for Margret.” With that he let go of Kee and she slid down the wall to the floor. “The gul will be ready for you soon.”

Loren was worried he’d go after Maggie again, but instead just reactivated the force field and marched out of the room leaving his guard standing at the door.

* * *

Kee’s head pounded so hard it was difficult to concentrate. Soliciting a beating was a risky way to get a chance to pickpocket a Cardassian, but it had been the only thing she could come up with at the time. She did her best to ignore her friends’ concerned looks, she needed to focus on several tasks. She carefully slipped the power cell that she’d taken off of the glinn into her uniform sleeve.

Next, she needed to know how much the guard by the door could see what she was doing. She pulled her knees up and put her hands in her lap as though she was holding something. “Hey, Loren. What’s the resonance frequency for a 3.4 gigajoule force field?” She asked, using the most suspicious voice she could manage.

“Um… 8×1014 Hz” He answered.

The Cardassian walked around to where he would have a better view. Gotcha. Kee thought and held up her empty hands innocently.

“Don’t test me, Bajoran.” He said, glowering down at her.

She allowed a smirk to creep onto her lips.

When he had returned to his place, she carefully pulled the power cell out of her sleeve, keeping her hands in the same location as before. Based on the layout and design of the holding area, she’d determined it was an older design that had been taken out of service over a decade earlier because of a design flaw.

In order to exploit that design flaw, she needed to chip the casing off of one end of the power cell. After that she would place it near the part of the wall where she knew the shield generator was located. The proximity of an uninsulated power source would knock out the force field… if it didn’t blow up or electrocute her first, that is.

* * *

Loren had thought Kee’s question was strange at first. At least, he did until he saw her working on something concealed in her lap. He sat on the bench in his cell and kept one eye on the guard and one on Kee. It seemed like she’d recovered from that blow to the head, but he knew better than that. She was tough and could hide pain well. He remembered a training exercise a while back where she’d ended up with a deep gash on the palm of her hand. She’d barely winced when the medic tended to it.

Maggie had fallen silent, sitting on her bench with her knees to her chest, clearly agitated, but as composed as any Starfleet officer would be in her position. She trusted Kee to protect her. They both did. And he was certain that wherever the other two members of their team were, they were working on a plan to help them in whatever way they could. He just hoped help would come soon enough for all of them.

For lack of anything better to do, Loren studied the wall of photos across from his cell. Kee’s current Starfleet photo was there with smaller photos below it depicting a chronological series of her likeness. She looked very young in the first one with the soft features of a child. Her forehead wrinkled against the top of her ridges. She must have been terrified.

It was impossible to tell how much time had passed from that first picture to the next, but there was already a hardness to her features and her face had thinned considerably by that point. She already looked much more like the person he knew than the first picture.

The next picture made him smile inwardly. She had to be sixteen or seventeen by then. Her lips were pursed defiantly and her eyes were not oriented toward the camera as though they’d caught her in the middle of an eye-roll.

“Is something funny?” Kee suddenly asked him and he realized that the smile must have crept onto his lips.

“I was just admiring your photos.” He said honestly.

Her face twisted into an exact reproduction of the photo he’d just been looking at and he burst into laughter.

Kee only sighed and rested her head back against the wall. She reached up to her collar and removed her uniform jacket and the gray turtleneck next. Then she bunched them up and set them behind her. And continued working on whatever she had concealed.

After a long time, she shifted her position, placing the object she’d been working on on the floor under the pieces of her uniform. Her fingertips were bloodied from whatever she’d been doing to the object. She slid it slowly toward the edge of the force field.

When it reached a certain point, electricity arced from the object to the wall and sent a chain reaction through the force field emitters. Sparks exploded up from the floor and down from the ceiling.

Just as the Cardassian was rushing toward her, Kee launched herself out of the smoky cell at him. Her inertia carrying them both to the ground. He was able to stand up and back away, pulling out his phaser.

She lunged for the phaser, grasping his arm with one hand and slamming her elbow into his face with the other. She kicked the side of his knee and he crumpled to the floor pulling her with him. As the two hit the ground, the phaser clattered away from them.

With the Cardassian on top, pinning her down she stretched her arm toward the phaser but it was far out of reach. Then Loren saw something reflective in the Cardassian’s hand.

“Knife!” He yelled to her.

She reached up and caught his wrist as it came down. He pressed down with the advantage of gravity but she held him firm. She intertwined her legs around his, twisted and flipped him over onto his back. With the same movement, she slammed his head into the floor to knock him out.

Faster than Loren had expected, she was on her feet and ran to pick up the phaser, but it had already taken too long, there were footsteps of soldiers at the door.

She fired toward the door and retreated behind the charred lip of the holding cell she’d been in. He could see by the look on her face that she didn’t have a way out of this.

Several Cardassians at the door fired continuously at the wall behind which she took cover, preventing her from shooting back, or seeing the soldier that had knocked her around earlier creep up to her.

Loren tried to call out to warn her, but the phaser fire was too loud. When it stopped, she leaned out to return fire, but the Cardassian grabbed her wrist and twisted hard. There was a loud snap and she cried out, losing her grip on the phaser. Then he pushed her farther into the cell.

Once again, Loren couldn’t see what was going on, only sounds of a struggle. 

When the Cardassian pulled Kee back out, holding onto the back of her uniform another one of them held up a charred piece of a power cell to show his superior. That’s what she had been working on.

The first one looked at his belt to see an empty spot from which Kee had evidently taken it when he was in her cell before. He threw her up against a section of wall between the cells, her elbows and forehead pressed against it.

“Search her!” He told the others.

One of the other Cardassians searched her thoroughly, very thoroughly, leaving no part of her untouched.

When they were finished searching, _groping_ was a more accurate word, they pulled out a pair of restraints and latched one side onto her left wrist. The other side was snapped around a piece of the burned structure.

Unable to stand on her own for a moment, she dropped to her knees, cradling her right arm while her left dangled above her from the restraint. All but one of the Cardassians left, taking their unconscious crewmate with them.

Slowly, Kee managed to twist herself into a sitting position, breathing hard and shallow. “I’m sorry, guys.” She finally said, “I’m out of options.”

* * *

Kee flexed her left hand to keep the blood flowing. It had almost gone numb already. Her right, though, cradled close to her body, continued to ache angerly with every heartbeat. It was definitely broken. She’d failed and unless she could come up with another plan, they were all going to pay for it.

The light above her flickered randomly, making it hard to focus on any thought for very long. She wondered how Jack and Lweha were managing. Out there where she couldn’t do anything to help them.

She scoffed inwardly, as though she could do anything for _anybody_ at this point. One arm broken and her other shackled to the remains of the holding cell she’d failed to escape from. As a Starfleet officer and a former terrorist, she should have done better.

She’d like to claim that she’d been in worse situations, but could only think of one. And that one had cost Ilwea dearly. She could do nothing to save him. If the others hadn’t come for them when they did, he would have died because she wasn’t strong enough or cunning enough to save him. Now she was helpless to save Maggie and Loren and they were alone on this planet for another two days. A lot could happen in two days.

She hated the fact that they’d been dragged into this mess. It was her informant, her past.

From her position, she could see into Loren’s cell. He was laying down on the bench, staring at the ceiling. Suddenly she felt like she’d wasted the last three years with him. All those times studying together, eating together, finding any excuse to be around each other. Had she really expected to continue denying her feelings for him? Did she really expect to live the rest of her life without falling in love again? And now she might never get the chance to tell him.

She closed her eyes and shook her head at herself. When she opened them she found herself staring at the wall of ID photos. Ren’s and Joial’s were there. Cadda’s was right next to hers. It was a recent photo that she recognized had been taken for the Federation News Source. In it, her hair was pure white with pink and green tips. She looked beautiful and happy.

The older photos were entirely different. Not only because her hair was its natural brown color, but because of what had happened to her. Each photo farther back in time depicted a darker and darker pain until she reached the earliest one where it wasn’t there at all. That first photo was the only affirmation that she’d once been unbroken. Before what that bastard had done to her.

With that thought in her mind, she turned to Maggie, who had also laid down like Loren. Kee’s fingers twitched thinking of strangling the glinn for even touching her. She looked away from her before tears had a chance to form.

That’s when she noticed that the lights weren’t blinking randomly anymore. There was a pattern to them. She watched the pattern until it repeated. She’d learned about this in an Earth history class: Morse Code.

The lights blinked: short, long, long, long. Then a pause: short, long, short, short. Then another pause and it repeated.

“J” and “L”… Jack and Lweah!

Containing her excitement and unease, she stretched her back, which was already getting sore from sitting in that position, and turned to get on her knees. Then carefully, painfully, got herself onto her feet.

The Cardassian guard stiffened, but she scoffed at him, “Relax. My arm’s just getting numb.”

Just as she was beginning to wonder what their plan was, the lights and force fields winked out with a declining hum. Her body tensed, but there was nothing she could to just yet. In the emergency lighting, she could see the guard lift his phaser to the other two, keeping them in their cells. Kee, of course, remained chained to the structure.

The gul, glinn and another guard hurried in with their phasers drawn. They looked far more agitated than she’d have expected for only two intruders.

The glinn stood next to the guard covering Maggie and Loren while the gul with the other guard marched over to Kee. With the guard’s phaser trained on her, the gul reached over and unlatched the restraints from the wall. Then he grabbed her other arm and added it to the restraints, locking it down tight around the broken bone.

Kee did her best not to react, but winced as pain shot up her arm.

Once the gul had her restrained, he pulled her roughly forward and pressed her down onto her knees. Loren made a move to reach her, but the glinn immediately slammed his phaser rifle into his stomach, forcing him to double over, then he aimed it at his head.

With a sick feeling of déjà vu, Kee cried out, “No!” Her stomach twisted, expecting to witness for the second time the death of the man she loved.

To her relief, the gul ordered him, “Don’t kill him just yet.” Then he tapped the comm unit on his arm to open a ship wide channel. “Starfleet team. This is your only warning, withdraw or we will kill the prisoners.”

Silence answered him. ‘Starfleet team’? Kee wondered again what Jack and Lweha’s plan was. She, at least, remained ready for anything.

Suddenly the door to the holding area opened, drawing the attention of all four Cardassians. When no one was on the other side of the door, Kee ducked down and lashed out with her leg to sweep the gul’s feet out from under him. She vaguely perceived Maggie and Loren moving on the two that were guarding them. She’d taught both of them a bit more than the standard self-defense courses did. She hoped it was enough.

Kee leapt to her feet just as a maintenance hatch was kicked into the room. With her arms still bound behind her back, she could only manage to knee the fourth Cardassian just as Jack emerged from the maintenance crawlway and jumped on him, wresting the tip of the guard’s phaser to point away from the others.

By then the gul was back on his feet but the quarters were too close and chaotic for him to use his phaser. He grasped her upper arms but she shoved her shoulder against his elbow, breaking his grip on that side, then in rapid succession she slammed her knee in to his stomach, kicked him squarely in the chest and kicked the inside of his knee. As he dropped down, she bashed her knee into his chin and he fell backwards unconscious.

As she checked to see that the others were similarly incapacitated, Jack searched the gul to find the deactivation switch for the restraints. He pulled out the unit and pressed the key.

The restraints dropped away and the pain diminished immediately. She cradled her sore arm to her chest as she picked up a phaser rifle and hoisted it in her left hand. Maggie pushed past her into the holding cell’s rubble, but she ignored her. “Good to see you two.”

“Same here, but the reunion will have to wait, the power should be coming back on any minute.” He told her. Almost on cue, the lights came back up.

“Let’s move out.” She said and nodded for Jack to open the door.

* * *

Maggie tucked a small, straight piece of duranium composite into the back of her waist band as she followed the others through the corridor feeling vulnerable as the only one without a weapon. They had traveled only a short distance before phaser fire erupted at the front of their small group.

Kee, Jack and Loren managed to effectively surround Lweha and herself, maneuvering them in some determined direction. Between phaser volleys, Kee asked, “What happened with you two?”

“When the comms went dead, we backtracked,” Jack said, “and came across Cardassians searching the area, but no sign of the three of you. Lweha tracked you telepathically to what looked like an empty clearing, but she insisted that’s where you were.”

A pair of Cardassians came around the corner in the direction they were heading, forcing them to reverse down another corridor. Maggie wasn’t sure how she did it with only one functioning arm, but Kee managed to both guide and block her while still returning fire. She began to direct them down a side corridor, but Jack reached out to stop her. “Not that way.”

“The port hatch is the fastest way out.” She argued.

“We need to head out the aft hatch, though.” Without giving Kee a chance to decide, he continued in the direction they’d been going. She followed and he resumed his story, “So, I rigged up my tricorder to detect tachyon distortions and was able to identify the cloaked ship. Once we’d located an external hatch, we managed to get inside and hid in the maintenance crawlways. We found a juncture with a diagnostic console and from there I was able to project false sensor readings to make it look like Antares had returned and that there was a landing party surrounding the ship.”

“Nice!” Kee said as another barrage of phaser fire forced them to speed up their pace. Soon they found themselves backed up against a gear-like hatch similar to the ones she’d once seen on Deep Space Nine. Through the window, she could see the planet’s landscape.

With the others keeping up cover fire, Kee handed Maggie the phaser rifle and pulled the panel off of the keypad next to the hatch. Then she reached her left hand deep inside the circuitry. After a few moments of concentration, the massive hatch began to roll to the side.

Maggie handed the phaser back to Kee while Lweha and Loren squeezed through the widening gap and began to study the area for hostiles. Maggie emerged next in time to see Kee and Jack back their way out of ‘nothing’ with a doorway in it.

Jack stood next to the opening with his eyes darting back and forth between the edge of the door to the right as though calculating or measuring.

“Come on.” Kee said impatiently.

Finally, Jack pointed to empty space next to the door and told Loren and Kee, “Shoot right here.” Then lifted and aimed his own phaser. The three beams converged on a spot that quickly began to smoke. A moment later it sparked and a faint outline of the ship became visible for a moment. “That’ll keep them from being able to lift off any time soon.”

“Go now!” Kee urged, ushering them away from the cloaked ship.

Once again, Kee and Jack lead the way, winding them through the sparse terrain. This part of the planet didn’t have much in the way of tall plant life, but what it lacked there it made up for with rock. Lots of it. Boulders, outcroppings, crevasses, fissures. Plenty of places for the cadets to hide, but plenty of places for them to be ambushed, too.

After moving uphill at a fast pace for a distance that finally made even Kee winded, she stopped the group, “Can you tell where they are?” She asked Lweha.

Lweha stared into the distance for a moment, breathing hard. “I can feel six of them out here with us.”

“Are they close?”

She paused again, “No, they’re half a kilome…”

“What?”

She shook her head, “I just lost them. They disappeared.”

“Some kind of dampening field.” Jack suggested. “Probably the same thing they were using when we first beamed down.”

Maggie spoke up, “If they’re not close, we have time to stop and take a look at that arm.” She told Kee.

Kee looked like she was going to reject that idea, but Maggie put on her most stubborn expression, which she’d learned from Kee herself, and she relented. “Ok.” Kee looked around, “Up there.” She guided them to a more sheltered location farther up the hill.

Resting her back against the rock face, Kee’s calm exterior cracked just a bit. Maggie could see the pain on her face. But, just as quickly, it vanished.

“Sit down. Let me take a look.” She told her. When Kee sat on the sparse groundcover, Maggie looked into her eyes, comparing her pupils against each other both in and out of the light. “You have a concussion. Do you feel dizzy? Sick? Tired?”

“Little bit.” She said, though from the way that glinn had slammed her head against the wall, Maggie suspected it was a massive understatement.

“Tell me if any of it gets suddenly worse. I need to take a look at your arm.”

Kee laid her phaser down on the ground and offered her right arm to Maggie. There was a deep bruise, but nothing poking the skin up. That was a good sign, at least.

“This is going to hurt.” Maggie told her.

“Just do what you need to do.” With that Kee closed her eyes and prepared herself for the pain.

Maggie felt as carefully as she could along the length of the two bones of her lower arm. The radius, or the equivalent of that bone, she’d never thought to learn the Bajoran name for it, was intact but may have had a hairline crack. Next, she felt along the ulna. Kee’s muscles twitched as Maggie’s fingers detected the break, which curved around the bone. “It’s a spiral fracture, only slightly misaligned.” She said pulling off her uniform tunic. “I’ll need to splint it.” She pulled out the piece of duranium she’d picked up earlier and began tearing strips of her tunic to secure the splint.

While she worked, Jack looked up from a comm unit he was working on. “What did you do to that cell, anyway?”

Kee smiled, “There’s a design flaw in the holding cells on that type of ship. You can cause a power surge in the shield generator by placing an uninsulated power source near it. I used a power cell I ‘borrowed’ from one of our friends and peeled off the casing.”

“Are you crazy? Removing the casing from a power cell is extremely dangerous.”

“So are the Cardassians.” Kee said plainly, but then sighed. “Didn’t work anyway, though. I wasn’t fast enough.”

Maggie tied the last piece onto the splint. As soon as her arm was secure, Kee was back on her feet. “Lweha, based on the last locations you had for the patrols, which direction do you feel is our best bet?”

She pointed farther up the mountain, roughly the direction they’d been going. “That way.”

“Up it is, then.” Kee said and they began to climb once again.

* * *

Darkness had begun to fall around them, but Kee kept not-so-gently urging them on. Loren was grateful for her persistence even through the fatigue, but it was beginning to get too dark to see. Finally, Kee stopped beside a tall segment of rock that jutted out from the mountainside and turned around to inspect the way they’d come. They’d ascended quite a distance and between the walls of rock they could see the dark valley stretched out behind them. It would have been a beautiful scene except that the valley held a partially cloaked Cardassian ship and an indefinite number of Cardassian troops searching for them.

“We need to stop for the night. We can barely see where we’re going anymore.” He told her.

She nodded, “I’d be a lot happier if we knew where the patrols were.” Then she looked up at the rock next to her and took a step back.

There was a flat ledge just above their heads and another larger one above that. He had a feeling he knew what she was thinking. “I’ll go, you’re hurt.”

“You don’t know what to look for. I’ll be fine, just give me a boost.”

“You can’t…” He began, but she had that look in her eyes that told him he wasn’t going to win. “I’ll go with you.”

She turned to the others, “Wait here.” Then he laced his fingers together and held them out to her. She placed her foot in his hands and he lifted her up high enough to grab the ledge with her good arm. She was heavier than he’d expected for someone so slight. Once she had ahold of the ledge, he changed his grip and pushed her the rest of the way up. Then he found some handholds and climbed up.

Up on the ledge, they followed the same procedure. He lifted her to grab the next ledge then pushed her up and followed. The higher ledge hung out away from the mountain side to offer an unobscured, panoramic view of the valley. Kee scooted out to the edge on her stomach and Loren moved up next to her. “I thought you were afraid of heights.”

“You tell me.” She held out her shaking hand in front of him and swallowed hard. Despite the dizzying height, she scanned the lowland slowly. He studied it but couldn’t see anything but darkness. Finally, she pointed, “See that? That flicker of green? That’s their scanner.”

He followed where she was pointing. At first, he couldn’t see anything, but after a long time he finally saw a faint green light, far away below them. “I see it.” He said, but she was already looking somewhere else.

“There’s another.” She pointed, “And another. And there.” She fell silent again for a long time, searching. “I count nine of them. Spread out in the valley, but they haven’t come up the mountain yet. If the temperature drops like it did last night, they’ll either have to go back inside, or the cold will at least slow them down considerably.” With that she pulled away from the edge.

He lowered himself back down to the first ledge. Kee swung her legs over the edge and let herself down as far as she could with only one arm. From there he reached up to catch her around the waist to gently set her down, then they repeated the process until they were both back on the ground.

Kee gave the others a quick recap of the enemy’s location, then said, “We should be ok to rest here for a few hours. I’ll take watch.”

Loren spoke up, “Uh, not by yourself.” Then he turned to Maggie, “If she has a concussion, it’s better for someone to be with her, right?”

Maggie nodded, “That’s right.”

Kee looked back and forth between the two of them and finally deflated a tiny bit. “Fine. But you two are overreacting.”

While they were working that out, Jack had settled himself down out of the way to work on the comm unit and Lweha set up a pile of stones near him. She tapped a few settings on her phaser and fired into the rocks until they glowed red. “Too bad we don’t have some kind of covering to keep the heat in.” She said, already shivering.

“Wake me if that headache gets any worse.” Maggie told Kee.

“I will. Get some rest.” She replied and found a spot where she could see both down the slope where they’d come from and up where he assumed they’d go next. Once she’d settled down in a cross-legged position, she began tapping through settings on her phaser and flipping open various access flaps to check its systems.

“So, what’s the plan for morning?” He said quietly to avoid disturbing those who were resting, then realized her arms were bare. He slipped his uniform tunic off and handed it to her.

She draped it over her shoulders. “We keep moving. Either for another day and a half or until Jack can get a signal through to Antares.” She stole a glance at Jack who was still bent over several devices that he’d opened up and pulled the insides out.

“What if they give up and leave to track down somebody else on their list once they fix their ship.” Loren asked her.

She shook her head and laid her phaser across her lap. “They won’t.” She reached for his phaser and began going through the same procedure with it. “Not that easily anyway. They took a huge risk abducting four Federation citizens. If they had any other leads, they never would have risked it. Besides, the people on that wall, the ones I know, at least, none of them would have any information about their target.” She shook her head. “No, they won’t leave without me if they can help it.”

She kept his phaser and handed him hers. “Here, this one’s got about twice as much power left as yours.”

“Are you saying I’m a bad shot?” He said, taking the weapon from her.

“No, I’m just better.” She teased. After looking over their surroundings for a moment, she said, “It’s possible they might leave their search party here while they lift off to face Antares in space.”

“Antares is, what, a Miranda class ship? It’s pretty outdated. That’s why they’re not on the front lines most of the time.”

“So is the Cardassian ship. It’s a pre-Occupation design that hasn’t been in use for decades, it’s practically an antique. Of course, if they’ve added a cloak, they may have augmented it in other ways.”

“Seems like you know a lot about Cardassian ships.”

She shrugged, “I had a good teacher. Ren was always eager to share his knowledge.” She smiled to herself. “I can’t tell you how many hours I spent at his side listening to what he had to say. Watching whatever he was doing, trying, and usually failing at first, to imitate it.”

“You miss him.”

She sighed and nodded. “Yeah. Especially at times like this.” She lowered her voice further. “I’ll tell you a secret. I have no idea what we’re going to do next. At any given moment, I’m just winging it. Right on the edge of panic.”

He snickered quietly, “I’m not sure if that’s comforting or disturbing. But it’s good to know I’m not the only one.”

“It’s always that way in situations like this. People think I’m confident, brave, whatever.” She looked over at him. “I’m not. I’m just really good at faking it.” He found that hard to believe, but she continued anyway. “There was a time, after we came out of an especially bad incident, when I wanted to give up. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I very nearly fell apart. Ren’s the one who pulled me back from the brink. Talked some sense into me.”

“Let me guess. He reminded you what you were fighting for.”

Kee scoffed, “Not exactly. He reminded me that we didn’t have a choice.”

“Got it!” Jack exclaimed, cutting off Loren’s response. “I was just able to ping Antares.” He manipulated his jury-rigged comm system, “What should the message say? It’s got to be short, no more than thirty characters.”

Kee spoke up, “Cardassians. Cloaked ship. And include the approximate coordinates of the ship.”

After a moment, Jack said, “Sent. Assuming they pick it up and decode it, it should only take them a few hours to return.”

* * *

“Back! Back! Back!” Kee urged her friends. The passages between the huge slabs of rock were getting tighter. They now had to weave through one at a time. With the Cardassians moving in on them fast, a speedy retreat was becoming difficult. To their advantage, the tighter the rout, the harder it would be for the larger Cardassians to squeeze through. To their disadvantage, however, the sun was peeking up above the horizon right behind the Cardassians’ position, blinding her when she looked that way. Kee caught a glimpse of one of their pursuers and fired a few shots to hold them off until the cadets could get through.

She continued to move backward in the direction they were moving while keeping her face toward the Cardassians, but she backed right up into the other members of her group who had nearly came to a stop. When she turned around she could see why. The passage had narrowed even more. They’d have to squeeze through, and that would slow them down even more.

Kee knelt down to provide cover fire when the Cardassians caught up to them. Loren stood over her with his phaser ready. Together they held them off while the others squeezed through the tight opening.

Once the others were through, she told him, “Go, I’ll be right behind you.”

“No, you go, I’ll cover you.”

“Thanks, but I’m a smaller person, I’ll fit through faster. You go first.”

He hesitated, and just as she was about to jab him with her elbow to get him moving, he gave in. “Vulcan-like-logic.” He muttered and began wedging himself into the space.

She heard him twist and grunt his way through while she kept firing. Just as she took a peek to see that her phaser’s power was getting dangerously low, she heard him stumble through to the other side. While he reached back through to shoot over her head, she turned sideways and squeezed through with much less effort.

She followed the rest of the group, ducking around the corner just as the Cardassians reached the narrow section and fired through it at them. They’d only gone a short distance when she heard the telltale signs of more Cardassians advancing from the other direction. “Back this way.” She told her companions and guided them back to a slight recess in the pathway.

“They have both directions blocked off. We’re trapped.” Jack said unnecessarily.

Kee practically shoved the others as far back behind the edge as she could and the four with phasers fired toward the approaching Cardassians. Weapons fire blasted the rocky protrusion they were hiding behind, disintegrating it a little more with each hit and showering them with hot rocks and dust. Just when their cover was nearly gone, she heard the distinctive high pitch shriek of Starfleet phasers above them.

When the dust began to clear, she looked up to see both red- and gold-uniformed officers that she recognized from Antares on the ledges above them, firing down into the rock cleft like they were shooting a cage of voles. She heard Commander Hawkins order Security Chief Rice and two others to stay with the cadets while the rest pursued the suddenly retreating Cardassians.

Leaving the two ensigns to stand guard, Lieutenant Rice jumped down to them with a med kit and handed it over to Maggie, who tore into it immediately.

Rice looked over each one, “Only the one injury?” He asked.

Maggie spoke up first while disassembling the splint on Kee’s arm. “Yes, sir, just Cadet Norv.”

He nodded, “There’s a dampening field blocking the transporter in this area and it’s about five-hundred meters back to the beam-out site.”

All but Kee nodded their understanding while Maggie worked. With the crude splint removed she scanned her with the tricorder. Kee waited with as much patience as she could manage. There were still Cardassians in the area to track down and the longer they waited, the harder that would be. After studying the tricorder for a long time, Maggie pressed a hypospray to her neck and the pain in her head was gone instantly.

Finally, she pulled a compression splint out of the med kit and wrapped it around her arm. While she secured the splint, Kee addressed Rice, “Sir, I request that you allow me to remain on the planet with the landing party to help take the Cardassians into custody.”

“Out of the question, Cadet, you’re injured.”

“Sir, I’ve been in worse situations. With Cadet Capshaw’s care, I’m already able to function better now that I have for the last day. I know the Cardassians. I can be an asset here.”

“Our orders are to get the five of you back to the ship, not take you into battle.” He turned away, indicating the discussion was over.

“Please, sir.” She moved in front of him, dropping all formality from her voice. “They have pictures of some of my friends on their wall. If they get away, they could go after them next. And it wouldn’t be the first time some Cardassian has gone on a killing spree for revenge.”

He regarded her for a long moment. She knew she was breaking protocol and asking him to break more protocols and disobey orders on her behalf. But she couldn’t just walk away from this. It was worth risking a reprimand in her record. Finally, he asked Maggie, “Cadet Capshaw, is it your opinion that Cadet Norv is fit for temporary duty?”

Maggie gave Kee a look that told her she wasn’t happy about being put on the spot, but told Rice, “If she doesn’t push herself too hard, she should be ok for another few hours. More than that and she needs to be treated in sickbay.”

He nodded and turned to the officers standing guard above them, “Get these four to the beam-out location. Cadet Norv and I will join the others.”

“Thank you, sir.” She said and followed him away without checking to see the reaction from her teammates, who she was sure were unhappy.

Once they were out of earshot, he said to her without amusement, “You might want to review away team protocols when we get back to the ship.”

“Yes, sir.” She said curtly.

“Once we’re able to pin them down, you stay on the perimeter. I don’t want you in the middle of an engagement with a handicap.”

“Yes, sir.”

With that understanding, he pulled the hand phaser off of his hip and handed it to her. “Can you shoot with your left?”

She smirked, “Yes, sir.” She repeated again but this time with confidence.

* * *

It wasn’t difficult to track the battle. Without tall trees to dampen the sound, the weapons fire echoed through the whole valley. Kee was certain they were right on the tail of the Starfleet team, but she watched their surroundings closely for Cardassians attempting to flank them.

Soon enough she spotted a trace of a Starfleet-gold uniform. Rice crouched down to get the officer’s attention. “Pst! Rezek!”

The ensign turned and backtracked to them. “Hawkins is over there.” She said, indicating the commander’s location to the right.

Rezek returned to her position as Kee followed Rice in the direction indicated. This didn’t seem right. Why would the Cardassians be retreating to the north when their ship was to the south? The ship surely would be a better stronghold than anything out here.

The two reached Hawkins and another gold-uniformed ensign. Kee joined the ensign and began locating Cardassians based on their return fire. With her eyes on the battle but her ears on the commander and the security chief, she heard them exchanging muttered words. Finally, she managed to make out Rice saying, “Sir, she’s a security cadet, she falls under my command, I made the call.”

Kee couldn’t hear the commander’s response, but out of the corner of her eye she saw both senior officers join her and the ensign. A shift in the firing patterns indicated that the Cardassians were on the move again, still toward the north. She stopped Rice before he moved off in pursuit. “Sir, I feel like the Cardassians are trying to lure us away from their ship.”

Instead of Rice, Hawkins replied, “Why do you think that?”

“They’re moving in the opposite direction of their ship. I feel like they’re stalling. Cadet Higgins was able to sabotage some of their systems while we were there, but if they’re able to keep us busy while they repair them, they’ll simply beam their people up once they lift off. And they might stand a chance at evading Antares once they’re up there.”

He thought for a minute. “What do you propose?”

“There must be what, fifteen of them out here? We’re only talking about a crew complement of maybe twenty-one or twenty-four. I say we split up, half of us head back to their ship, the other half stays on their tail and makes enough noise that they think they’ve still got the whole landing party behind them.”

Hawkins stole a glance at Rice who spoke up. “It’s a sound plan.”

“Alright. I’ll stay with this group. Rice, pick your team and head back down to the south.”

“Norv, you’re with me. As well as Whitney, Woragit, O'Neil, Streck, Wagner and Lambert.” The selected team began to move in the opposite direction from the rest of the group.

It didn’t take long to reach the location where she knew they’d find the cloaked ship. She’d kept up a hard pace, but the security officers had no trouble keeping up. They stopped at the last little bit of cover before the clearing.

“You’re sure this is where the ship is?”

“Yes, sir. We caused some damage to their propulsion system on our way out. They have to still be here.”

“Wagner and Norv, you stay here and cover us. The rest of you, split up into three teams and we’ll move in.”

Kee desperately wanted to argue, wanted anything but to be left on the sidelines, but she’d already pushed him as far as she felt she could, so instead she found a secure position behind a large rock where she had a good view of the clearing. Wagner nodded to her and circled around to another location.

With comms blocked, all she could do was wait and trust that her colleagues would carry out their duties. But, of course, they were Starfleet officers. There was no doubt in her mind that they would.

Suddenly a small Cardassian ship decloaked in the middle of the clearing, exactly where she remembered it was. There was no point in continuing to hide now that it was clear the Starfleet team knew their location. The moment it had fully shimmered into existence, it began firing into the surrounding area. Kee opened fire, targeting the ship’s phaser emitters with the highest power level her phaser could produce. Hand weapons were underpowered compared to onboard starship phasers, but this was an older ship, this many hand phasers and compression phaser rifles just might be enough. Seven other phaser beams converged on the two emitter mounts, finally blasting them to pieces.

The infiltration teams began to move in just as the two exterior hatches she could see from her position opened with soldiers just inside. Kee fired a few shots at the openings before hearing a sound behind her. She whipped around too late to use her phaser. The glinn who’d beaten her up earlier, who’d broken her arm, who’d threatened Maggie, rushed at her. He threw a wide punch that connected with her jaw, sending her tumbling backward over the rock. Somehow she lost her grip on her phaser and she saw the glinn leap over the rock toward her just as she was rolling to her feet.

He punched at her again and this time she caught his forearm with her left hand, twisted it to the side and jabbed her right elbow into his face. The impact sent pain shooting through the injured bones, but she ignored it. The splint would protect them.

He reached around the left-front of her chest and slammed her sideways into the rock. She still held onto his forearm and twisted it around to swing him against the rock too. His head hit and while he was still dazed she drove the heel of her left hand into his nose, crushing the cartilage. Then kneed him hard in the stomach, forcing him to drop to his knees.

Doubled over, he pulled a knife from somewhere and suddenly lashed out and sunk it into her thigh. A half-articulated curse erupted from her throat. In the moment before the pain became debilitating, she hammered her knee into his face in the same spot she’d hit before. His head snapped back against the rock and he fell to the ground without getting up.

Kee balanced on her uninjured leg and watched to see that he was still breathing. “Not so tough without your thugs to back you up.” She said to him. As she looked up, she could see the rest of the team already hauling a few cuffed Cardassians out of the ship. Kee breathed in relief and worked to stay on her feet for beam-out.

* * *

Captain Russell stood in sickbay waiting for her first officer to brief her. Meanwhile, she overheard part of a conversation between two of the cadets.

“I had said ‘don’t push yourself’, by the way.” Cadet Capshaw chastised her.

Cadet Norvish, ‘Norv’ from what Hawkins had said, put on an innocent expression, “What? It’s just a knife wound.” She said, seeming to be genuinely baffled by her friend’s reaction.

Capshaw set down the medical tools she’d been using. Dr. Evans and Nurse T'son were busy tending to some of the other injuries her security officers had received during the operation and Capshaw volunteered to tend to the other cadets. She shook her head, “Somehow I get the feeling I’m going to spend my entire career patching up people like you.”

Norv grinned wide and wrapped an arm around Capshaw’s shoulders. “I love ya too, Maggie.”

Russel smiled, remembering those kinds of friendships. 

“From what we can tell, these Cardassians aren’t affiliated with the Central Command or the Dominion. They’re rogue mercenaries, pursuing some anonymous informant for the Bajoran Resistance that may or may not even exist. According to their ship’s logs, they’ve already captured, interrogated and killed three former members of the Resistance over the last six years. Cadet Norv is also a former member with some kind of peripheral connection to the target.” Hawkins said.

“How did they get into the system without our detecting them?”

“We suspect they had landed on the planet and cloaked before we arrived.”

“Which suggests they knew ahead of time which planet they would be assigned to.”

“Correct.”

She didn’t like the sound of that, but the immediate concern was cleaning up this mess, Starfleet Command would have to look into the security breach themselves. “How many Cardassians do we have in custody?”

“Nineteen. We don’t have enough space in the brig, so we set up a holding area in the cargo bay.” Russel nodded her approval, then he continued. “The ships complement was twenty-one. Our theory is that the missing two are down there somewhere using personal scattering fields to mask their locations. Rice and his team are searching the area.”

“Good work.” She told him and he turned away with a quick nod. Doctor Evans left the cadets who had clustered around Norv. “How are they, Doctor?” She asked him.

“Shaken, but they’ll all be fine. Cadet Norv suffered the majority of the injuries, typical security officer behavior of course, but nothing we couldn’t fix.” He said irritably. “Cadet Capshaw accurately diagnosed and field-treated a spiral fracture to Cadet Norv’s arm, after which Lieutenant Rice allowed her to remain in play, resulting in a knife wound that narrowly missed her femoral artery. Details will be in my report.”

“Thank you.” She considered speaking to the cadets, but decided to leave them to each other for now. The sickbay doors opened for her as she turned to leave. As soon as they had detected the distress call they’d sent shuttles to check on the other teams and beam them out if necessary. When she reached the bridge, she would find out if they had checked in yet. Only a few paces down the corridor, though, she heard the sickbay doors open again. She turned to see Cadet Norv hurrying toward her. “Can I help you Cadet?”

“I was talking with the other cadets,” She hesitated, “And as soon as it’s safe, we’d like to return to the surface to complete our assignment.”

The request took her back, “You want to complete your assignment?” She shook her head and continued walking with the cadet at her side, “don’t worry, you’ll all get a satisfactory grade without having to go back down.”

Norv stopped and turned toward her. “Satisfactory?” She said the word as though it was an insult. “Would you be willing to accept a satisfactory grade?” 

Russel regarded the young woman. She hadn’t read up on the backgrounds of the cadets who were passengers on her ship, she was more interested in finishing this assignment and getting back out to the front. It had surprised her when Hawkins mentioned that this one had been part of the Bajoran Resistance. Once the situation was resolved, she had some reading to do. She considered the consequences of granting the request, as well as the guts to make the request itself. Norv had included the qualification as soon as its safe, after all. “Very well. When Lieutenant Rice has determined that it’s safe, I’ll send you down. With a couple of security officers, just in case.”

Norv smiled, “Thank you, sir!”

“Dismissed.” The Bajoran cadet returned to sickbay to inform her team. None of them struck her as what she would call ambitious, but insisting on completing their assignment after what had happened showed a drive beyond simple ambition. Something far better. She would have to keep an eye on these five, maybe she would have some openings around the time they graduated.

* * *

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Cm. Kantor, 2371-

_“My name is Commander Kantor. As a citizen of a non-Federation world, Norvish Keedra has asked me to provide a letter of recommendation as part of her application for Starfleet Academy. I ran the Bajoran relief effort in Joralla for most of ‘69 and ‘70. I found her to be capable, dedicated, willing to learn. We occasionally had security issues when delivering supplies, Kee’s experience, as well as others like her, was invaluable towards keeping the provisions safe. She was also respectful and trustworthy. In my opinion all traits that more than qualify her for acceptance into the Academy.”_

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Captain Russel ended the recording and sat back in her chair, and called up the next evaluation in the file.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Cp. Ren, 2372-

_“This is Captain Ren Larno of the Bajoran Militia. As her former commander, I’ve been asked to record a letter of evaluation for Norvish Keedra._

_“They say that in the resistance there were no heroes, only desperate people. For the most part, that’s true, myself included. But I believe that Kee is the exception to that rule. She’s the one that will go rushing in when everyone else is running away. Puts her life on the line for others without complaint or even a second thought. She is truly a hero, through and through._

_“Ten years ago, after my cell rescued her and some other youngsters from the Cardassians, we had intended to take them to a safe location, but they refused to go, insisting that we allow them to join us. Kee,” he took an exasperated breath at the memory, “was the ringleader. But I have never once regretted my decision. Over the years, I’ve seen something in Kee that goes beyond just duty and obligation. I took on her training personally and worked with her for two years with the intent that she would one day replace me. By the end of that time, she’d surpassed me in almost every way. She’s smart, tough, loyal and dedicated. She’s a quick learner and by far the most decent and honest person I’ve ever known. If she suspects what you’re doing isn’t right, she will absolutely let you know about it._

_“In the end, Starfleet would benefit greatly by having her as a member. And for any captains or commanders considering bringing her onto your team, you’d be foolish to overlook her. I’ve certainly tried my best to get her to join the militia so I could have her on my crew.”_

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Cp. Furen, 2373-

_“I’m Captain Bryan Furen, this is an evaluation of Cadet Norvish Keedra from her sophomore field studies. It’s my opinion that Cadet Norvish is a smart, capable and driven individual. She’s exceptional in the area of security with little to no interest in other divisions. Follows orders well. Extremely disciplined. Respectful. Has a little trouble keeping her language clean, though.” He said with a small laugh. “All in all, she’ll make a fine officer.”_

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Cm. Baker, 2374-

_“I’m Commander Baker, senior Academy instructor, security division, this is an evaluation of Cadet Norvish Keedra. First off, Cadet Norv achieved high scores or completely passed many of the placement exams during the initial evaluation period in her first year. She has a unique style that’s effective and creative. I’ve had her teach a number of classes ranging from personal combat to non-standard weaponry. She has a knack for training and command, her students always have the highest scores during final exams. She almost always ends up taking the lead in field training exercises, but the other cadets don’t seem to mind. I highly recommend her for, really, any position within the security field. A detailed eval is attached.”_

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Russel tapped a note out on a padd to remember to send in a request for Cadet Norvish as soon as she graduated.


	12. Standoff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episode Reference: Shadows and Symbols

_2375, Starfleet Academy, YEAR 3_

Kee's attention was focused steadily on the Bajoran news feed. Some kind of standoff had developed between the militia and the Romulans relating to Derna. Romulan warships were closing on the moon where twelve militia ships had formed a blockade. One of them was the Krehu, Ren's ship. She had no doubt he and the other captains would hold their ground, but if the Romulans didn't back down… She couldn't bring herself to consider the possibility of losing him. 

\- - - 

Ren's arms wrapped around her small shoulders as he adjusted her grip on the phaser rifle, reminding her to relax her fingers and back. She lifted the heavy weapon and peered down the sight to aim at a mark he'd made on a faraway rock. He let go of her hands to allow her to do it herself. She lined up the shot, breathed out slowly and squeezed the trigger. Immediately a beam of energy surged out of the weapon, just grazing the rock she was aiming for. 

"Good, you're getting better." He told her as she prepared to try again. 

_ \- - - _

__

He was too strong for her. No matter how hard she tried, he threw her down to the ground over and over. Her muscles ached as she stood up, but she was determined to get this. Her opponents would always be bigger and stronger than her, she had to learn how to use their size to her advantage. 

__

"Do you want to take a break?" Ren asked her. 

__

"No, let's go again." She said. 

__

_ \- - - _

_ __ _

Ren and Kee had taken a short trip away from the rest of the cell to meet with a contact. It was early enough in the fall that the evenings were normally still warm, but a cold front had moved in and caught them unprepared. Kee shivered in front of the small fire she'd built and pulled her knees in close to her chest. A larger fire would be unwise with enemy patrols nearby. 

_ __ _

Ren returned from placing proximity sensors around the area and sat next to her. "Here." He said, wrapping his arms around her. She leaned her head on his chest for a while, enjoying the warmth that developed between them. 

_ __ _

Despite the hunger pains in her stomach and the icy numbness in her fingers, despite the fear that they'd awake to Cardassians surrounding them, she felt content sharing warmth with him and quickly drifted off to sleep. 

_ __ _

_ \- - - _

_ _ __ _ _

Kee sat cross-legged, watching her blood flow through a small tube directly into a vein on Ren's arm. He laid there, only semiconscious. She watched over the man who had taught her and protected her so many times and begged the Prophets that her transfusion would allow him to recover. 

_ _ __ _ _

_ \- - - _

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Keeping watch over the group of four rebels who had survived the massacre, Kee leaned her back against the wall of the cave opening. They had placed proximity sensors around outside, but weren't taking any risks. If the Cardassians found them before, they could find them now. 

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

She absentmindedly flipped her phaser's safety switch on and off, wanting to be out there looking for the ones responsible. Tracking them down incase other cells were in danger too. But Ren maintained that it was too dangerous, at least until they knew how they had been tracked and ambushed. He was right, of course. 

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Kee heard a noise behind her in the cave and turned to see Ren ambling towards her. He sat down heavily across from her. 

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

"Couldn't sleep?" She asked. 

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

"Not a bit." He said, his tone giving away the weariness he must have felt. 

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

"I'm not sure if I'll ever sleep again." 

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

"You will." He assured her and took her hand, "We'll make it through this and we'll keep fighting on behalf those who can't." 

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

_ \- - - _

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

"I just don't want you to get hurt." Ren said, sitting next to her on the ground. "This is a dangerous business we're in." 

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

Kee kept her head bowed, didn't look up at him as she spoke. "I know. But I love him, and if one of us dies, isn't it better to have at least had some time together than none at all?" He didn't respond, just slid a hand around her shoulder to pull her close. 

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

_ \- - - _

_ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _

"Do you understand how stupid what you did was?!" He shouted at her. 

_ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _

Kee was sure Ren's sharp rebuke stung worse than the needle Ilwea was using to stitch up the gash across her back. She fought to keep the tears out of her eyes and offered no argument or excuse for her actions. 

_ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _

"What were you thinking?" He continued. 

_ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _

"I wasn't." She mumbled. 

_ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _

"Damn right you weren't!" He said, not letting up at all. "You could have gotten yourself or somebody else killed!" 

_ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _

He was right to scold her and it broke her heart to think that she had lost his trust. 

_ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _

_ \- - - _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

Kee sat on a fallen tree with her head bowed down and her back to the rest of the cell. She hadn't said a word to anyone since returning from her mission without Traie and was grateful that they'd all left her alone. Finally, Ren approached and sat down next to her, wrapping an arm silently around her shoulder to hold her close. She felt hollow and empty. No tears came, she had the pain locked away and never intended to let it out. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ \- - - _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Kee slipped under the murky, green water as quickly as stealth would allow. Placing a hollow reed between her lips so she could breathe, she hooked her feet around the underwater root of a tree to anchor herself next to Ren, who was doing the same. Up through the muck she could see the blurry forms of Cardassian soldiers walking along the bank. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

After a few minutes a tree branch plunged into the water not far away, then pulled back out. The Cardassians probed the water, searching for them. The branch passed by over her head without touching her, but it knocked the reed out of her mouth. Kee held her breath, fighting the urge to come up out of the water for air, wondering if she would drown before the Cardassians gave up. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Her lungs burned and just when the urge to take a breath felt overwhelming, she felt Ren's hand wrap around the back of her neck pulling her toward him. He pressed his lips to hers and breathed air into her lungs. Then he pulled back to breathe through the reed again. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

They coordinated their breathing like that for a long time, until they were sure the Cardassians had given up. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ \- - - _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Kee watched the depth of the forest for a long time after Joial, Cadda and Naren left to take Ilwea to one of the safehouses. A lump lingered in her throat even as she struggled to suppress the memory of what just happened to him. What the Cardassians had done to him was more horrible that anything she'd ever witnessed. She would have given her life to end it, but it was not permitted. He was out of the fight now, permanently. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Finally, she turned to Ren with a shaking voice, "I can't do this anymore." 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He put his hand on the small of her back, turned her around and firmly guided her away from the rest of the group. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

So much death, so much pain, she couldn't keep it up. She'd lost so much. They'd all lost so much, it was too devastating to bear. And the rest of her life spread out before her like vast emptiness. An abyss that she was helpless to prevent herself from falling into. The only one holding her back was Ren and only by a thread. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

When they had privacy from the others, he took her face in his hands and forced her to look him in the eye. "You're strong enough to get through this." He told her firmly. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

She squeezed her eyes shut. "I don't want to be. I can't do it anymore." She nearly sobbed. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ "Kee, look at me." His eyes drilled into hers with a blend of strength and compassion. With a steadiness that held her fixed. "I understand what you're going though. But you _ will_ keep fighting. Because that's the only thing we _can_ do." _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

She held his gaze. Her breathing calmed. He'd provided a path through the void. A difficult one with an uncertain future, but a path nonetheless. He must have seen her acceptance because he moved his hands from her face to her shoulders and gave a gentle squeeze. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Her legs suddenly felt weak and she dropped to her knees in the dry leaves. She knelt there, regathering her strength. He moved to the side and walked back to the others, leaving her alone. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ \- - - _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The first few weeks following the Withdrawal had been chaotic. The need for food and shelter was urgent and help couldn't arrive fast enough. Kee did her best to make sure the residents of the safe house were taken care of. When they'd emerged from the bunker everything had been destroyed, their only salvation was a supply stash hidden in the weapons locker, which they'd had to dig through the rubble of the house to get to. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Once the government had begun to organize and Starfleet arrived with personnel and supplies, Kee and her two companions returned to Joralla to meet up with the rest of the cell. She hadn't been away from Ren for that long in the seven years they'd known each other and when she saw him, she threw herself into his arms. He wrapped her in a loving embrace. Her heart squeezed in on itself like it would burst. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Finally, he pulled back and she could see the grin on his face. His expression said it all, we did it! 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

\- - - 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Kee was so deeply engrossed in the memories that she jumped at the sound of the door chime. "Come." She said automatically. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Maggie entered and paused when she saw that Kee was distracted by the display on her console. "I was just wondering if you finished your part of the survey report." She said tentatively. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Kee pointed to a padd on the corner of her desk without looking up. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"What's that you're watching?" Maggie asked, picking up the padd. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Kee pointed out the Krehu on the news feed. "That's Ren's ship." 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Are those Romulans?" She exclaimed. "But they're our allies!" 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"They're the Federation's allies, not necessarily Bajor's. There's still a difference." Kee corrected. "They're being really vague about what's actually happening." It was possible they'd never know officially. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

She watched the tense standoff with Maggie as the narrator prattled on, repeating the few facts they knew followed by a number of theories: that the Romulans considered themselves a more important ally to the Federation than Bajor and were taking the opportunity to conquer them, that the Romulan ships were actually disguised Dominion vessels, and, most ridiculous, that the Federation was using the Romulans and their new alliance to carry out a long-desired invasion of Bajor. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Then, without a shot fired, the Romulan ships began breaking away. Kee nearly shouted with vicarious triumph, but instead, only laughed and collapsed her head to the desk in relief.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	13. Give In

_2375, Starfleet Academy, Year 3_

Kee tried not to watch the notification interface on her console while working on an assignment on a padd. Her team had turned in their planetary survey report two days ago and were expecting the grade to come in by the end of the day. All five of them had been highly praised for their actions and quick thinking on the planet. The attention made Kee uncomfortable. After all, it was her presence and her personal history that had caused the team to be put in danger in the first place. 

By now, though most of it had died down and she felt like things were finally back to normal. In about a month they will have completed their third year and she would again be faced with making excuses why she would not be returning home over the break. She missed Bajor and her friends, but her mother's constant pressure to quit and come home along with her brother's hateful attitude towards her made impossible to be there. 

A message popped up on her display, notifying her that they had received the highest possible grade for their survey project. She smiled to herself, not really having expected anything else. Maggie was a chronic overachiever and would have settled for nothing less. 

Her door chimed just then and she glanced down at her attire: she was barefoot and had stripped off the outermost layers of her uniform down to the tank top. Anyone showing up this late at night wouldn't expect her to be in full uniform. "Come in." 

The door opened and Loren stepped inside holding a pad. She felt like he had been avoiding her since their trip. She didn't blame him. 

"Hey, the grade on our project came in." 

"I know. I got it too... about thirty seconds ago." She smiled, pointing at her computer. Of course, he knew that she would have received it too, it felt like an excuse. 

"Oh. Ok." He stood just inside the doorway, seeming to decide whether to stay or leave. "Ca-Can I talk to you about something?" 

"Sure." Warnings firing off in her mind. What could make him so hesitant? 

The cadet rooms didn't have much in the way of furniture, just a bed, a desk and a chair. It seemed serious, so she moved to sit at the foot of the bed and motioned for him to join her. 

He was silent for long moments before finally saying, "Do you think the Cipher person is still out there somewhere?" 

She doubted that's what he had wanted to talk to her about, but she went with it anyway. "I don't know. Hopefully he was able to go on and make a life for himself like the rest of us." 

"We never would have made it out of there without you." 

She blew out a short breath, "You wouldn't have been _in_ danger if it wasn't for me." 

"Look," He said, seeming to finally get to his point, "We've known each other for almost three years now. I've enjoyed our friendship and the time we've spent together." He leaned imperceptibly closer and she breathed in the scent of his cologne that made her head swim. "I don't know if this is the right thing to do, but I don't want to avoid this anymore." His fingertips brushed gently against hers between them on the bed. 

Her heart was pounding now, she couldn't manage to make eye contact. 

His voice was barely above a whisper as though he thought someone might overhear. "Our friendship means a lot to me, but... Kee, I'm in love with you." 

Her full focus was on where their fingers touched and his lips so close to hers. It would only take a tiny movement to touch them. She'd tried too hard to ignore the feelings he stirred in her, but it was more than just an attraction, much more. She felt... something that she couldn't name. Or maybe she'd just been working too hard not to. 

With only a slight movement his lips were pressed lightly against hers. Like they belonged there. Like they always had. 

Before she knew what she was doing, she closed her eyes and leaned into the kiss, curling her fingers loosely around his. His lips were soft and warm and she tipped her head to the side to kiss deeper. She felt his hands slip around her waist sending chills through her body and she reached up to run her fingers through his hair. 

Some mix of fear and guilt slammed into her and she pulled back and stood, turning her back to him, but he locked his fingers in hers to keep her from moving too far away, keep her from fleeing. 

She scrambled to identify her feelings. Why did she want to run away? Why couldn't she allow herself to have this? 

She knew why. 

Swallowing hard, she turned back to him. His face was slightly flushed from their kiss, but his forehead was furrowed. 

"You shouldn't be with me." She tried to gather her thoughts enough to explain. 

"Kee-" 

But she interrupted. "I'm not the person that you think I am. I'm a terrorist. A criminal. I've done things that you can't possibly imagine." 

The sound of crushed neck bones forced themselves to her mind. The dull catch of knife striking bone. The chilling warmth of her enemy's blood flowing over her hands as she watched with icy hatred. She couldn't meet his gaze and couldn't bring herself to tell him these things for fear he would hate her for them. 

"That doesn't matter." He pleaded. "I know who you are now." 

"Those things _are_ what made me who I am. I'm damaged, broken. Guilty of terrible things. And you, you're," she searched for the right word, "perfect." The word came out almost pleadingly. "You deserve better than this." 

He didn't flinch, or even look away. Instead, he tugged her hand for her to come back to him. When she did, he took up her other hand. "Where you see 'damage' I see someone who's had the strength to put herself back together. Where you see 'broken' I see someone who's taken the pieces of her old life and made something new. Where you see 'guilt' I see someone willing to give whatever it took for other people's freedom." He adjusted his fingers to grip her hands more firmly. "I want you, Kee. And I'll do whatever it takes to deserve you." 

Her throat squeezed so tight she couldn't reply as he looked up at her from the foot of her bed all open and honest. He deserved better. And she didn't deserve him at all. The raw edges of her ruined pagh shrunk from his adoration like it was a frightful thing even as she desperately craved it. 

"I can't-" She began but couldn't finish the thought. He really did want her. And she wanted this. She could have this. And she could have had it all along. Why had she always pushed him away? Why did she have to be so stubborn? 

Without really deciding to, she leaned down to kiss him, lips as soft and firm as before. His hands released hers and slid up the backs of her legs to rest on her hips, sending a cry of urgency through her body. 

All the times she had ignored the impulse to be close to him melted away as she bent to kiss deeper, tongues sliding against each other. The taste of his mouth only spurred her on. The world fell away from her awareness. The only thing she could think about was how she wanted more of him. All her fears and insecurities and self-doubt blew away like the ashes of a dead fire on a puff of breath. 

Urged on now by something much simpler, she stepped around his legs so that she was straddling him and sat down on his lap, pressing her body against his. He held one arm tight around her waist and slid the other up her back, making her skin tingle at his touch. 

Nuzzling against the crook of her neck, he ran his hands up her bare arms and around her shoulder blades. 

He made a helpless sound against her collar bone as she pushed his jacket off his shoulders and dug into his collar to unfasten it. 

While she pushed that off, too, he kissed along the scooped neck of her tank top, ending at her cleavage. A flush of heat swept through her at the feel of his lips on the sensitive flesh. 

She tugged at his undershirt, peeling it off over his head and pushed him down onto the bed, both of them moving and adjusting up on the bed so that his head lay on her pillow. His legs moved hastily under her and she heard a boot hit the floor. Then another one. When he was settled, she straddled him right on top of his hips and lifted her tank top off and dropped it somewhere off of the bed. 

His hands wrapped around her bare waist and slid up her spine, fire zinged along the nerves. Anticipation surged low in her body. So long had she wanted to feel his hands on her, she wanted to savor every moment of it. 

He looked up at her with glassy eyes. "Wow, you're gorgeous." 

She smiled and leaned down to kiss him again, pausing long enough to gaze into his eyes and take in the tenderness there that wiped away the last of her uncertainty. 

* * * 

Loren watched Kee resting next to him. She was laying almost flat on her stomach, her face pointing away from him and her arms tucked under the pillow that was bunched under her chin. An elegant black tattoo crawled across her back, tendrils twisting and looping out from a main stem that ran diagonally from her left hip to her right shoulder. Adding a three-dimensional quality there were touches of metallic silver highlights. He'd known she had the tattoo, but had never seen all of it. 

He traced one of the tendrils with his finger, "This is beautiful." 

She turned her head to face him, "It covers up a scar." She said without elaborating. 

He looked closely and saw a slight imperfection in the skin under the black ink, wondering what could have left a scar like that. But he wouldn't push for more information, she'd decide for herself whether to tell him. 

"It's still beautiful." He said then trailed kisses along the scar, noting with satisfaction the goosebumps that blossomed across her skin. 

She turned her naked body to fully face him, flattening out her pillow under her head and he pulled her close to him. She closed her eyes and her body melted into his. 

He wondered how she could ever doubt herself so much. True, it had been necessary for her to commit what must have been terrible acts, but she wasn't to blame. The survival of her race was at stake and she did the only thing Norvish Keedra could have done: step up. What she condemned herself for, he could only see as an admirable quality. It was who she was, as simple as that, and he admired her for it. 

He'd been completely and totally in love with her almost since the day they'd met and wished he'd had the courage to say so earlier. He was about to tell her as much when he realized her eyes were closed and her breathing was slow and even. 

He took a moment to watch her sleep, he'd never seen her face so relaxed. He known for a long time that she had a dark, haunting past and she was never truly carefree and happy. There were times when she'd opened up to them about something in her past, but he always got the feeling that there was more she wasn't telling them. He never pressed for more information, but he wanted to somehow make her understand that there was nothing she could say that would change how he felt about her. At the very least, he hoped he could bring her some kind of happiness. 

He breathed in her scent, a faint mixture of Bajoran spices that he'd learned to associate with her. Her skin also smelled like his cologne and he smiled thinking about how that had happened. Her soft, warm skin, her back arched in pleasure as they shared their bodies. It had only been a matter of minutes since then, but it already seemed like a long time ago. He brushed some hair away from her face and watched her sleep. 

* * * 

Kee woke with a start and it took a moment for her mind to clear enough to understand why: there was a warm body next to her. She glanced at the chronometer, it was still too early to get up so she watched the steady rise and fall of his chest, then watched his peaceful, relaxed face. 

Love that she'd been hiding from even herself squeezed at her heart, but the contentment of it was momentary, crushed by the weight that settled into her stomach. 

Guilt. Fear. These were the emotions that twisted her stomach and forced her out of bed. 

She slipped away carefully so as not to wake him. Then quickly snatched up his undershirt off the floor and pulled it over her head before she stepped around the privacy partition to the small space outside the sonic shower. There, she leaned her back against the wall and let out a slow, shaking breath, attempting to center herself to analyze her feelings. 

The fear was the easiest to identify. Starfleet wasn't the Resistance, but it was still a dangerous profession. If anything ever happened to him, it would break her for sure. She couldn't go through that again. She'd picked herself up and kept going after Traie because there was nothing else she could have done, but it left her broken and if it happened again, she'd have no chance. There wasn't enough of her left to break again. 

She'd thought it was best to never love again, to eliminate any and all chance of experiencing that gutting pain again. But it turned out, it wasn't really her choice. She'd fallen for him despite her resolve not to. And pretending it wasn't there hadn't worked at all. 

The guilt, though, was much more difficult to look at. She and Traie would have been married by now for sure. They might have even had children. An image flashed through her mind before she could stop it: she and Traie in their home. Together. Happy. The thought clawed through her heart. 

Helpless to stop them, tears flooded her eyes and trailed down her face for the life she could never have. The love that was ripped away from her. She slid down the wall to the floor, pulled her knees to her chest and allowed the tears to come as hard and fully as they would. 

"Hey." Loren's voice pulled her out of the spiral. 

She looked up. He was dressed in only his shorts and stood tentatively at the partition with concern etched on his face. 

She realized he'd never seen her cry before. 

"I'm sorry." She said, wiping under her eyes with her thumb. 

"Hey." He repeated, but this time it was a gentile scold as he sat on the floor next to her. 

She tried to scoff at herself but it came out as more of a sniffle. "I'm sorry, you're probably wondering what you got yourself into." 

"No, I was wondering what I can do to help." He said softly, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, fully engulfing her in his comfort. 

She was surprised at how much it helped. She hadn't realized how heavy a burden it was until he helped her carry it just then. Which in turn deepened the guilt twisting her stomach like a wrung-out rag. She pressed her cheek against his bare chest and he squeezed her tighter. 

Without really deciding to, the confession spilled from her lips. "I still love him." 

His body tensed for an instant, but he waited for her to finish. 

"Nothing will ever change that." The next thing she had to say would be hard for him to hear, but she had to be honest. "I would give anything for him to be alive again. I would give up anything. My life here, my future in Starfleet, even you. And I'm sorry for that. You deserve more." 

He remained silent for a long time, still holding her close like he could shield her from her own hurt. 

Finally, he said, "I can't pretend to understand how you feel, but I'm right here with you no matter what." 

"You don't have to be." She insisted. It wasn't his pain to bear. 

His lips brushed a gentle kiss on her hairline. "Tell me about him." He said softly. 

She lifted her head to look at him, trying to decipher what he had said. 

"He's important to you, so he's important to me." 

Everything inside her, every wall she'd put up to protect herself crumbled and she felt more naked than she had while they had been in bed together. With a shaking breath, she tried to sum up the man she loved. "You would have liked him." She began. 

* * * 

It couldn't have been more than an hour since they'd gotten back to bed and fallen asleep, but Kee's eyes fell onto the chronometer two minutes before the alarm would go off. She reached up and turned it off so it wouldn't wake him. 

Exhausted from the raw emotions of the night, she wanted nothing more than to close her eyes and snuggle back in. 

She faced the side of the bed with Loren's body stretched out the length of hers. His face was nuzzled into the crook of her neck from behind while his stubble scratched at her shoulder with every subtle movement. His arm was wrapped securely around her middle with his chest and knees perfectly and tightly conformed to her body. Her toes rested lightly on the tops of his feet as he continued to sleep. 

Despite the lack of sleep, she had to get up. She had things to do. So, she reluctantly extracted herself from his embrace and slipped out of the warmth of their shared bed. She peeked back at him to find him shifting his position, but still asleep. She could still hardly fathom how someone like him could want someone as damaged as her, but she put that away for the moment. 

She grabbed a protein bar from a stack that she kept in her drawer next to her workout attire and took a bite before picking up a neatly folded set of clothes. As she chewed, she pulled on the clothes: a gray, supportive top with a security-gold stripe across the chest and a pair of shorts with the same color scheme, but the stripe was vertical and ran down the side. 

Taking another bite, she opened a small box with tactical contact lenses and slipped them into her eyes and blinked them into place. On a mission, they would provide a heads-up display and interface that could be valuable in a combat situation. For now, though, security cadets wore them regularly just to get used to how they felt. 

Another bite, and she gathered her hair into a ponytail just as she noticed a change in Loren's breathing and turned to find him watching her. 

"You were up all night, you should take it easy this morning." He urged sleepily. 

"Sleep is for fugbuckles." She repeated the security division's unofficial mantra. She had laughed at first at their use of the modified curse, but it allowed them to skirt the edge of proper 'Starfleet' language. 

"There's no way I can talk you into coming back here?" He seductively rubbed the sheet where she'd been laying, but it only made her burst out laughing, almost choking on her last bite. 

"Nope, I'm going." She said, seating herself on the bed anyway within his reach and he draped his arms around her hips. 

"If you'll wait a minute, I'll join you." 

"You don't run." Aerobics and weights were his usual form of exercise. 

"I also don't usually sleep with you, but I could start a few new habits." 

"Oh... so you thought this was going to happen again?" She leaned down over him with her elbows on the bed. 

"I'd bet a year's worth of credits on it." 

She playfully bit her lip and glanced away. "I was just imagining what I'll do with a year of your credits." 

His fingers trailed up her shoulder blades and tugged her down for a kiss, but they were both snickering so much they could barely manage it. 

"I'll get in a few laps, then you can join me. That way we'll finish together." 

The raised eyebrows and the smirk on his face made her think back through what she'd just said and she could only roll her eyes at the juvenile joke. "Oh, grow up." 

She pressed her hand in the middle of his chest for leverage to straighten up and left him to put on her shoes. 

* * * 

Kee should have done this a long time ago. It was selfish and self-destructive of her not to. If the Prophets were who she believed them to be, they wouldn't forsake his pagh just because she failed to recite some ancient prayer for the dead. They were just words. This act was for her benefit. 

It had been inexcusable for her to bury him in that pit in her mind where only the most horrible memories were kept locked away. He didn't belong there. There were only a few people left that knew he had existed at all and fewer still that knew what a hero he'd been. He deserved better than to be erased. 

She sat cross-legged on the floor of her room with a traditional daranja lamp cradled in the palms of her hands. She hesitated for several minutes, willing herself to continue. Finally, she picked up a plasma lighter and lit the wick inside. She took a moment to breathe in the scent of the incense and infused oil until the smoke began to burn her eyes. 

"I'm sorry, Traie. I should have done this a long time ago." Her throat tightened and she dismissed the urge to tamp down the feelings again. She needed to _feel_ this. 

"When it first happened, I couldn't bear to go on without you. But I had no choice. I did what I had to like we always did." She stopped again and watched a tear fall into the lamp, sizzling in the hot oil. 

"I've held on to you all these years. You're always with me somehow. A part of me. But tormenting myself this way won't bring you back. The life we would have had together is gone. I have to let you go." 

She bent over the candle's smoke again, pausing on the edge of surrender, uncertain if she really wanted to let him go. Then she swallowed hard and began reciting the words she'd memorized as a small child. The prayer for the dead. 

"_Raka-ja ut shala morala..._" do not let him walk alone... "_ema bo roo kana..._" guide him on his journey... "_uranak..._" protect..._ "ralanon Traie..." _the one named Traie..._ "propeh va nara ehsuk shala-kan vunek ..._" take him into the gates of heaven... 

* * * 

Loren watched Kee on the monitors along with Commander Baker and a number of other cadets from Security. She stood alone in the center of a holo-grid, waiting, dressed in black with a yellow pinstripe down her sides and fingerless training gloves on her hands. Her blond hair made for a stark contrast against all of that black. 

For the last three years he'd worked hard not to allow his eyes to linger on her form longer than was appropriate between friends. But now, he was finally permitted to look, to admire, to adore. Her body was lean and sleek, powerful. The contour of muscle across every bit of exposed skin revealed that she was tense and ready. 

"Ready?" Baker said into a comm. 

The 'labyrinth' as they called it was a test of stamina, ingenuity and insight, designed to push the security cadets to their limits. 

"Just waiting on you!" She called back with a smirk that contradicted the tension in her posture. 

Baker pressed a key on the panel in front of him and immediately the room around Kee went dark except for a spotlight above her. Walls appeared, enclosing her but she waited, motionless, to see what would happen next. A grid appeared on the floor below her and pieces of it began to fall away revealing a deep pit below her. She looked above her and found a bar attached to the ceiling above her head. Before the last of the floor disappeared, she jumped and caught the bar, moving back and forth a few times to stabilize her grip. 

After a few seconds an opening in the ceiling shimmered into existence above her. Kee lifted her legs, folding at the waist, threaded her feet through the opening then hoisted her lower body inside. Finding something to anchor her feet on, she released her arms and dangled upside down for a moment before lifting the rest of the way in. 

Once she had disappeared, the view changed to her new location where she stood up and ran down a corridor that opened up into a large circular chamber that extended for at least twenty meters up and down with a rope dangling down the middle. Without hesitating Kee leapt off of the ledge and caught hold of the rope. With her legs wrapped around it she looked up and down the walls to locate a control panel ten meters below her and upside down. She lowered herself almost to the control panel, wrapped her leg one more time around the rope then let go with her hands to drop and dangle upside down in line with the panel. It was still out of reach, though, so she swung back and forth until she could grab a handle next to it and pull herself close. 

She tapped at the panel, still upside down and when she had evidently solved the puzzle an opening appeared ten meters above the doorway she had entered through and a series of numbers became visible on the walls of the chamber. 

Kee pulled herself back upright and climbed up the rope to the new opening, again swinging back and forth to reach the edge. Once she was inside, the opening closed off behind her and she was again sealed off in a room with a console. She tapped numbers into the panel that, as far as Loren could remember, resembled the numbers on the walls. 

When she had entered the correct sequence, the ceiling opened up to a tall square tunnel that lead straight up with another doorway at the top. Without a moment's hesitation Kee pressed her back and one foot against one wall and planted the other foot on the opposite wall. In this way she edged slowly upward, grunting with exertion on each vertical push. When she finally reached the top, she paused to shift her weight and launched herself through the opening into a tall but narrow corridor. 

The corridor was filled with a series of energy globes that were each rotating around axes at different speeds all along the corridor. Kee watched the seemingly impassible obstruction, calculating her timing. As soon as the closest of the globes passed by her she bolted forward, ducking, pausing and vaulting over them. She suddenly stopped at one of them that she had to wait for, but the one behind her was going to reach her first. She dropped flat on the ground to allow it to pass, then bound back to her feet and continued running through them. 

At the end of the energy globes the floor ended at a ledge over a huge pitch-black cavern with an endless abyss below. Ledges seemed to hover in the air at certain distances and a beam above her bridged the gap between where she stood and the first of the ledges. She leapt up, grabbing the beam on opposite sides then shuffled her hands along it, finally dropping down onto the first ledge. 

She took a running start and jumped to the second then the third ledge. The fourth ledge was shaped like a staircase and the pieces began to fall away as soon as her feet touched them. She climbed quickly to the highest point, which stayed in place. The edge of solid ground, holographic solid ground he reminded himself, was far away and quite a distance below her. She considered it for a moment before taking a leap. She landed with a roll just past the edge of the drop-off, pushed back to her feet and ran toward a doorway into another corridor. 

Using her momentum, she scaled a nearly vertical wall in less than a second and vaulted over it to the other side, landing on a platform no larger than her feet. More platforms were placed on alternating sides and she ran across them to yet another ledge and an empty corridor. As soon as she entered, a door closed behind her and words appeared on the walls. She walked cautiously along the corridor, glancing at the words and the ceiling that read "What's up there?" and "Is this the end?" 

She approached a door at the end of the corridor and reached out to the handle but hesitated before touching it. 

With realization dawning on her face she slowly stepped backward, then jumped back when a solid door slid down in front of her. She turned to see similar doors slowly descending from the ceiling all along the corridor. She ran, ducking under the doors, then finally dropped and slid on her side to clear the last door. 

Enclosed in another compartment, she studied the walls for a clue, finally sliding her hands along them. Seeming to have located something that felt different on the wall, she pressed hard against it and it moved away to reveal a thin opening. She squeezed her small frame sideways through the crack. 

On the other side was a steep drop-off with a single platform in the middle and a rope suspended horizontally across the void. She promptly jumped up to grab the rope and swung her legs up and hooked them over, then pulled herself hand over hand across to the platform, finally dropping down exactly in the center of it. 

The computer signaled that the maze was complete and Kee dropped to her knees back in the holo-grid to catch her breath. A moment later the computer announced "Time elapsed: nine minutes, three-point-six-four-eight seconds. Accuracy: ninety-nine-point-eight-five-two percent. Rank: top-ten." 

With that Kee raised her hands in victory as her classmates cheered. Loren himself couldn't keep the proud grin off his face. 

* * * 

Kee couldn't move. After the labyrinth, she'd slunk back to her room, passed briefly through the sonic shower and flopped face down, limbs sprawled out across the bed. She hadn't even realized that she'd fallen asleep until the door chimed and she saw that the chronometer read hours later than she'd last remembered. 

"Yeah?" She called groggily. 

_ "It's me."_ Loren's muffled voice came through the door. 

"Come in." She muttered into the bedding, relieved that it wasn't someone she'd have to put on her public personae for. 

"Hey." He said with an amused lilt to his voice when he came in. "Tired?" 

She only managed to mumble something resembling an affirmative. 

The bed next to her dipped down as he sat. "Here," He said, arranging her two pillows next to her, "move over here." 

She lifted herself and edged over to lay across the pillows as he indicated and he knelt over her, settling down on the backs of her legs. 

His hands were warm when he began to press them firmly against her back, rubbing with broad strokes at first. With a deep sigh, she immediately felt her muscles begin to relax under his attention. Once he seemed to have mapped out every centimeter of her back, he began working along each length of muscle from her spine out. And each muscle, in turn, softened under his fingers. 

Slowly up one side and down the other, concentrating anywhere he found a knot. She'd had therapeutic massages a few times, but always with a hologram. This, though, was different, sensual. Just the feel of his skin against hers was as satisfying as the work on her muscles. 

Then, as his fingertips trailed lightly down her sides past her ribs and waist, her whole body tensed while a shock went through her body and her skin tightened into goosebumps with a tiny, uncontrollable yelp. 

He retracted his hands instantly, "Are... are you ticklish?" 

She actually didn't know. No one had ever touched her that way before. _No._ Resistance fighters and security officers weren't ticklish. She couldn't be. 

In her hesitation, he tentatively trailed his fingers down her sides again, eliciting the same response. 

"You are!" 

Ignoring her screaming muscles, she turned over quickly under him and grabbed his wrists, holding his hands up and away from the area. "You do that again..." She left the threat open-ended. 

"Well, now that I _know_..." With a twinkle to his eyes, he made a mock effort to try it again, but she held him firm. 

With a little more play fighting, she pulled him down toward her, close enough for a kiss. 

* * * 

Kee sat, propped against the head of Loren's bed with his head in her lap. She ran her fingers through his hair absentmindedly as she leaned her head against the wall with her eyes closed. She finally looked down at him, his eyes were closed, but she knew he wasn't asleep. 

They had completed the last of their third-year final exams the previous day and were relaxing together. Not really doing anything, just silently existing together, which felt good after the pressure of finals. Kee's tests had included several grueling physical challenges and she appreciated the fact that he wasn't interested in doing anything else. The two padds they'd been using earlier sat stacked on the nightstand. 

Loren's cat, T'Puss, jumped up onto the bed. The sleek, black feline walked back and forth in front of him, meowing, purring and rubbing the full length of her body across his face. He reached over and began petting her obediently. 

"She seems upset." Kee offered. 

"She's unhappy that I've been spending most nights at your place." 

Kee reached down to stroke the cat. "Too bad we can't stay here, but your bed is too small." 

"Yeah, how'd you end up with a double bed anyway?" 

She shrugged, it wasn't like she really needed such a large bed, she'd spent the majority of her life without a bed at all. "If she's that upset about you being gone, why don't you bring her next time you stay over?" 

"Really?" He said as though it was the last think he'd expected her to suggest. 

"Yeah. There's no reason she should have to be alone all night. I'm not trying to steel you away from her." 

"I'm pretty sure she thinks that's what you're doing. I'd need to set up a water bowl and a sandbox." 

"That's fine." She said, rubbing the cat under the chin. 

Cutting off their light conversation, both of the padds came to life at once. Their screens displaying a general message to all cadets. 

Loren picked one up, concern etching his face as he read it. "They're pulling our class out early to help fight the Dominion. Postings will be sent out shortly." 

He looked up at Kee. They thought they would have one more year together. What after that, she didn't know, but they should have had more time. 

Kee retrieved her padd and stood up, her overworked muscles protesting as she took a few steps away toward the window, not trusting herself to speak. There was very little chance they'd be assigned to the same ship, and with the way the war was going, there was a real possibility one of them wouldn't be coming back. She was sure she couldn't go through that, not again. 

Loren came up behind her and put his arm around her waist. "We'll be together again after the war is over." He said, echoing a similar sentiment Traie had once voiced. 

"Of course." She said, though she didn't believe it. 

They stood together in silence wishing there was some way to change it, wanting it to be some mistake, that the order could somehow be taken back. Foolishly wanting some way to bargain for more time, someone to argue with. But Command wouldn't have sent it out unless the decision was final. 

If they could just... she didn't know what she thought could happen. Short of the war ending in the next few days, there was no way for anyone to reverse it. They'd all seen the casualty reports. The fleet numbers were dwindling, the Federation was losing territory. It was selfish for her to want to stay when people who knew how to fight were needed out there most of all. 

It seemed that no matter what, her life would forever be occupied by violence. She had this thought not with bitterness, only reconnection. There hadn't been a war when she joined up, but there was now, and she would do her duty to protect the Federation and, with it, Bajor. That's all she could do. 

A chirp from their padds interrupted her disheartening thoughts, indicating new messages. She glanced at the title of the message, "It's the assignments." She took a breath and opened the message, "I'm... being assigned to the Antares under Captain Russel. We leave in two weeks." 

Reading his own assignment, he said, "USS Malinche." 

They fell silent again with a heaviness surrounding them. The next two weeks might be the only time they'd have left. Ever. 

* * * 

"I vow to obey the laws of the United Federation of Planets, to defend its security and abide by the principles it stands for." 

Kee recited the words along with over a thousand other cadets in security-gold uniforms arranged in perfect rows standing at stiff attention. 

"I vow to obey Starfleet orders and responsibilities. I vow to obey the principles of non-interference and to uphold it with my life if necessary. 

"As the principle Starfleet was founded upon, I vow to seek out life in all its forms. I will uphold the standards of service, sacrifice and compassion all the days of my life." 

The words sent chills of anticipation and responsibility across her shoulders and neck. 

A pair of Admirals accompanied Commander Baker as he moved down the first row, affixing a single black-centered pip to each graduate's collar. 

While she waited for her turn, she couldn't dismiss the lump in the pit of her stomach. There was a war raging out there. Surely, battles were being fought at that very moment. They'd been more or less sheltered from it here on Earth, but the fact was that a lot of the people standing there with her would be dead in a matter of weeks or months. All the studying, hard work and commitment leading up to this moment could be for nothing, cut down by an inexhaustible army of manufactured soldiers. 

No doubt many of the proud family members attending the service would be crushed by grief in the near future. But the vows they'd just voiced mattered more than any of that. Every one of them would fight and offer their lives for the safety of the Federation and its allies. As too would the other graduates in medical, engineering, science and command currently attending their own ceremonies. 

She re-squared her shoulders and tipped her chin up ever so slightly when Baker stood before her. 

"Congratulations, Ensign." He said a little more warmly than he had to the others. Then she scarcely felt the gentle tug of the pip he set on her collar. Its real weight was imperceptible, but it was as heavy a thing as she'd ever carried. Now, it wasn't just one world that rested on her shoulders, but thousands. The Admirals stepped up and shook her hand, but she barely perceived it, never had she felt the gravity of responsibility this fully, not even in her Resistance days. She was a Starfleet officer and would be until the day she died. 

* * * 

Kee had packed the few belongings that couldn't be replaced out of the replicator. A framed photo of her with Maggie and one with Loren. A few awards she'd received during her three years here. And a tiny box containing her father's earring which she'd kept for the last twenty years. Captain Russel had evidently requested Kee and Maggie to be assigned to her ship. Kee was pleased that at least her close friend would be with her. 

The door chimed, she knew it would be Loren. He wouldn't be leaving for a couple more days. They'd agreed to say their goodbyes privately in her room. "Come in." 

The door opened to reveal Loren, not how she was accustomed to seeing him, but in the black, grey and red uniform of a fully commissioned officer. He looked unbelievably handsome and she wondered if it would be so bad for her to be fifteen minutes late. "You look great!" 

"So do you. The uniform suits you." He said. She'd almost forgotten that she was also wearing an officer's uniform. She reached up to kiss him, deep and passionate, breathing in his scent for what could be the last time. Their arms wrapped around each other's bodies. When their lips parted, he leaned his forehead against hers and said, "We'll be together again when this is all over." 

She wanted to believe it but no part of her did. 

"I have to be at the transporter pad in five minutes." She looked into his eyes, "I love you." 

He kissed her one last time. One _last_ time. "I love you, too." With that she tore herself away and left him in what was no longer her room. 

End of Section 2 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm not going to rewrite Part 3, but I did do some heavy editing and I'll insert a couple of new, small chapters to cover some things that I sort-of skipped over the first time through. So please do continue on and read Part 3 (and 4). I'll also be adding another story after Part 4 soon.


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